Thankfulness...

Taking a moment today to meditate on thankfulness, and also appreciating publicly just some of the countless ways in which I am blessed:

My wife.  It is difficult to express all of the ways that our relationship (which has spanned more than half my life) is important to me.  She keeps me in balance, alert and aware, and provides an anchor of familiarity and capability that allows me to be the best version of me.  She offers that other perspective, the one I don't consider.  She is my partner in changing lives and in building a world of which we can proud.

My children.  The work of being a parent is different from anything I could have prepared for.  I'm amazed at how my girls have been active contributors to my own learning of how to be the kind of parent they've needed me to be.  They are each very different people, but they are each and in their own way just what I've needed to grow well into the role.  Without the gifts (and challenges) of their own distinct selves, the rough edges of my parenting style could never have been softened like they needed to.

My school.  Over my almost 20 years of teaching, I have become ever more convinced that my place in the vast universe that is the education system is in the tiny corner that includes small, alternative, community-focused, individualized schools like Compass.  It is a difficult place to exist, for it is a sparsely populated and oft disrespected region, but for the students who need it there is no place more important.  I am grateful every day for the existence of schools like Compass, and for all that I am learning about how to serve those schools and their students well.

My home.  I am not a person of place by heritage.  I have a very strong need to wander, to travel, to explore and this makes settling down an unnatural act--or, rather, it did until we moved into the Red House.  I've told many of you the story of how this came to be (the serendipitous nature of it is nothing short of mythical to me) and for all that I accepted that this was a thing meant to happen, I could never have imagined just how deep would be my commitment to this place.  I am discovering a sense of belonging that I've never really felt before.  A sense of exhalation.  Like I'm right where I'm supposed to be. 

My vast and diverse community.  I am honored to be connected in so many ways to so many people I love.  Some of these people I see fairly often.  Some I must be content to stalk on Facebook.  Wherever you are, though, I am blessed to know that you are part of my life.  Thank you for all you are and all you offer me and the rest of the world!

Quick Hit: The Power of the Nap

Thanks go to Karl for posting this on Facebook.  It seemed worthy of a blog mention. 

Read more at http://mashable.com/2012/08/17/office-nap-rooms/

Day 26: Favorite Foods

NOTE: I'm sorry for the abrupt disappearance. Several things have conspired to take my focus away from my online world this last week or more. I'll talk about some of them in a bit, but for now, I'd like to complete the challenge I started.

Gour•mand [gʊərˈmɑnd, ˈgʊərmənd] noun A person who is fond of good eating.

I would categorize myself as a person who likes good food--food that is made well, that tastes good and that fosters a love of life and people. It doesn't have to be complicated food, although surely gourmet cuisine has a place in my world. No, any dish, however simple or humble, that evokes a long, contented sigh is what I think a gourmand values most.

I honesstly couldn't write a post long enough to list every food that fits the definition of good that I hold true when I sit down at table, but here are a few examples to give you a sense of what I mean.

By category:

Breakfast: Corn Beef Hash, Biscuits and Gravy, Buttermilk Pancakes

Beverage: Coffee, Selzer, Good Merlot

Dessert: Pie (not citrus or with meringue), Crème Brûlée, Wifeness' Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Soup: Seafood Chowder, Squash Bisque, Homemade Chicken Noodle

Sandwich: A Thick Burger with Lettuce, Tomato, Pickle (and just a touch of ketchup and spicy mustard), A Bean Patty (done like the burger), turkey and swiss on toasted white

Pasta Sauce: Carbonara, Alle Vongole (white clam sauce), Garlic and Olive Oil

Pizza: Hawaiian; Sausage, Mushroom & Olive; Siciliano

Grillage: Salmon, Sausage, Perfectly Medium Rare Steak

Take-out: Boneless spare ribs, Kung Pao Chicken, Fried Rice

Context-Specific:

Spaghetti alla carbonara from the basement restaurant in the city of Civitavecchia (I've long since forgotten the name of the restaurant).  This was my first experience with proper Italian cuisine, ordered in Italian and enjoyed with a tableful of globetrekkers, including Mutti and Vati.

Rotisserie chicken and strawberries on the steps of Sacré Coeur at sunset with my French students on their first evening in France. I'll always remember the guy who came up to chat with us and the hilarious moment when the gendarmerie took to chasing the street vendors all around the churchyard.

Rice, beans, bread, eggs, tomato and ketchup--all mixed together. This rather unique concoction was the first food of any kind I'd eaten in 5 full days after having been completely incapacitated by the flu immediately after arriving in Brazil. I'd been holed up in a hotel for four of those days, but was running out of money and so I forced myself to get up, even though I was feverish and weak, and find an apartment. Fortunately, the guy who ran the desk at the hotel had a brother who managed an apartment building nearby and I was able to work the details out with a minimum of fuss and a little bit of black market exchange of American dollars. I secured my apartment, got the keys and moved my few things over from the hotel. Then I crashed and slept. When I woke up, the fever had broken, but I had only enough money and energy to go to the local grocers and buy those six things I listed. I was amazed to feel my mouth practically exploding with saliva as I put the rice on the stove. By the time I sat to eat I was shaking so badly that I actually had trouble getting the fork to my face. It ranks to this day as the best meal I've ever eaten.

Day 25: Where I Am, In the Moment

Take a moment to observe where you are. What's it like? What comes to mind when you look around you? What do you see? What do you hear? What do you smell? Even familiar places take on a whole new dimension when you actively take them in. Here's what my space is like.

I'm sitting in "my chair". It's a red reclining chair. Not a big, cushy Lay-Z-Boy monstrosity, but something smaller, more subtle. Currently, it sits in the dining room of the Yellow House, but soon it will be near the sunny windows of the Great Room at the Red House. It will be near Theo (our ficus tree) and he will shelter and shade me as I nap. It will be glorious.

In front of me is the dining room table. There are six chairs around it and on the table is an eclectic assortment of things: The girls' lava lamp, which needs a new bulb (the old one burnt out and then broke off when Wifeness tried to remove it), two sets of Magic® decks--one is SiSi's, one is mine, the tax folder from our accountant (we're getting money back) and the myriad candle holders, trivets and accents that normally decorate the space. The chandelier above the table has a bulb out. Sigh.

NiNi's sewing machine is on the small table to my right. Wifeness used it to put together a blanket for Baby Max, who was born just 4 weeks ago. We got to see him this past weekend, along with his parents. We brought food to make and to leave because when you have a newborn, having premade food is good. It was nice to spend the day with them! I think we all wished they lived closer.

There are other tables and sideboards around the room. Almost all of them have plants on them. Some have photos. There's one of Wifeness and me when she worked for Warner Brothers as Sylvester the Cat. There's one of Mutti and Vati and me. Our wedding photos are next to it. Some of the tables have candles on them. None are lit at the moment, but they often add just a touch of light and warmth to go with their various scents--vanilla, evergreen, lavender.

Our small Chinese lion puppet (we use it to celebrate Chinese New Year) sits on top of my hourglass, which is on the bookshelf that sits to my left. This bookshelf holds lots of cookbooks, but also all the Harry Potter novels, both in print and on CD. On the small dresser across the room is my wife's special teapot. I bought it for her as an anniversary gift several years ago. It encourages us to take time to sit, share and just spend time together. We don't use it nearly often enough.

There's a crock pot waiting to be put away and cat food waiting to be eaten. There are small piles of things on their way from one place to another. Our house is in constant motion, constant transition, and there is always something in the middle of some sort of change.

She's not in the room with me, but I can see Wifeness in the living room, working on her computer. I've sent her a text through Facebook, but I don't think she's seen it yet. It says something mushy. The girls are in bed; the house is quiet. Even the radiators are hushed. It's very tranquil.

This won't last, though.  The USA v MEX World Cup Qualifier is on at 10:30.  Boisterous is an understatement of what that game will be like.

Day 24: An Embarrassing Moment

Today's prompt asks to recount my most embarrassing moment.  Described below is one that certainly qualifies.  I preface this short story with the reminder that I'm colorblind and, as such, I don't pay a lot of attention to color. This is not an excuse; just an explanation.

When I was in college, I was dating a girl who lived several hours away. We used to send letters back and forth to each other (this was well before the days of email for the masses) and it was something I looked enjoyed immensely. I loved reading what she sent (her world was very different from mine) and I tried to write every day in return. I'd collect a couple of days' worth of writing and then send it off (postage wasn't cheap then, either). Most of what I wrote recounted the mundane details of college life, but I tried to be creative with it, to make it more interesting and entertaining to read.

In one of these letters, I waxed romantic and wrote her some verse. I'm not much of a poet, even today, but I remember being quite proud of it. In my best imitation of a Shakespearian sonnet, I likened her beauty to the radiance of the sun, her blue eyes to shimmering pools of water--you get the idea. A regular Don Juan was I to be so clever and original. Casanova himself would have been impressed. I sent it off, impatiently awaiting her next letter.

It came after several days, and I pulled it from the mailbox with anticipation. It was thinner than usual, but I didn't think much of it. I opened the envelope and inside the letter was an index card. On it, in her distinctive script, were two words:



They're green.

Day 23: Hobbies

One of the glorious things about having a job that is truly right for me is that I'm not compelled all that often to do things that take me away from it. When stress gets to be too much, I'll disconnect with some of the stuff in the last post, but that's not engaging in a hobby so much as engaging in decompression.

There are a few activities, however, that I like to do that don't having anything (direct) to do with school and that I very much enjoy when I have time to devote to them. Here are some of them.

Woodworking. I can make bookshelves, picnic tables, television cabinets, armoirs, doors. I've even made a small altar for my wife's side of the bed. I'm not a high level craftsman by any stretch of the imagination--that requires more time at a stretch that I can manage--but if I'm a guy who likes to work with tools, this is the way that happens.

Muppetry. Rita came to Wayfarer House by way of San Francisco many years ago, and I fell in love with puppetry from the first moment we met (for those of you who don't know, Rita is my precocious perennially 8 year-old red headed muppet--I don't have a pic of her handy, but I'm sure I'll find one to post soon). I love the performance piece of the art and am often sorry that she and the few others I have spend more time on the shelf than out with people. I really want to learn to make them someday! It requires knowledge I don't possess right now, though, and don't yet have time to acquire well.

Globetrekking. The adventure of deciding to go somewhere, planning how to get there, making the trip and exploring your destination is one of my all-time favorite activities. This one is especially great because my wife likes to do it, too--and it is so much more fun when she's with me. We travel very well together, and it's one of the great ways we bond as a pair. The move to the Red House is going to be our big adventure of this type for the next little while, but we've both thought it was about time to get back to Europe. We also need to get back out to Las Vegas to see chosen family and check on the Lohan School.

Writing. I spend an awful lot of time writing in professional ways and, while that's all well and good, it's not the same as sitting down and composing a good letter, a good story or the great American novel. My father wrote a lot after he retired. I'm thinking I won't wait that long, but given that I still struggle to keep a daily blog post active, it may not be this year that I begin such an undertaking. Laney and I talked some time ago about collaborating on a project involving her music and my writing. I think that would be the most amazing thing, and it's in my mind to keep nurturing that with her to see where it goes.

Sport. Soccer, volleyball, softball, disc golf, cycling... There's not enough of this in my world at present, and I'm hoping the world will be more conducive to it soon. I'm not talking about competitive sport--at least, not the cutthroat version of it. I'm very much a recreational sport kind of guy. I don't care who wins, as long as we're all running around and having fun with each other.

Day 22: When I'm Home Alone...

NOTE:  This was supposed to get posted yesterday, but I was at the Red House and there's no Internet up there yet.  There is, however, a great deal of spackle dust everywhere.  And snow.

[In pictures]

Every chance I get:

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Work calls, even on the weekends:



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There's always some of this to do:

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Every once in a while, this goes on:

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I know I should be doing this, though:

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Or this:

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Or this:

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Day 21: Collections

The prompt for today ask about what I collect. This is the thing that comes to mind:

This is what our dining room table often looks like. 
Image Credit

I've been playing Magic the Gathering® since about 1994, when Uncle Bubba and I encountered it in a gaming store in Las Vegas. We each bought a pack of cards and played it right there at the counter of the store (fortunately, the place was pretty empty and the guy who ran the place didn't mind). We bought some more cards, went home and proceeded to become addicted to it.

As a game, it's very well designed. It has an incredible amount of variability to it. Despite twenty years of playing it, I've never seen it get formulaic. It's simple to learn, but complex to play and you never feel like you've mastered it because you never encounter the same situation in any two games. It's also very individualistic. There are so many different styles of play and everybody plays their own!

Because it's a "collectible" card game, the cards themselves need to have some sort of lasting value and these do, but their true value to me is not in their investment potential. I don't keep them for their monetary value. I keep them to play with. My collection of them numbers some 10,000 now, and every single one of them is as playable now as they were when I bought them. Some of them are worth a few dollars, but I'm not interested in getting rid of them--especially if I have people to play against.

There has been a solid bunch of kids at school for the last several years who play Magic®. They meet in my room at lunch to play, trade and talk the game. I have to shoo them out at the end of lunch, so I can actually teach class. They asked me several years ago if we could have a tournament at school, so I organized one for them. It was a hit (seriously, there were 20 contestants)! Now, it's kind of an annual tradition. We do a different format every year, but they're all designed to allow anyone to play. I compete in them (that is the point, after all; to play). I've finished respectably every year, but I hardly dominate. That's the thing about this game. Even little kids can put together a deck that will kick you in the crotch.

I introduced SiSi to the game a couple of years ago. She started playing with a deck I made for her, then borrowed some of my cards to tweak what I built, then borrowed more cards to build her own deck. Now, she's buying her own stuff, building her own decks and trading with me and others to get cards she wants. She and I have taken to going to weekly tourney events at the local game store. She went at first with a friend of hers, but this was one of those things that she really wanted to share with her Papa so I've been joining in the last couple of weeks. I t's become an evening ritual to play a "Championship of the Universe" (the winner of a best-of-3 set) before bedtime.

As with many things in my life, my commitment to Magic ebbs and flows. Until very recently, the only time I played was at school during the tournament. Now that SiSi is active with it, I'm involved more than I probably should be with it. It can consume rather large chunks of time to design a deck and playtest it, and it's not something that really fits in well with all that I have going on at the moment. The thing is, though, that SiSi won't be able to go to tourneys as often after we're living at the Red House full time, so I want to support her as well as I can until then. I suspect that it won't be as important to her once we're there, after a while.

Day 20: Online Reading Material

When Google announced that it was letting go of Google Reader, there were several people in my world (Chili, Kizz, Wifeness) who bemoaned the loss. Personally, it didn't affect me a great deal, but I don't spend a great deal of time reading blogs.

It's not that I don't like to. I just do so much other reading that by the time I get to a place where I can sit down and consume something blog-like, I'm really only mentally able to attend to short bits like Facebook posts.

That said, there are a few online things that I check in on regularly. Some of these are blogs, but others are not of that format.

Chili's blog. She and I have been close for a great many years, but we're not in each other's geographic proximity all that often. Her blog helps me to feel like we're a little more closely connected. She posts every day, too, so there's always stuff to read.

Potash Hill. As an alum of Marlboro College, I used to get this magazine in my mailbox, but then it went online and I like it better there. I can peruse it in small moments more easily in digital form, and it cuts down on paper use which is good for my soul.

Fat Cyclist. Elden started his blog as part of a project to lose weight and improve his fitness. It's moved waaay beyond that now. He's an inspiration to riders everywhere!

Shambhala Sun Space. I look in on this space regularly to connect to my religious practice. It helps me to keep my outside-the-box thinking fresh.

ESPN (in all its various incarnations). I follow at a general level a whole lot of sport, and some of the best sports writing is found here.

LII at Cornell University Law School. I follow Supreme Court decisions with a large amount of fascination (I flirted for a long time about whether to pursue a career in law--I'm not sorry I didn't, but my interest in it hasn't diminished over the years). This site makes the law accessible to those of us who don't practice law, but like to keep our fingers in the jurisprudential pie.

What does your blogroll look like?  I wonder particularly if younger people spend time on spaces that aren't Facebook, Pinterest or the like.  Do you (if you're a member of that age group) read stuff online?  Do you keep a blog?  By all means, please share it! 

Day 19: 10 Things Tuesday: Self-Aggrandizement Edition

The prompt is to list 10 things that make me awesome. Here's what I think, but I'd be curious to hear what you think:

1. I know stuff. I'm not an expert on very much, but I have a pretty vast field of knowledge and I'm always looking for more to add to it. How many Leos have been pope? 23. How do you solve a determinant with a toilet paper roll? I can show you (it's actually kind of cool). What's the Immaculate Reception? Well, Franco Harris can tell you more, but he was there.

2. I have skills. Again, not expert on a lot, but I can do some pretty diverse things. I can assist in the birth of livestock. I can change the oil in my car or a toilet in the bathroom. I can make a sign and act on stage. I even know how to create an Excel spreadsheet to solve that determinant (in case I can't find a toilet paper roll).

3. I've been around. There are lots of places I still haven't had the pleasure of experiencing yet, but the world I've seen so far is pretty cool. I've been to castles in Europe and shanty towns in Mexico. I've frozen my butt off on the Presidentials and swatted mosquitos in a grass hut in the Amazon. I've ridden my bike in the Mojave desert and bought fresh fish in Sicily. I've even seen the World Cup (thanks to my wife)!

4. I've done things. In my professional life alone, I've worked in food service (which I highly recommend; it gives you a proper respect for the work), I've been a political activist, A customer service rep, an accountant, a graphic artist, a computer systems analyst, a camp counselor--and, when the occasion permits, I teach a little. 

5. I've got stories. The Raven in the Tree. The Goat That Conquered Electricity. The Day We Died. There are just so many! My students are still cracking up over The Treehouse Club (and using it to conjugate verbs, which proves that stories can have practical lessons, too).

6. I have charm. It runs in my side of the family. Ask my wife; she'll tell you all of the men on my side of the family have this not-quite-definable sense of charisma. It's fun to have, but ever must one be on guard not to turn to the dark side with it.

7. I can see the forest and the trees. I'm a big picture thinker, but I know enough about the details of getting things done that I can usually balance the two. I can draft bylaws for a non-profit, but remember to get them to Fedex by 5pm. I can plan a lesson on determinants, but adapt it to the learning styles of my students if they can't process math by toilet paper roll.

8. I am not afraid to go outside the box. Although I value what "the box" does, I very often find that it limits my choices. Why should I be only Democrat or Republican? Who says that religion and science are incompatible? Since when is there only one way to solve a determinant?

9. I've got a great support team. Seriously, no one is an island and I would not be anywhere near as amazing as I am without all the people in my world to help me. Wifeness stands at the front of this team, but there are a great many individuals who make things possible for me in ways I could not.

10. All this, and I'm not done yet. I still have lots to see and learn and do and experience! Can you imagine the stories in another 20 years?

Day 18: Fears

I do not like being afraid. Actually, I don't like being scared, either. What's the difference? Well, when I've been scared, some outside force has acted on me and has triggered my fight-or-flight response (it's usually "fight") and caused my adrenaline level to go sky high. I do not like how this makes me feel physically or emotionally and so I avoid situations where it might happen. When I was younger, most people knew not to lie in wait around dark corners for me. In one instance, someone learned not to do that at the expense of a black eye. I felt sorry about that. It took practice (see below), but I'm actually much better able to control that instinct now.

Being afraid is something completely different from being scared. Being afraid (anxious is a better word) is deeper, more personal. It is still the result of some outside stimulus, but in a much more subtle way. If being scared involves something I can sense, being afraid involves something I can't sense clearly.

Buddhist scholars say that fear (either version above, but especially being anxious) is essentially a consequence of our ignorance of the nature of reality, our holding on to something illusory. That sounds strange at first, but consider the kinds of things that cause that kind of fear--death, failure, the crumbling of our reality, being alone, ending up being nothing or nobody, just to name a very few. Although they may represent very real concepts, simply thinking about them does not mean they're real in that moment. Really, they're just distractions. I want things to be a certain kind of way, and all these possibilities I can't control are getting in the way of that.

When I allow fear to distract me, it can make things very uncomfortable. Have you ever experienced that underlying sense of not being settled, of not being secure? It's an almost existential feeling of uncertainty and instability, and it makes me, at least, more than a little anxious. I still find it ironic, but I've learned that I can't remove the distractions by creating distractions. Doing that does not actually relieve the feeling. In fact, it does the opposite and I've learned why.

See, when I do things to try to make myself unafraid, what I'm really doing is establishing my own sense of identity. I'm separating myself from what makes me afraid and, in doing that, I actually make it harder for me to examine it. Yet, if I'm going to move beyond it, I have to examine it—and me.

I learned some time ago that there is a process by which I could examine things that made me afraid. It involves a 3-step process:

Step 1: Develop a habit of self-observation. Examine my fear and dissect it into its components. Where does it start? What is the sensation when I feel afraid? What kind of thoughts race through my mind when I'm afraid or anxious? Is there a particular pattern to my actions? The point is to try to understand the experience, try to break it down into pieces.

Step 2: Practice recognizing triggers. When I can connect what it is that makes me feel a certain way, I can begin to deal with it. For example, when something keeps coming up in my world, it's a sign (and sometimes a not-so-subtle one) that I need to deal with it. I need to process it thoroughly and directly, to feel it and experience it, so I can let it go and go back to normal life.

Step 3: Practice seeing things before they come to pass. It's a lot harder to overcome being afraid when a situation is full-blown and I'm caught up in it. In my imagination, though, I can slow things down, and this allows me to practice reacting at my own pace. I can interrupt the match before it gets tossed into the proverbial pile of leaves. I can say, “I don't need to go there. I can see what’s coming.”

When I'm good at practicing this process, I can come to the point where I and my fear are not two independent things. It becomes "I and my fear" together. That way of looking at it gives me a feeling of empowerment, of real choice. It gives me a lot of room to move around in.

I practiced this a lot around the matter of being surprised and it helped a lot to quash the tendency to lash out reflexively. I'm actually rarely surprised any longer. It's taken longer to get to the place where roaches don't skeeve me out--and I'm not yet comfortable letting one rest on me. If I lived in a place where they were common, I'd spend more time on that one.

What's fear like for you?

Day 17: Where I Am Happiest...

I was at the Red House today. I'd been there since about noon, and had worked for the better part of the afternoon sanding, spackling and otherwise moving slowly, yet inexorably, forward with the prep work to get the rooms painted. Wifeness and the girls (accompanied by friends) came up separately, but left after a visit just long enough to apply paint samples. I'm feeling some pressure to get the house prepped by April break (it is my hope that lots of extra hands are available then, and we can get most of the interior of the house painted then), so I committed to working a little longer.

When I looked at my watch next, it said it was 4pm--about time to head downcountry. I would have liked to have more time to work, but as I put the lid on the spackle and unplugged the sander I realized that I probably wouldn't have been good for much more today. Although I am definitely on the upswing from having flirted with the plague that infected SiSi last week, I am not at 100% energy. Or maybe it was that I didn't take a nap. I have short-lived batteries, after all.

Anyway, I descended the stairs and turned into the living room to check on the wood stove. Through the glass on the door, I can see that flames were burning happily inside. Above, on the mantel, is a statue of Kuan Yin. She came to the house just after we closed on it, and her presence in the space has a tangible calming effect on me. I don't know about anyone else, but it feels somehow right that she is there.

I decide I've got a few minutes, so I drag one of the two chairs in the house into the warm, sunlit room and I place it in front of the stove. I go get my cup of water and I sit myself (somewhat heavily) in the chair. I'm sure a sigh escaped my lips because, in that moment, even though the house is empty of people and trappings, it felt a lot like I've always wanted home to feel. It felt the same way when Wifeness and I spent the night up there just before New Year's. It's felt the same way every time I've ever been there. That feeling of tranquil, of "you're supposed to be here". Like you don't really want to leave once you're there.

Where am I happiest?  I think any place that makes me feel like that certainly qualifies.

Day 16: The When and Why of Blogging

I started this blog back in 2006 (I cannot believe it's been 7 years) as an experiment at the behest of several people who said, "Dude, you should totally put that in a blog!" This was when blogs were more en vogue than they are now, and before Facebook became THE way to connect with people.

I admitted in the first post that I wasn't sure how well I'd do. I wasn't then--and still am not--especially good at taking the time to sit and do it. I seem to let the immediate things of the day take precedence over a lot that I should do more regularly, and blogging often falls victim to this tendency. It's been good for me to sit down and write, though, and I'm glad that I've kept up with it even as poorly as I have. It has a real value to me now as a format for telling stories, sharing a little of the life of Wayfarer House and crafting my writing in ways I wouldn't do otherwise.

I hoped that people would find this space an interesting read, and the feedback I get says that's the case. I'm glad! My dad used to write only for himself; he never cared if someone thought what he crafted had value or not. I'm not quite that way. I appreciate it when people get something out of what I create, whether it be via the written word or some other medium. Such things need to have value to somebody, I think.

In the time this blog has been running, I've posted a little over 450 times. A paltry amount, to say it true. I hope to double that in much less time. I also hope you'll keep reading and commenting about it.

Note:  After some intense vitamin consumption over the last few days, I think I've stopped the downward spiral toward full-on sick.  I still sound like Darth Vader, but I'm not feeling all that bad.  Whew!

Day 15: What is my biggest accomplishment?

*Note: I've shifted around my prompts a bit to accommodate for being really busy and kind of sick (some children who will remain nameless have given me their virus.)

ac•com•plish•ment/əˈkɒmplɪʃmənt/ noun

1. An act or instance of carrying into effect; fulfillment.

To date, I think this is my practice as an educator, but I don't see that as the finished product. The ultimate work, the masterpiece (I hope) will be the Community School.

2. Something done admirably or creditably.

My parents have told me that they were very proud of how I've grown up. I'll take credit of this on their behalf, but I recognize that they paved the way for me to become who I am. Despite not really having any idea what they were doing, they managed to raise children with a solid foundation of morals, a good sense of self and a drive to do well and right in all things. I had to make the choices, but they set me on the path.

3. Anything accomplished; deed; achievement.

I have two degrees, both of which are of my own design and have significance to my life on a daily basis. I earned them (and kicked ass in the process) because I was motivated to learn and grow, and because I knew they would have value to me for many, many years. I do not have my diplomas hanging on the wall, but they are representative of some very important, meaningful effort and I am proud of what they symbolize.

Day 14: What's on my iPod?

My mp3 player (which is not an iPod) has on it two things in quantity that, together, make up 98% of all that is stored on it:

Audio books and music from 1975-1995.

I used to keep a copy of A Few Good Men on it for when I was travelling, but I took it off because it's just so rare that I'm the one not driving.  Plus, I bring my laptop with me everywhere and that's got a bigger screen.

For those who are judging right now (oh, yes you are), let me make clear that the music stops at 1995 not because I don't like more recent music.  It's really that I'm too damn lazy to go find it, get it and download it. 

I'd love it if there were a service that did that!  You know, you just pay 49¢ a year or something (see, even my concept of money stops at 1995) and the computer would just download all the music you like onto your player automatically.  But--and this is the kicker--it would download ONLY the music you like.  No offense, Cyndi Lauper, but if I were to see you come up on shuffle, I'd be right put out. 

Such products exist, I have no doubt, for technology that is more cutting-edge than mine.  That's the proverbial rub.  See, I don't want to pay more than 49¢ a year for this service, and I don't want to pay what's required to get an iPiddity that is hooked to The Collective all the time.  To get a two-year contract just to have music at my beck and call would just be ridiculous (and I don't use a cell phone often enough to make up the difference).  I don't need to play Angry Birds that badly, either (anymore--dammit, but that game was addictive).

So, I'll just enjoy my old people music and wait for the time when it's worth it to make the jump to light speed.  Or I get a minion.  A tech savvy minion.  Who knows how to make decent coffee.  Mochas.  With the little leaf in the foam, like Cato does in Green Hornet. 

Actually, though, the vintage stuff has some real value.  For example, I have learned that it is a great motivator for my soccer team to play well.  If they don't, they have to listen to me belt out Kenny Rogers all the way home in the van.

"Oh, yooooooooouuuuuu, decorated my liiiiiiiiife!"

So good for my soul.

Day 13: No Regrets!

I found it interesting that when I did a search for songs titled similarly to this post, at least 13 popped up by different artists. Methinks perhaps they all protest too much.

In any event, this post is about my regrets--or rather, that I really don't think about the past in that way. I have always tried to live my life like it was a series of choices. I work really hard to be careful and considered in making my choices, and I think the result of this is that once the choice is made, I'm done pondering it. I don't really go back and visit it again (unless there's new information or circumstances change which warrant such action). Having said that, there are times when I wonder where a different choice might have taken me. For example...

I wonder what might have happened if I'd accepted that interpreting job for Cirque du Soleil. They wanted someone who was available around the clock, and I was teaching and building a graphic arts business at the time. I just didn't feel like it was worth my time to put that aside to work for what at the time was a little-known, out-on-the-edge entertainment.

I wonder where I'd be if I'd actually gone to Hawaii. I had applied to grad school at the University of Hawaii to study linguistics. I had been accepted and I only needed to finalize the money (they had a fellowship available that would have made it practically free to study there). Those of you who know me will understand when I say that if I had actually made it to Hawaii, I would never have come back stateside. It's the weather. And the beaches. And sure, Polynesian girls are nice, too. Is my wife reading this?

I wonder how things might have gone if I'd not applied for (and then received) the credit card with the $1,000 limit that was just enough for me to take an Amtrak tour around the country before I left for Hawaii--a trip during which Wifeness and I decided to see what might happen if we took our friendship of several years in a new direction. The deal Amtrak was offering at the time was a 30-day pass: You could go anywhere in the country they had tracks for a month, and you could stop up to 3 times. I chose to go to San Diego to see friends of mine for a couple of days, then head to New Orleans (I'd never been to New Orleans, and wanted to see it at a time when it wasn't in the throes of Mardi Gras). After that, it was up to New England. I hadn't been back East since I'd moved to Las Vegas, and I wanted to connect with people I missed. Wifeness was one such person. She and I had been corresponding regularly since I'd moved, and I was very much looking forward to seeing her again. The story of what led us to the place of moving past friendship is a story in itself, but if I hadn't made the trip it certainly never have come to pass as it did.

I wonder what my world view would be like if I had not chosen to study Buddhism. I didn't become exposed to Buddhism until I was in college and didn't study it with any sort of seriousness until I was in my twenties, but it has had an undeniable effect on me. I remember what my thinking was like when I was seriously investigating Christianity in my teens, and it was very different. Not better or worse; but different.

I wonder how small the world might be if I'd not chosen to travel as much as I did when I was younger, or if I'd chosen not to settle down and start a family. I don't get the chance to globetrek as much now as I did before the children arrived, but I still get itchy feet on a regular basis. Without having gone so far afield, though, I cannot imagine how many stories I would not have, how many special moments I would not have experienced and how many truly wonderful people I would not have met in my lifetime.

What, I wonder, do you wonder about?

Day 12: I miss...

Warm, sunny summer days and the freedom to fully and enthusiastically enjoy them. Sigh.

A long ride and a nap in the grass

Day 11: My Last Read

Well, it depends, I guess. If we're talking about the last book I actually read in print form (that is, I opened a book, read words printed on a page, reading from the beginning of the printed words until the end), you'll have to give me a minute to think.

The reason I'll need that minute is because I so rarely take the time to read by sight anything that is not directly related to my professional life, and most of that is research, journal articles or parts of books. All this is worthy material, but it's not the kind of pleasure reading I used to do. I enjoy reading; truly, I do, but there are not enough hours in the day currently to open books for fun. I have had to make technology work for me if I'm going to do it well.

A year ago, my old car stereo finally died. OK, the cassette player stopped working so I could no longer listen to my 80s mix tapes. Don't judge. When it came time for a replacement, I upgraded to something that would allow me to use my mp3 player because, somewhere along the line, I discovered that I could download audio books from the library and put them on my mp3 player.

I remember when I realized this was possible, and I imagine the feeling I experienced at the moment of this discovery must have been similar to prehistoric man at the moment it became clear that meat could be made to taste better when it was put over fire.

"You mean you can put the meat over the fire? And it tastes better?"

"Dude! Look at those juices! You don't get that from regular meat."

I have a 45 minute commute to school. One way. That's a long time in the car, and it's mostly by myself because it's hard to carpool with my schedule. I'm involved in lots of stuff at my school so I don't get to come and go at regular times. Some years ago I picked up a student who played soccer for me. That was nice! It meant he could do school and soccer, and I got someone to share really good conversation with. Then he graduated and that was that. Now it's just me.

This new radio is HD, but to tell the truth there's not a lot on the airwaves to keep my interest. I listen to NPR sometimes, but it seems like it's pledge week about once a month and I just don’t have the guilt fortitude to listen to them ask for money all the time. I listen to ESPN Radio on occasion, but that doesn't last very long because I don’t need to rehash the Celtics game for my entire drive to school. I've given up listening to pop radio.

With an mp3 jack, though, I can read (or, rather, listen to) all the books I wasn't having time to enjoy before. And not just read, but actually experience ALL of the words in them, not just the ones I chose to read in an effort to get through them more quickly.

Good audio books have readers who do voices, just like I would do if I were reading out loud. The quality of audio books for me is absolutely tied to the ability of the reader to do different voices. Just like when your dad used to read when you were a kid. If he did the voices, it was like the story was alive!

Anyway, now all of my pleasure reading is done via audiobook. I just finished The Good Earth, by Pearl S. Buck and I'm starting the 3rd Hunger Games book (the one where Dumbledore dies) because I just need to be done with the series so I can be all, "Did you read it?" to all my teenagers. After that, I'm on to At Play in the Fields of the Lord.

By the way, that book I had to take all this time to recall? It was The Unredeemed Captive: A Family Story from Early America (1995, John Putnam Demos). I read it in 2008. I liked it. I read all the words.

Quick Hit: Bring Out Your Dead

SiSi has fallen victim of the latest round of virus.  She's been home and running a fever pretty much constantly since last Thursday.  She wasn't out of the woods as of last night, so she stayed home from school.  Dr. Papa also stayed home, so she could be tended to. 

The carpool dropped NiNi off at the house at the end of the day, and Heather said that, out of the 22 kids in SiSi's 5th grade class, only 10 showed up today.  The rest are down for the count.  Yowza!

Day 10: Ma Routine Quotidienne

Today's prompt is about my daily routine. Like most people who live in northern climes, I have one that changes with the seasons, but there are several other things that affect what the day looks like. Like many teachers, my routine is subject to the ebb and flow of the school schedule. Add to that the adjustments necessary for things like soccer season, triathlon training, kid transport, conferences (mine and Wifeness') and other projects, and it's safe to say that the concept of a daily routine in my world is really only visible in its most basic, wireframe mode. Here's what that looks like:

The Waking Up Part: This is happening lately much later than it should for this time of year. Were I training (like I should be) I'd be up at 5am; during the last month I haven't been sleeping terribly well and I'm finding even the current 6:45 a struggle.

The Breakfast Part: This includes breakfast, coffee, shower, chivvying of children and a check of things like email, weather and social media. On days when I have to be at school early*, this all gets done by 7:30. If I don't have to be in until later, I'll sometimes linger over the coffee and the computer here at home so I can get quiet work done after everyone else is gone.

*My teaching schedule is a later shift; my classes run from 10-4 most days.

The Morning Part: When school is in session, this is all about planning, meetings and the business parts of my job. When it's not, I will often do domestic things like laundry or home repair and then set up for whatever activities are to take place in the afternoon. If I'm training and I can swim outside, this is the best time for it because there are very few boats out on the water.

The Lunch/Nap Part: During school, this time is replaced with The Do Everything Except Eat Lunch Part. I use this time as office hours, I run errands, I try to get meetings in, I write email... Everything but actually eat my lunch. There is, as you might expect, no nap, either.  Not that I'm bitter.

The Afternoon Part: During soccer season, this is all about soccer. During not-soccer season, I try to train (but not lately) and do stuff that leaves me free of professional obligations when I get home.

The Evening Part: The most scripted part of my day. Dinner, dishes, kid bedtime routine, my bedtime routine. Easy. If I'm able, I'll do creative stuff (like write a blog entry). If I'm devoid of creative energies, I'll just read, listen to music or watch something on a screen. Lately, I'm asleep before any of those three options gets too far.

What's your day like?