Walkers with the Dawn

I’m working to build a habit of getting up early to train, which means slogging out of bed at 5:15 to gather together my gear and get to the gym. It’s only the first week, but so far it hasn’t felt like torture. Actually, I’ve noticed I’m sleeping much better. I’m not lasting until 1am, but since that wasn’t terribly healthy anyway, I’m not truly sorry.

For as much as I like being up late, I enjoy seeing the sun rise even better. I know. I can hear the sounds of your groaning and eye rolling all the way over here, but there’s something special about that time of day that has always simultaneously put me at peace and charged my spirit. It’s quiet and peaceful then. The world is, for the most part, still at rest, and there is a tangible sense of the coziness and comfort of people still asleep. There’s a special smell, too, if that’s what you can call it. It’s not a smell, exactly, but you notice it when you take a slow, deep breath if you stand outside. It’s fresh, and full of potential!

I woke up this morning and grabbed my backpack, put my shoes on, shrugged into a jacket. I got to the gym right at 5:45--plenty of time to get a workout in, except for one thing. Today is Saturday, and the gym doesn’t open until 7am. Given that I was already up, dressed and in the mindset to do something, I went for a long walk. I could have made it a power walk or really tried to break a sweat but, honestly, that didn’t feel right. Instead, I just walked. I breathed in that special early morning air and watched as the night gave way to dawn. By the time I got back home, I’d been walking for 45 minutes and felt like I’d accomplished something, even if it wasn’t a gym workout.

Being walkers with the dawn and morning,
Walkers with the sun and morning,
We are not afraid of night,
Nor days of gloom,
Nor darkness--
Being walkers with the sun and morning.

-- Langston Hughes


How's your day? I hope well!

Some Goals for 2010

I realized, thanks to Kizz, that I didn’t publish any of this year’s goals. This is by no means the exhaustive list. It simply represents some of the highlights that, by virtue of putting out for public review, I will be held publicly accountable for completing.

Clean out and organize the basement, including the woodshop. This is no small task. A lot of what’s down there simply needs to be pulled out, examined (do we keep it vs. do we let it go), but there are some bigger organizational questions that need to be addressed. Where do the canned goods and supplies go? Do bikes stay downstairs in the summer? What about all the extra bikes (oh, yes, there are extras)? Does the potting and gardening stuff stay where it is? Do we keep the old electrical stove from the rental? The gas dryer from Las Vegas? It is my hope that all these questions will be answered during April, but I seriously doubt that it’ll happen in a single day. I’m going to be quite content if it’s dealt with in a week.

Creating and reviewing each month a clear and definable list of goals for the Community School project, a timeline for accomplishing every item on the list, and documenting each month the measurable progress on each item. The list currently includes the following:

– Learn about how to build a viable infrastructure for our school and the community it will serve.
– Create vision documents for the project as a whole (focused on the Community part first).
– Create the legal entities to support further work, including a property search.
– Establish guidelines for choosing co-founders and new members, including the principles of financial involvement in the project.
– Take training in the consensus decision-making model.

I intend to post this list on the Community School site, and updates to it will appear there. I’ll own that this is an ambitious list, but hell, it’s an ambitious project!

Get down to 170 lbs. I have 24 lbs. to go. I broke into the 170s by the end of August last year, but packed it right back on once school started. I have a plan working for keeping more active during the fall and winter that will, hopefully, lessen the effects of the next dark time. I’ll talk about it more in another post.


Make memory boxes for Soren and Nieve. When I was in preschool, my teachers helped me to make a scrapbook. I still have it. It’s green, and has plastic bindings that are designed to allow for more pages when the book gets full. It started as a simple craft project, as someplace to put samples of stuff I’d done and learned as a little kid. As I got older, I added pictures and other mementos from the places I’d visited and lived (my dad was in the navy, so we moved around a lot). Eventually, my scrapbook became the place where special artifacts went, especially if they chronicled something important, like an achievement, accomplishment or a journey completed. My diplomas are in it, as well as the first bib I wore for a competitive distance event (a century ride back in 1992). I think it’s important to be able to look back and remember what amazing things we’ve done, what journeys we’ve taken, what lessons we’ve learned. It’s an important part of the work of self-realization. My hope is that these boxes will continually remind my girls of their power and potential as well as give them a sacred place to preserve those special things that define their unique path through life.

Spend more time engaged in Buddhist practice. The thing is, I’m finding a lot of value in writing about it, so devoting time to doing it makes sense. I’m not going to get all religious here (I’ll proselytize about all manner of moral issues, but I keep my religion to myself). In fact, I rather appreciate looking at the tenets of my practice through a secular lens. I figure if it makes sense from a “real world” point of view, then it’s worth following. Writing for public consumption also helps me express my thoughts better (I hope--feel free to tell me that’s not the case)

Finalize my first- and second-year language curriculum--with units, new stories and more student-generated practices and projects. Much of the material I use now was developed during my time in graduate school, so it’s 3 years old. In that time, I’ve seen how it all works and, overall, I’m pleased with the results. There are a few things that need revising, however, and there are several units that need to be properly finished (I’ve been teaching from the outline, not from an actual finished product). I’d like to get all that stuff done. A couple of students have offered to help me with this project, and I’m excited to include them. They have a good sense for what works, what reads well and what, frankly, should be shredded and never heard from again. By involving them in the work, I’ll end up with an effective, but more student friendly product. I won’t get started until the late summer and it will likely carry over into 2011. I’m intending to ask for a sabbatical from our intercession to work on it.

I like to check in on my goals every couple of months. Last year I sucked at that. I hope that, by showing at least this part of the list to the world, I’ll do a better job of keeping them fresh in my mind. They’re what I want to do, after all.

Zero-dark-thirty, redux…

I’m going to say it right here: I have done nothing of worth in the way of training since last fall. Nothing. I'm also going to own that I can see quite clearly the consequences of this when I look in the mirror. Add to this the standard issues I have with weight gain and inactivity during the dark time, and it is inevitable that I should step on the scale and say, “Well, that didn’t take long.”

And so, for the second time since January, I am back on the horse (or bike, as the case may be) and working to reestablish the habit of daily exercise I need to shed some pounds and get back to some semblance of competitive fitness for the events I want to do this year. Today (as most days) will start at 5:15, so I have time to get up and get to the Y or get outside for a run. This gives me the time I need to get a workout in and still have adequate time to get stuff ready for school. During the afternoon or evening, I will add another workout such as a bike ride or weights (the bike training has to be done in the evening this time of year because the sound of the trainer carries down to the apartment, and we don’t want to disturb our wonderful tenant). Not every day will be double session, but most will be because I have ground to make up. I’ve eaten and slacked my way nearly out of my jeans! Sigh.

I’m seeing light at 6:30 now, which leaves me feeling like the dark time is nearly past. It’s not as cold in the mornings of late, either. Although there is now a coating of snow on the ground, it shouldn’t last but a couple of days. I’m looking for anything at this point to help raise my enthusiasm. I need as much inspiration and positive stimulation as I can manage. 5:15 is a little earlier in the morning than I’m used to.

Do you have to get back on the proverbial horse about something?

Just got back from the coast...

...and boy are my arms tired!

Actually, I did, in fact just get back from the coast. I went to the Matriarch's to collect the children. They'd been enjoying several days with Nana and Grampa. Wifeness and I also enjoyed their several days away, but we're glad to everyone back home now--for as long as it lasts; Karla leaves for Montreal tomorrow with Wheeler, and won't be back until Monday.

I left NH with the girls (the youngest ones) after a busy morning shoveling out the car and loading it with loot from the Chili household (thanks, Chili House!) and we pushed to get back to Wayfarer House before noon so I could run in, grab pre-arranged kid swimming stuff and birthday presents (thanks, Wifeness!) and head to a pool party for one of the girls' friends. Can I say that such events wear me out? I'm not sure why, but I can tell you that, by the time we truly walked in the door at 3pm, I was wiped.

I've been sluggish since (despite the hour-long nap I took), so I'm going to bed. I've got the kids all day, and I'm going to need some sleep if I'm going to be able to keep up with them!

Random Monday Meme

My brain is not functioning on all cylinders today, so I offer some randomness in the way of a meme. Enjoy!

1. Would you consider selling your soul to the devil if he made you a really, really good offer?

What could the devil offer me in exchange for my soul that I couldn’t obtain on my own, with time, practice and mindful attention? Whatever it is, I’m not sure I want it.

2. How often do you exercise?

Ugh. OK. Right now, not all that much. I’m supposed to be training for a triathlon in late May, but I’m having a hard time getting my jones up to do anything except hibernate. Spring’s coming soon, right? Normally, I do something almost every day for half an hour minimum. During the summer when I’m training, it will be at least twice that.

3. What would you do if someone painted your house lime green by mistake?

I have to be honest; I think my house is that color now.

4. What food will you never eat again for the rest of your life?

Watermelon. Ever since I was 6 and pissed off a wasp nest while eating it, I’ve never been able to tolerate even the smell of watermelon. My wife, bless her, disinfects the kitchen after she brings it into the house.

5. Would you ever drastically change your hair color? What about drastically change the style?

I won’t ever color my hair, and since my hair has done nothing but get shorter over the years, I suspect it won’t change stylistically all that much either. I really like my ultralow-maintenance hair.

6. You had a party and you need to clean up, but it’s late and you want to go to bed. When do you clean up?

This question comes up at our house with some regularity, and the answer is that things get cleaned up as well as they can be the night before. However, if there’s more than a dishwasher load, the rest will sit until the morning, when the dishwasher can be rerun.

7. Would you ever walk in front of an obstructed window (during the daytime) naked?

I don’t go out of my way to show it off, but I’ve got no fear that someone will see my nudidity. I don’t often think about whether the window is open if I’m near it during the day. In the evening, I notice it more.

8. What is your favorite meal of the day?

For variety, dinner can’t be beat. For its feeling of comfort, though, breakfast wins this award.

9. Could you give up the internet for a month?

Sure, I could! It’s a pain in the ass during school, but I don’t mind unplugging. In fact, I relish my time offline.

10. How much do you use your imagination on a regular basis?

I really do lead a rich internal life.

11. What is the craziest thing you heard over the weekend?

That John Mayer was hung out to dry because he used the n-word--not because he said it, but because he’s white. There’s a post in the works on this, as soon as I can figure out how to communicate my feelings about this issue properly.

12. What is the last thing you changed, and what is something you’ll never change?

I got a new cell phone yesterday. My other one was introduced to a snowbank back at Xmas and did not recover. The new one cost $10. I think I will never change my belief that people are inherently intelligent, powerful and capable, however often individuals may demonstrate to my too-judgmental mind the exact opposite.

The Week in Quotes

“Find F of Theta from Alpha to Beta…Don’t be a hatah, Use your calculatah…” (Spontaneous rapping in AP Calculus).

“‘My past’?? My past is not pure.” (During a recent game of Apples to Apples®).

“I feel so...endarkened.” (Karla, on her discovery of Goth reference works in the stacks at local library).

“That was the plow going by, preemptively.”

“We are very roudy students.” (A student in my mannerly and soft-spoken independent Latin study group, explaining why they were forced to change classrooms to make room for, of all things, a performance poetry class).

“$20 per session?” (the amount offered to me by a student desperate to see a roleplaying campaign at school during lunch. I declined.)

“What’s the only letter other than a C that has an ‘S’ sound?” “‘E’??” (A student destined to retake her oral exam in Spanish).

“I actually do know this, I’m just forgetting…” (A student ironically trying to remember the verb “oublier” which, in English, means “to forget”).

“Respect my pronunciation!” (The retort when I raised my eyebrows at the response "wzxthpth" to a vocabulary question).

“Does it matter if I don’t pay attention to the directions?” (From someone 20 minutes into this week’s exam).

“Wanna hear about my dream?” (The rhetorical question preceding a full five-minute recount of SiSi’s epic fantasy, told while Mama and Papa were in the bathroom trying to get ready for the day).

“You must believe in yourself when no one else does, like right now, for instance.” (From the movie Balls of Fury, watched on Thursday because I was not in the mindset to do anything productive, but there was seriously nothing else on).

Two Sentences…

The children are gone--for 3 days.

Wifeness will be home at noon.

Winning the Lottery

Today is Lottery Day at my school. Every year about this time, we take all the applications we’ve received from students who’ve been to the required meetings and demonstrated at “auditions” and do a random draw to fill the open slots for the upcoming school year. This is a big deal! There is a great deal of anticipation that surrounds the event, and prospective parents have already begun calling the school to find out when they might know if their child made it into the school. There are always more applicants than we have spaces, so there is much hand wringing about where on the waiting list someone falls. If they’re near the top, they might get called late in the summer. If they’re at the bottom (especially if they’re in 8th grade or higher), the odds are long that they’ll ever attend.

I’ve been part of the lottery for the last several years, and it truly is special experience! There are nervous parents, several staff, the two directors and a number of students in the room (we used to hold the draw in the office, but too many people attend it now, so we moved it to the theater), and there is always an air of excitement and eagerness. Students often pick the names out of a box, and after every one there’s applause and cheering.

“Yay! Elliot is coming to our school!”

“Horray, Elliot!”

“Woot!!”

“Congratulations!”

Seriously, is there any better way to know your at the right school?

The Blog Entry of the Century!

The snow storm of the century turned out to be a dud. We got 2 inches. Two. That’s it. Now, I’m not complaining about the amount. In fact, I’m really grateful that I’ve only had to break out my snowblower once all season. No, I’m bitter than my school was cancelled and I’m going to have to give up a day of my precious summer vacation because the news lives to sensationalize and my Executive Director felt pressure to act as he did because of superfluous attention by the local media on a storm that, however newsworthy for the mid-Atlantic, had the effect of needlessly scaring parents.

I’m railing about this because it’s come up repeatedly in the last little while. Scott Brown Win Referendum on Obama and Democrats. Toyota Recalls Lead to Lingering Questions. World Awaits Word on Tiger's Return. These are just three of the countless headlines that have appeared in print and over the airwaves in the last little in an attempt not to simply impart information, but to stun, surprise and shock us into paying attention to their version of it.

These stories, while based on fact, allow the public to make improper and misleading assumptions, which in turn cause people to react, rather than think critically about the kernels of fact and truth upon which the stories are supposedly built. For example, the news proclaims that the loss of Kennedy’s seat to a Republican says that the country is upset with Obama, and all of a sudden the country is stressed about the 2010 midterm elections. The media decries the state of Toyota’s safety record, and now the automaker is facing congressional inquiries. Tiger Woods is hounded, stalked and pressed to such a degree about his infidelity that he is forced into seclusion to gain any sense of peace for himself and his family. This last story is particularly egregious because it created collateral damage. Tiger Woods is a celebrity, but his family is not, and yet they must also bear the weight of the unending scrutiny and judgment that is commonplace now under our histrionic media’s system of story coverage.

I absolutely support the concept of the free press. I accept that, in a capitalist society, news is a commodity that must be made appealing if it is to sell. However, I challenge the stand that any methods to make a story appealing are acceptable, and I reject sensationalism as an appropriate method for making news valuable. I have much the same issue with advertising, too. I know many people were incensed about the ads that ran during the Super Bowl, and so did I, but for different reasons. Some were sexist, some promoted violence, some were political, but my problem with them is not with their content. I’ve got no interest in passing moral judgments, but I very much take exception to the motivation behind running them. National advertising has become a game of sensationalism; the product that can advertise in a way that amazes us, pushes the limits of taste in just the right way or creates drama will sell better. Sex is used in advertisements for precisely this reason. It is considered fair to do this because the rules don’t specifically say they can’t, and because all is fair when trying to make a dollar.

It is my belief that media, that corporations, that all entities carry the same responsibility that individuals do. I believe that all of us bear a duty to think about the effect of our words, and to act in a way that promotes harmony, not discord, encouragement, not distress, empowerment, not depression. Neither the first amendment nor economic survival supplant this obligation in my mind and all of us need to be held accountable for living up to it.

There. I’ve said my piece. I'll just get off my soapbox and brush the car off.

Blue and White

Winter caught up to me in a big way this week. I’d been doing fairly well combating the yearly seasonal depression, but I’ve lost some ground to it these last couple of days. It has helped that we’ve had a very low snow year; seeing green outside is uplifting, even when the skies are grey and the wind is stiff and bitter, but the cold has been frustrating. I have found it distressing this year to have to do things in the cold. The thought of going up to my unheated office to lift weights or ride shuts me down. I dread having to take the garbage outside. Even taking the laundry downstairs (which necessitates going out the back door) has required an internal conversation like Trinity has in Matrix.

“Get up, Trinity. Get up!”

Now the air is pregnant with a winter storm. You can feel the closeness and almost muffled nature of things that subtly but unmistakably announces the coming of snow. Perhaps, on some molecular level, I knew this was coming. Perhaps my psyche, which has managed to maintain a fragile equilibrium with the season, now realizes that it cannot maintain balance in the face of nature. Perhaps I’m just really ready for some sun, some warm and some quiet time in both.

Abe Vigoda is ALIVE!

No, really!! He’s been sighted.

There’s a long-running joke running around Wayfarer House about Abe Vigoda. Years ago, someone pointed us toward [THIS SITE], and we were all like, “Really?? He’s alive??” So, every so often we would check it and, sure enough, it says the same thing.

Abe Vigoda is [[ALIVE]]. (reload page for update)

I just love the up-to-the-second nature of that last bit!

Anyway, we at Wayfarer House have taken the site at its word, but we’ve often wondered just where he’s gone. After all, he’s 90 years old this year and he doesn’t get out all that much. Given that, we were simply giddy with excitement to see him during the Super Bowl in [THIS AD]! And as a bonus, we were treated to Betty White telling someone, “That’s not what your girlfriend said!” Easily the best of the Super Bowl commercials!

Good to see you, Abe! Don’t stay away too long.

[image credit]

Wayfarer House, Domestic Edition

It was a quiet day at home for us (except for Karla, who went out to see Avatar in OMG3D). Even a quiet day, however, has its share of things going on. Observe:

Wifeness made scones for breakfast. She really does make the awesomest scones!

I talked to my dad for an hour about an at-risk program for local students he wants to start. It’s very ambitious, and he’s working a little over his head pedagogically so I’m lending as much assistance as I can.

Wifeness did the grocery shopping.

The kids did homemade valentines for the kids in their classes. Wifeness helped them with the stamps and ribbon, and cut the cards. The girls decorated them and addressed them (the school conveniently provides them a list to ensure each child can receive one)

I folded 6--no kidding, SIX--baskets of laundry.

The kids put their portion of the laundry away. I do my best to sort it when I fold it, but I honestly have no idea who gets which underwear, so there’s always so shifting of piles.

I turned the kitchen around--dishes come out of the dishwasher, dishes go away, dishes go in the dishwasher, everything gets washed down and dried, kitchen equipment gets put back, other piles get moved around as necessary.

Wifeness tried to get some office work done. I have no idea if she was successful.

We undressed Theo (the resident house tree) of his holiday lights and ornaments. Yes, I know it's February.

We watched the Super Bowl. Congratulations, New Orleans! Laissez les bons temps rouler!

“No, you may not name the new fish ‘Ashface’.”

The title of today’s post, a response from Wifeness to SiSi’s proposal of moniker, easily tops the list of most interesting and entertaining quotes heard during the week in my world. Here are some others:

“It’s called ‘con-thingy!’” (in response to a question about conjugation.)

“I am a ninja, in case you haven't noticed. But of course you haven't noticed because I’m VERY good at being a ninja. YOU CAN'T SEE ME!”

“Can I go take a walk outside and study my vocab?” (by one of my students on Tuesday, when the wind chill was somewhere near 0°F.)

“I WON!” (heard by an upset winner in Friday’s first round of PVPA’s Magic® tournament.)

“Two.” (the answer to an inquiry about the number of brownies NiNi had already eaten before I noticed that she was reaching for one--with chocolate on her face.)

“It comes with handles!” (The expression of excitement from a colleague who discovered recently that Johnny Walker comes in a very large container.)

“Yeah! First, I'll give them the super stink eye until they freeze with fear and quake in their boots!! Then I'll kick them in the stomach so they can't hold their rum!! Then I'll rig up a booby trap so that when I kick the pirates into it they'll overturn more barrels of rum that will fall into their mouths!! Then when they are so drunk they can't think straight I'll make them stare at the ocean until they get seasick (we are on a boat, right?). Then I'll send them to Alcoholics Anonymous and make them repeat ‘just say no’ until they cure their addiction and make them wish they never tried to steal my mac and cheese and fudge!” (A commentary on the possibility that pirates might try to steal Joanna’s food, and how she might prevent such an occurrence.)

“hablabablabablabla.” (a student enjoying the linguistic diversion of the word “hablaba” in Spanish.)

“I have nothing to say.” (The statement of a member of my school’s board of trustees, after one of the 30 people in the audience rebuked him politely but publicly for his heavy-handed treatment of one of the student representatives during last month’s meeting.)

“---” (The response of my class when I asked them to pronounce the verb ending “-ent” during French class. They were correct.)

“Hello. This is [8-year old child]. Please hold for my mom…” (the beginning of a phone conversation about an upcoming sleepover.)

“I’ve figured out that basically it doesn’t matter what question they ask me (on the MCAS test), I can write my response using Harry Potter.”

“I am NOT being eaten by bitterness, thank you very much. But you know what else is sort of bitter? Dark chocolate... just saying.” (From a student who feels that I put Spanish higher on the priority list that French, but whose opinions on the subject can apparently be bought.)

“That's seriously YOUR leg??” (My own expression of disbelief at seeing the following photograph on the Facebook of one of my alumnae.)



Happy Sunday, everyone!

Do you have anything to eat?

This question is probably the one most heard around my school in an average day. Grownups and kids alike hear this request constantly, and everyone knows that food is among the most valuable currencies one can have here. I, personally, am asked this question at least half a dozen times during the day. This is ironic since, although I often have food in my classroom to share, it is rarely something students find adequate to assuage their seemingly ever-present hunger.

Given that teenagers around my school are so constantly looking for food, it may be safely assumed that they’re not getting enough to eat. Is this a problem? I think so. Research shows that teenagers need a diet of between 2,200 and 2,800 calories per day. This is far greater than the 1,600 to 2,000 calories adults need, and the timing of these calories has been shown to be important. Breakfast, for example, is widely recognized to be essential to children’s performance in school. Simply put (and obvious to those of us who teach), teenagers who skip breakfast have more trouble concentrating and do not perform as well. Skipping breakfast in childhood and adolescence may also be a cause for health problems such as obesity and heart disease later.

But what to do? Institutionally, we’re kind of limited, although we have some things we can do. My school doesn’t have a cafeteria; the kids brown bag it, although we do have a free/reduced lunch offering for those who qualify which is sponsored by a neighboring district. We have vending machines that are fairly reasonable in price, but the offerings are not all what one might call healthy. We’ve managed to negotiate for a decent offering of decent foods, including sandwiches, but there is still far more junk in them than is good. We communicate to parents the importance of making sure their children eat breakfast and that they bring enough food to last through their very long day (these guys are in school from 8:30 – 4:15). We have even set aside money to buy extra free snacks so the kids can come and ask for them, if they need them. They just come and ask at the office (politely,and with good grammar), and we feed them.

It’s not enough. The students come into school at 8:30 and you can tell the ones that haven’t eaten. They’re sluggish, groggy and have little to no attention span. You can also tell the ones who’ve tried to make up for a lack of breakfast with caffeine. They’re all kinds of giddy when they come in the door but, by mid-morning break at 10:15, they’re dragging their caffeine crashed asses around like they’ll never be able to think again. The kids go up and down like this all day and, as you might expect, it has a tangible effect on their ability to be the best students they can be.

As I was lamenting yesterday that I didn’t have any granola bars for the last of the students to come entreating for victuals, I wondered if someone else might have more ideas about how to address this problem than I did. So, I went to see the school nurses. I brought up my ponderings to them and, bless them, they bounced this idea back and forth with me for a full 45 minutes. We didn’t come to any better solutions in the short term than what we already have in place, but we did agree to explore a couple of new things--new ways to talk to parents and teenagers about eating good food from breakfast throughout the day, the possibility of doing free/reduced breakfast as well as lunch, more and better food in vending machines, talking to the student organizers of the co-op (isn’t it cool that we have a student-organized co-op?) about quality offerings, even what else we might spend money on in the way of food to just hand out.

Ultimately, yes, the issue is one that largely rests outside the realm of the school. As a school, we could simply sit back and say it isn’t our problem. We could wait for someone else to step up and offer some solutions. I’m not saying that the school, or myself individually, can or should take choice or responsibility away from the people it’s supposed to rest with. I’m saying that if we can contribute to the solution, then why shouldn’t we do that? It’s in our best interest, and in the interest of the kids we serve.

I've got 10 minutes...

I don’t have a big post in me today. In fact, I have ten minutes before I need to get up and do stuff. I just want to keep the habit in place. Here’s the latest…

I had two meetings yesterday about culling students from my classes that weren’t thriving. They were supposed to have made some progress over the intercession to close the gap between what they can do and what they need to be able to do. They didn’t, and it’s not worth their time to sit in a class they’ll just fall farther and farther behind in as the semester goes on.

I had two discussions yesterday with students directly about what I and they can do to help them succeed. I’m hoping to avoid culling them.

I had a meeting with one of my administrators about my homework support class, and how some of them are simply taking up space--while at the same time making it hard for me to actually support the others in the group. Why are you at the school, if all you’re going to do is take up space?

I finished reviewing the 19 deck lists for the Magic: The Gathering® tournament at school, which starts tomorrow. I needed to look them over to make sure I knew how to adjudicate all the cards. I was surprised how many there were! Apparently, I haven’t played the game in a while.

I’m doing this week’s exams on the fly. I got them started on Wednesday, but there was no way I was going to finish them last night. It's a pain to do them this way, but it's functional. I'm ok with functional right now.

I need to call the refinance guy tomorrow to find out what’s going on. This has drug on for a month, and I need to get closure so I can focus on other stuff!

When am I going to get to work out next?? Maybe after some sleep…

Drugs, Angst and Drama

It happens every once in a while at my school that the stars align just so and all manner of craziness comes out of the woodwork. Such a day was yesterday. There’s not a lot of it that I can talk in specifics about--for reasons that the title probably makes clear--but I can say unequivocally that, although none of what I was involved in was truly debilitating, damaging or bizarre, it was more than I could easily handle in a single day, coming as it did one occurrence, one student, one situation at a time.

My heart goes out to each of the students who came seeking counsel and support. I’m there for you, and honored and humbled to be part of your lives.

I’m hoping tomorrow goes better. For all of us!

In the news...

My interest in the news and current events comes and goes according to my ability to manage the rest of my world, but also according to what’s actually being discussed. Right now, I’m getting there happens to be a lot out there that I’m finding intriguing. Here’s a sampling:

1. (From NPR) Why Does Time Fly By As You Get Older? You can read and listen to the story [HERE]. This story fascinated me because it’s something I’ve noticed just recently. The holiday season passed so quickly this year, and the summers seem to get shorter and shorter. Why is that? This story explores the topic.

2. (From Fresh Air) 'The Quants': It Pays To Know Your Wall Street Math. You can play it [HERE] (scroll down a bit). This story appeals to the math geek in me, but also opened up an entirely new discussion on the recent financial meltdown.

3. (From talk radio originally) Obama Reverses Abortion-Funds Policy. You can read generally about the story [HERE]. This story is a rare example of how news can actually cause me stress.

4. (From NPR) Abstinence Message Gets Through To Teens. The story is [HERE]. Together with #3, this story ignited a long-smoldering internal debate about the issue of reproductive rights and responsibilities. I’m not going to go into it here, but perhaps soon. I need to organize my thoughts about it first.

5. (From the web) Abby Sunderland Aims For Round-The-World Record. I picked the story up originally [HERE], and it intrigued me not just because it’s totally the kind of adventure *I* would go on, but because of the controversy it generated due to Abby’s age. I’m following her quest on her blog [HERE].

6. (From The World) Charlotte Gainsbourg. This story would be interesting to you if you’re a Francophile or listen to alternative music. I’m far more the former than the latter, but I enjoyed listening to how the daughter of a French musical legend struggles to deal with her father’s legacy. You can download the interview [HERE].

What from the news touched your heart and/or mind recently?

February 2nd, in Haiku...

Crisp winter morning
Navigating icy paths
Wishing it were spring.









credit

Spring Semester’s First Discourse

“OK, class. Good morning and welcome back to actual class. You’ve been away for the last three weeks doing fabulous intercession activities like rock climbing, community service and children’s theater. During this time, you were asked to spend 15-30 minutes a day in practice and review of the language you’re studying. By show of hands--and be honest--how many of you actually did this?”

[uncomfortable silence… Then, a half-hearted complaint.]
“Yes, I know I was the only teacher who gave you work over Paideia, but if you’ll remember correctly, I told you that it was a necessary thing. Without the continued habit of daily practice in place, you’re going to have issues keeping up with the faster, more complicated stuff we’re going to see this semester.”

[sniveling…]

“Look, you guys want to be able to do fun stuff, right? You like it when you can really play with the language, don’t you?”

[grudging agreement…]

“You like it when we play. I like it when we play but, if we’re gonna do that, we gotta have stuff to play with and you need to know what to do with it. Make sense?”

[more grudging agreement…]

“All right, so what are you gonna do this week?”

[collective sigh of resignation…]

That’s what I’m sayin’. Dig out your packets…

It’s a dangerous (cyber)world out there...

I spent the morning up at Bessie’s helping her to reset her computer after a malicious virus attack. For her, the fix was straightforward, but I thought I’d take just a minute to share some recommendations on safe computing practices. Those of you with Macs will find some of these don’t apply to you.

Keep your operating system up-to-date. This does not mean jumping from, say, XP to Windows 7 (this is considered a major operation, and should not be undertaken without consultation), but it does mean making sure that you have the most recent version of the OS you have. If it’s XP, it should be Service Pack 3 (May 6, 2008). If it’s Vista, it’s SP2 (May 26, 2009). For other versions, see [HERE]. If you use a non-standard OS like Linux, I suspect you know already where to look. I don’t know that this is necessary for Mac users.

Make sure your computer’s firewall is turned on. Do not buy it flowers or give it romantic compliments. Instead, click [HERE] for a handy fix-it tool for Win XP or [HERE] for one for Vista. There’s a switch in Windows 7 under the Control Panel. I don’t know how to do it in any other OS, but if you need help, ask. I’m sure I can figure it out.

Install and regularly update antivirus software. I use AVG Free (download [HERE]) together with SpyBot: Search and Destroy (available from their site [HERE]). Both are free and, together, to an excellent job of keeping my system free of adware, spyware and viruses. I have a routine of updating them and running checks once a week (I set them to run in the middle of the night on the weekends, while I’m asleep). How you set your own software up is entirely a matter of personal preference, but if you don’t have it, you run the risk of infecting your machine--and everyone else’s--every time you connect to the Internet or download or copy a file from outside your system.

Use safe email and data security practices. Immediately delete any email you know to be fraudulent, or that has attachments you don’t recognize. Especially, do not click to open any attachments unless you are absolutely certain both of the source and the content of the message. Think before you share information you receive via email from unfamiliar sources (you guys with Macs are responsible for keeping people safe, too). Log out of networked computers when you’re done. Enable password protections (and keep the passwords secure). Do not use unsecure WiFi networks if you bank, buy or send private information over the web. Safeguard your personal information!

Be safe, be careful, be responsible. Help others to be the same.

Blue Lights and Cell Phones

I was sitting at a traffic light on my way to school yesterday when a member of the local constabulary passed by in a cruiser. He had his blue lights on, but was driving at the speed limit, and he had his cell phone pressed to his ear.

Massachusetts has pending a law that makes it a ticketable offense to talk on a cell phone while driving, and it also has pending a law prohibiting texting. I mention this not to pass judgment on the officer for doing something that research has shown is dangerous. He may have had perfectly valid reasons for doing so, and the fact that I don’t know them doesn’t mean they don’t exist. I bring it to light to demonstrate that, despite the fact that we all hear regularly of the dangers of driving while we’re distracted, we all--even those who are expected to model safe behavior--continue to engage in the practice.

Why?

I propose the following as reasons why we might do so, even when we know the risks:

1. We are habituated to answering our phone when it rings. So habituated, in fact, that it is instinctual in many cases for us to reach for it.

2. We believe that there are times when we don’t need to pay close attention to our driving, such as when we’re on the highway in light traffic or at a stop light, and that these times are more common than those when we must pay full attention behind the wheel.

3. We find it irritating/impractical/time consuming to pull over or find some other completely safe means of using the phone.

4. We believe there are times when the need to communicate takes a higher priority than the need to engage is completely safe driving practice.

If we accept these reasons as real (whether or not there are others), is it reasonable to expect that passing legislation prohibiting the use of cell phones or other distracting behavior is going to change the likelihood that it’s going to happen?

What keeps you busy...

Life at Wayfarer House is always busy. People are coming and going, playing and working, learning and sharing all the time here. We all have stuff we’re working on. Some of it is collaborative, some of it is individual, but all of it is important and valuable.

I have a fair share of irons in the proverbial fire right now, myself. Several are continuations of projects from last year’s list, but there are a few that are fairly new and in their beginning stages. Here’s a selective list:

I’m developing a joint service learning project on the Dominican Republic and Haiti. My second-year students do a unit on this part of the world (the French kids get Haiti; the Spanish kids get the DR) that is focused on exposing them to the daily life and experience of the people there. This year, I’m trying to tie it into a story they read about a girl who realizes just how much she has as an American, with the goal of getting them to examine what they have and think critically about what, if anything, they can do to help those less fortunate. This year, one of my colleagues has been reading Before We Were Free, by Julia Alvarez, with her class. We both thought it would be fantastic if we could collaborate on something that brought our disparate classes together to share what they’re learning and organize something to help those countries.

I’m writing new stories for my first-year language classes. For the last several years, I’ve been using books by Blaine Ray (of TPRS fame, for those of you who might know what that is) as a jumping off point to practice the language they’re studying. I use them because they’re essentially the same between both French and Spanish, which is important to me because it’s very helpful to have the same curriculum for both languages. Anyway, the stories irritate the bejeezus out of the kids. They complain incessantly about the subject matter of them, and have asked me repeatedly if they can work with something different. Last year, I got some of my Spanish students to write stories themselves but, although they were incredibly creative and well-written, they weren’t versatile enough for me to use in French classes. I’m incorporating some of their suggestions and, with their feedback, I’m writing 10 small chapters for next year’s language students to play with over the course of the year.

I’m doing background for a paper linking Howard Gardner’s theory of multiple learning styles and the Five Basic Needs proposed by William Glasser’s Choice Theory. Teachers often have impressions of their students that are bound in certain (often mistaken) assumptions about what they’re capable of doing. In some cases, teachers assume that students aren’t capable of learning. In others, they assume that students should already be able to do things when they arrive at the classroom. At least in part, teachers make these assumptions because they do not have a full picture of their students as individuals. They often know nothing about them except what we see in class, and they’re discouraged from trying to learn more about them because, in the view of many, it crosses an imagined boundary of professionalism. In trying to link these two thoughts together, I’m exploring how teachers might effectively learn about their students as people and, through that, make accurate determinations about what they can do so they can support them well in learning efficiently, effectively and effortlessly.

I’m planning a bike trip to the Northeast Kingdom. The Morrison Family Reunion (part of Wifeness’ family) is held every year, the second Sunday in August. This year, it’s taking place in northern Vermont, right on the Canadian border. It’s beautiful up there, and it presents a wonderful opportunity for me to do a long bike trip. I did 400 miles to Lock Haven, PA back in 2006 to pick up my Master’s degree, but I haven’t been able to put a trip together since. A trip to Halifax, Nova Scotia in ’08 (650 miles) got scrapped for financial reasons. This trip will be about 250 miles right up the middle of the Green Mountains--an exciting challenge! I expect it to be a 3-day trip, but I might challenge myself to do it in two.

I’m organizing and hosting a Magic: The Gathering® tournament for the kids at my school. There is a solid following for this game at my school. The idea for a tournament came from a discussion I was having with some of the upperclassmen in my world, who thought it would be cool if we had something at school for the students who were competitive in just that geeky sort of way. This is my gift to them. Twenty students signed up, and they’ve been working feverishly for the last month to design singleton decks that are creative and deadly. They’ll meet most Fridays in February and March for an hour to pit their deck making skills against those of their peers. The winner gets school merchandise.

I’m training for at least two tri events and a ½ marathon. One of the tri events I want to do is in late May, so I have some work to do to take off winter weight and get my fitness up to standard. It’s proving to be tough; I’m having a hard time getting into a regular training schedule right now. I’m struggling to be patient with the weather and the training process.

I’m blogging again. I’ve been getting messages from the universe that I need to reach out to the people in my world and start having discussions and getting feedback from them. Here is where I get to put ideas out for general consumption, so I’m willing myself to stay focused on the habit of writing every day. You’d think it’d be easier than it’s been. I mean, it’s not like I don’t have enough to write about!

What have you got going on?

Dusting Off a Blog...

I took the day off from school today. It was the last day of Paideia (my school’s intercession), but nearly all my students were off on a bowling trip, so there wasn’t much to do professionally. There has been rather a lot to do personally, however, and it seemed a good opportunity to take the time to shave some items off the list.

One of the things I’ve needed to do for a while (apart from dust this blog off) is review the year and make adjustments to goals. I haven’t done this since September, and my brain is rather off-kilter for delaying so long. I have learned that I don’t do well without a clear sense of purpose. I can ad lib life for a while, but there inevitably comes a point where I lose my ability to see the bigger picture and act with intention. I’ve been at that point for far longer than is healthy for my psyche.

So, today, I devoted some time to assess what I’ve accomplished, what’s in the works and what I should be looking to—a sort of State of the Wayfarer, if you will. I’m not in the mood to write a whole speech, but I’m perfectly willing to share the highlights. Here’s some of the list:

I competed in two triathlons. Although I would not declare my training season a true success, I was able to improve well on last year’s intermediate distance times (well, the bike and run legs, anyway). I also learned that there are times that I have a predictable difficulty being productive—June (the end of school) and from late October through the holiday season. Winter as a whole has proven to be a real kick in the crotch, but the holiday season, with its busy schedule and higher than normal school stress, seems to be a particularly tough time.

I completed MELA-O certification. Federal and state laws require that students with limited English skills be assessed annually to measure their proficiency in reading, writing, listening, and speaking English. My own political views on this issue aside, I pursued the opportunity to gain this certification for two reasons:

1. It provides an opportunity to subtly share my knowledge of learning styles and foreign language teaching methodologies with other departments. There is a real dearth of training for teachers in pedagogy—that is, how to effectively help students learn. I’ve spent a lot of time in this area of teaching practice, and I think a lot of the methodologies commonly used in foreign language classrooms have solid applicability to other disciplines.

2. It allows me to support ESL students in all their classes, not just mine. ESL students are held to the same standards as native speakers, but without an understanding of their particular challenges, teachers would (however unintentionally) cause them to suffer for something that’s not their fault. I can advocate for them better, and with more awareness, if I’m part of what goes on in their other classes.

I developed an RPG system. This would, I suppose, seem a dubious addition to any list of accomplishments on the nerd factor alone, but this was not a simple undertaking. I spent several weeks on statistics research, read a small mountain of books on the subject of RPG development and reviewed at least a dozen different published systems in preparation to create what, at its most basic, is only 10 pages of text. Hell, the actual core system is only 3 of those. It’s been playtested by grownups and teenagers, and I’m quite proud of how it has performed.

I built, then turned my back on, my school’s competitive athletics program. I created the program 7 years ago and built it from a single co-ed soccer team with just 12 players to a championship winning program with 3 sports. I was proud of not just the program, but the league I helped found to support its continued growth. A change in administration 3 years ago caused support for the project to erode steadily, to the point where I was spending more time fighting with the school’s education director than I was actually doing my job. I made a stand. I told the Executive Director that he was either going to support the project tangibly, or I was going to stop working on it. I put a lot of time and energy into the program because I felt it was important (for both me and the students), but I was not going to protect it at the expense of my full-time job, especially if all it was going to do is piss me off. He waffled (for reasons I wouldn’t find out until later, he wasn’t politically able to stick his neck out for the program even though he wanted to). I took that for the sign that it was and handed in my resignation. Make no mistake, I remain incredibly sad over this. It makes me depressed every time I think about it. I list it here because it was something wonderful when I left it, but also because I stood by a principle I believe in very strongly: You have the right to make your own choices. The administration made its choice; I made mine.

Next time, I’ll talk about some of the many irons in the fire here at Wayfarer House. Till then, I’m going to bask in the glow of one more accomplishment--the first blog post in almost four months!

15 Books, with Commentary (because I wanted to...)

I got tagged in Facebook to list the first 15 books that will always stick with me. Since I haven't posted here in forever, I thought I'd add it just in case people are actually still checking in. I'm still working on replies to the last post. Maybe once school starts...

In the order in which they came to me:

1. Foucoult’s Pendulum (in Italian), by Umberto Eco. It was my first major interlingual literary conquest and it was a serious bitch to read! I had no idea it would be so time consuming, but I was too stubborn to walk away from it.

2. Lord of the Flies, by William Golding. I read this book for fun when I was in 9th grade. It was my first exposure to how easily manipulated people can be by fear, and that it does not matter most of the time what’s wise or just.

3. Invisible Man, by Ralph Ellison. I picked this book up by mistake, thinking it was the H.G. Wells book. I loved it, even if it wasn’t what I intended to read.

4. House of Sand and Fog, by Andre Dubus. This book moved me in so many unexpected ways. It scared me to think of how simple acts of inaction and inflexibility can send us spiraling out of control.

5. Bicycles North! A Mystery on Wheels, by Rita Ritchie. This book came to me when I was 9 years old, and it cemented completely my desire to be a distance cyclist. At that time I was already riding around the neighborhood on my single speed with the banana seat, but after reading this book, I had dreams of going much, much farther.

6. Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom, by William Glasser. Glasser’s theories about the role of connectedness in relationships replaces external control psychology and puts into different (and much better) wording what I’ve been feeling all along about how to satisfy out own needs without sacrificing those of anyone else.

7. The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkein. It was not the easiest book to read, but the story was wonderfully deep and it hooked me on fantasy as a genre of literature, both to read and to write.

8. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee. I was thoroughly enchanted by Scout, and by the humanity with which Lee weaves this story. I don’t know how many teenagers today would identify with it today, but it really spoke to me when I read it in high school.

9. The Grapes of Wrath, by John Steinbeck. I remember someone telling me that they couldn’t stand this book because it didn’t go anywhere. “There’s a whole chapter with nothing but a turtle crossing the road!” they said. I found that same chapter to have incredible meaning, and the story as a whole (the ending, in particular) touched me very, very deeply.

10. The Buddhist I Ching, by Thomas Cleary. Not as much for its content (although I also find it a rich and wonderful resource), I list this book because of the amount of inspiration I get from the author. A translator of works from eight languages into English, Cleary’s approach to translation seeks to make clear not just words, but intention, meaning and purpose. As someone who studies languages and values good communication, I draw a great deal of encouragement from Cleary’s work because it reminds me constantly of how powerful language is.

11. Dune, by Frank Herbert. Paul Atreides’ journey of self-discovery and acceptance of his place and power in the universe really connected with me. This is one of the few books I’ve read more than once.

12. Among Schoolchildren, by Tracy Kidder. It didn’t connect with me at the time I read this book initially in college, but Mrs. Zajac, the focus of this experiential biography, taught near where I do now. I can relate much more to what she went through now because I can see the city where her kids come from. This book helped me to realize the day-to-day truth of what teaching is. It helped to confirm for me that I would still be in love with my career choice years later.

13. Catch-22, by Joseph Heller. The colossal inanity of the things Heller writes about are nestled in fiction, but if you look at the world through my eyes there’s not much difference between his fiction and reality. Knowing someone else sees the same things was refreshing!

14. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams. The humour of this book is entirely British in flavour, and I louved it! I bring a towel with me whenever I travel!

15. The Old Man and the Sea, by Earnest Hemingway. I was introduced to Hemingway and his style of writing when I was in college (thanks, Jonothan!), and this story is in many ways the one I’ve drawn the most inspiration from. It’s not long and there’s very little action (by the standards we use today), but Santiago’s ultimately hollow victory against the fish is poignant in ways I’m only just beginning to understand now. I aspire to be able to communicate as well in as few words.

Pushing Through

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. Lots of little stuff mostly. Seems like whenever I sit down to put it into words, it seems daunting and, since I’m already tired when I get to it, I decide the required effort is just too great. Today, I’m going to push through that. In no particular order, then...

Karla and I went to the Community College today to meet with the financial aid guru. We’re trying to get her declared independent so she can qualify for enough grant aid to take classes. The meeting went very well. Dennis listened to Karla’s story and was quite confident that, with a modicum of documentation, she would meet the criteria for a dependency override. The thing that struck me about this meeting, though, was how nervous she was and, more importantly, her response to my observation of that fact. I suspect I’m going to put her on the defensive by even writing about it here (and I’m sorry if that’s the case), but I was so surprised to hear her deny it that I was left to wonder how many other people in the world do the same thing. I know of several people who suffer from varying degrees of anxiety disorders. They are seemingly flung all over the place by their unsupported fears, terrified, out of control, and feeling powerless. Yet, I have come to understand that one always has a choice about how to respond to and deal with fears. If we would move past them, we have several choices: We can cave into them, struggle with them, accept them, or work around them. Whichever decision we make, we always have the choice and we make it over and over again throughout our lives, and it is important to understand that we are not bound to make the same choice forever. We have the capacity to deal with our fears any way we choose. I find the choice to deny that they exist an odd one for the simple reason that doing so inhibits us from moving past them. Perhaps this is a separate post on its own…

Lots of my alumni have been in touch recently, and it is good to hear how they’re doing. Ellen is headed to Spain, Nikki to Turkey. Several have come home to visit, or are doing so soon. Jen P. will be back from Germany in a couple of weeks. We saw Courtney when she was back from Chicago. Dani and Joe were here not long ago from New York. Jennie is due back sometime from the west coast. I was sad not to see Jen K. and her new baby when she was here visiting, but all reports are that she is doing well in Texas. Even Kate, whom I haven’t heard from in many, many years, touched base recently. She’s about to take the bar exam. Break a Law Review, Kate!

I am eternally grateful to Wheeler, who came up last weekend to help me get some home improvement work done and ended up doing battle with the spirits of the house who, apparently, did not appreciate his efforts. It was supposed to be a fairly simple matter to replace the kitchen faucet. What was originally a 30-minute job turned into a 5-HOUR ordeal that included replacing both shut-off valves under the sink and a section of drain pipe in the basement, shutting off the water to the entire house while still managing to have flow in the pipes an hour later, nearly burning the place down (the story is better if we say that, Wheeler) and cramming both of us into the space underneath the sink. The story is one of those minor epics that always seem to come during home improvement projects, and is better shared in person. Why is it that home improvement projects so often fall into the “minor epic” category?

Chili’s mom is nearing death, and a student at my school (not one from my classes, but one I know) is coming back haltingly from the brink. My heart goes out to both of them and to the people who sacrifice so much of themselves to care for them. Such work necessarily affects a great many people (it’s truly amazing just how many lives we touch in a direct and powerful way) and the balancing act of keeping all the parts of all these worlds turning smoothly is a complicated and arduous task.

My first triathlon takes place on Sunday, and I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, there are many positives. I am physically stronger and faster than last year, and I have equipment that will allow me to be more competitive (yay for wetsuits). On the other hand, some apprehensions exist. I still have not reached my low weight from last year (although I have managed to melt 7 of the 10 lbs. I gained over the winter during July). The rest of me looks and feels fit, but the fact that I still carry this inner-tube around my waist is really starting to annoy me. Also, and not related to weight or fat, I cannot seem to get comfortable with the course. I’ve done enough open water swimming to feel secure about that leg of the race, but the bike and run are truly worrisome. I’ve tried a whole host of approaches to the ride in an attempt to bring my times in at what I think they should be, and the best I’ve gotten is a fractional gain and a body that is not happy. I just can’t seem to get the rhythm of the bike leg down and it makes me nervous that I’m going to kill myself before I’ve even hit the run. The run. The hardest part of the race for me. I’m fitter for it than I was last year, but it remains my biggest obstacle. This course, particularly, is a test because of the hills involved. I want to conquer it in a decent time, but none of my test runs of the course have given me a lot to feel confident about. I will be happy to have improved on last year’s performance, but I won’t feel the race was truly successful if it’s not well done. Does that make sense?

I'm still working through the issues presented in the latest Community School post. I'm running out of time, so I'll have to finish that post either later tonight or tomorrow. Until then...

Glad I didn't reread the book before I saw the movie

Many of the Wayfarer Community adults (and some of the kids, too) descended upon the local movie house for the early evening showing of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. The movie was decent (better, perhaps, for my not being up on the details of the book), but the thing that made the movie really special was that it was a community event.

We all live really busy lives. We juggle jobs, children, school, projects of all kinds--not to mention the obligations of our extended given families, and we are often exhausted at the end of the day just from the efforts of trying to keep our worlds turning as we believe they should. That my world is full of individuals who, despite these obligations, nonetheless give up even more of themselves to make this chosen family work makes me feel truly blessed. It was an honor to spend the afternoon and evening with them all (and thank you, Molly, for your part in making that happen; welcome to our crazy world)!

We're all coming together tomorrow to celebrate the birthday's of the several of us who are turning 40 this year. I'll try to post pics tomorrow. Till then, reach out to some of your chosen family and tell them you appreciate them. It's a truly wonderful thing to be connected to people.

The Awareness of Summer

During the summer, the routine at Wayfarer House changes a bit. It’s not any less busy, per se, but it is focused on things very different from those that occupy my time when school is in session. In years past, I’ve not really had the luxury to take time “off”; there’s always been something curricular or otherwise related to my teaching that’s needed attention. Not so this year. In part because I’ve resigned as both AD and soccer coach at my school, but also because the need to use the summer to prepare for the upcoming school year lessens as I have been teaching at the same school longer and longer, I’ve been blessed with a goodly amount of time to pursue training for the two triathlons I want to race (both of which take place in August) and I have been able to work on rebuilding some important personal growth routines, blogging being among the latest of them. I’ve even been able to indulge in regular naps. Most of you know I have short internal batteries. Being able to recharge them, especially while doing heavy amounts of physical exercise, is a wonderful blessing.

The summer also means I’m around the house a great deal more than usual during school. As a result of this, I see more consciously the amount of work that needs to be done to keep the swirling vortex of activity we call a house from falling into complete chaos and decrepitude. I see with great vividness the endless stream of laundry. The dishes seem to scream at me every time I pass through the kitchen. The kids’ things cannot be cleaned up well enough or regularly enough to appease my rather non-standard sense of order. All these things are so much more evident to me during the summer and, as a result, are far more irksome to me than they might be otherwise, when out of necessity, I will compartmentalize my awareness of them so that I can focus on the myriad other monkeys on my back.

I give you today as an example: There are at least 4 baskets of laundry that need to be folded and 2 that need to be run through the machines; the kitchen is full of dirty dishes, but the dishwasher is full and needs to be emptied (I have to own the fact that it didn’t run until this morning); the floor needs to be vacuumed--again (Karla can attest to the fact that it was done just a couple of days ago, but, for a variety of reasons, the house gets dirty quickly in the summer); and last, but not least, the girls things are undergoing a slow but inevitable rate of encroachment such that they must surely engulf the house, much as Hemingway’s sharks must eventually devour Santiago’s great fish. Add to this, please, the ubiquitous collection of projects large and small that seems to diminish in size like the puddle you tried to scoop dry with your hands in a rainstorm when you were a kid and the relational demands that are regularly part of being a member of Wayfarer house, and you can see how tempting it can be to say, “That’s enough!” drop everything and deal with it all.

The thing is, I’ll never get it all done. I could spend all day, every day of my summer, working to get ahead on these tasks and I would never see the end of them. However greatly they wind me up, I have to recognize that I cannot do all of them at once. I have to commit myself to a certain list of things, according to a basic standard of prioritization and, as long as I have done those things, I must live with what remains.

I’ve been seeing in this an unnerving parallel to my work with the Community School. I'm working on a post for the Community School blog to discuss this more, but it won't be ready until tomorrow. Check the link, though. It might be there early.

Some Easy and Some Hard

Training this week is going well. I took my new wetsuit out for its first test in open water the other day and was thrilled. I was buoyant and glided along the water with an ease I’ve only rarely experienced as a swimmer. That, combined with weather that was simply exquisite for swimming, left me feeling like the 1.2 miles I did across a nearby lake was effortless. I seriously considered doing another half a mile, but decided to measure out a run around that lake so I can start practicing dual discipline workouts. I especially need to be pushing the run training. It’s my weakest discipline, and the one that is destined to cause me problems in the Olympic distance event I’m doing in just two weeks.

One of the things about training for distance events is that you spend rather a lot of time thinking about things that are not related to training (it’s part of what allows us to do things for far longer than we might otherwise). I’ve been thinking a lot about Wayfarer Community School stuff, and what I need to do to move things along with this project. I’m wrestling a bit with this, and I’ve decided I should take some time to write about the conflicts I’m having. I won’t get it all into this one post--I need to go to bed sometime--but if you’ll bear with me, I hope to connect all the disparate pieces into a cohesive thought over the next couple of days.

Laurie B asked where the project was in a comment a couple of posts ago. The answer is “not much farther than in the spring”, and I’m annoyed on several levels because I’m not happy with that answer. It’s not for reasons that are insurmountable or unavoidable that the project isn’t moving very fast. A lot of it simply has to do with me, and that’s a lot of why I’m annoyed. If it were something outside my control, I could roll with it (I probably wouldn’t, but that’s neither here nor there). That I am ultimately responsible for where we are means I have to get up off my ass and fix stuff, and that’s not as simple as I would like it to be.

I’m struggling at the moment with two separate issues in my way of doing things--not just WCS things, but all things. The first is that I have a tendency to focus on minutiae because it often seems like it’s the more immediate problem, when really I should be looking at the big ideas, which are my specialty and what other people expect me to be doing. The second is that, in a sometimes instinctive desire to keep stimulated, I often allow myself to take on projects that distract from more than they contribute to the grand plan. I’ll explain more about these over the next couple of days, but they really sit right at the heart of a lot in the deep end of my pool right now and I need to work through them.

I should probably have this conversation on the WCS blog. I am ashamed at how long it’s been since I posted to it. I’ll find a way to send this over there, and post the links to it on this blog. You need another blog to read, right?

Happy Birthday, Dad

I called my dad to wish him a happy birthday yesterday. He’s 68.

My father counts the day of his birth among the most important days in his year. I can appreciate that. I don’t hold my own birthday in terribly high esteem, myself, but I can understand why people see them as special. He and I have the conversation every year about why they're supposed to be sacred days. I think he supposes that I'm a curmudgeon about them. That's not true. I just don’t get all excited about the day, per se. I take a big-picture, though probably unrealistic, philosophical position on the issue. Treat people like it’s their birthday all the time, I say, and maybe we wouldn’t need to make such a big deal out of that particular day. Why should one ever feel constrained in giving love and attention?

Anyway, I love you, Dad! I hope you get a chance to do something you would enjoy. I’d get you a boat, if I could afford it. I know you love to be out on the water! You’ll have to settle for a funny card and a better way to make coffee, though. Seriously, those “coffee-in-a-bag” things are not the way to go.

A summary of the Week

The girls have been in camp for a week and, clearly, they like it a lot. One can determine this by several things, including the amount of time they spend talking about it, the number of times they ask if they can come back next year (even though they still have 5 weeks of camp to go) and the ease with which they go to bed in the evenings (this last one is an important grownup reason). Number one on the list of things they enjoy: Swimming. Their camp has poolage, and they have lessons in the morning with free swim in the afternoon. Both my girls are water children (they come by it honestly), and would spend all day in a pool or a lake or an ocean if we didn’t specifically tell them they had to come in because they’re suffering from hypothermia.

Wifeness and Karla are headed to see the Matriarch this weekend to help get her settled after her surgery. Sorry I didn’t write about this in advance; she just had a knee replaced. The procedure went well, I gather, but it’ll be a few days before the swelling goes down. Wifeness, ever the dutiful daughter, is there to do what she can to keep the house running so Nana can rest her leg like she should. Karla went to help as well, but also to see a cousin who’s been doing energy work on her for her illness (though having some time away from the young ones was a happenstance not inconsequential in her decision making)

Karla went with me the other day to get my one expensive piece of triathlon gear for the year: A wetsuit. I realized the wisdom of owning one last year, when I ended up having to do breaststroke for a full ¾ mile during a race because the water was too cold to do a crawl stroke without my lungs seizing up, but I told myself I would not spend the money unless: a) I made a commitment to continuing to race triathlons, and b) I was convinced I could get some weight off and keep it off. I made the decision to keep racing last year after the first race. I enjoy the competition and I get a lot out of the intense training that is necessary to do well in endurance events. Now that I’m doing them, I feel like I’ll do them forever. The weight came off last year and, although I put some back on over the winter (actually, it was during the end of soccer season, while I was prepping for my speaking gig in Charlotte), but I have done surprisingly well at holding since and, now that I’m training full on again, it’s starting to melt off. I decided I could spend the money with confidence. I haven’t had a chance to go try it out yet. That’ll come next week, when I have some time during the day.

Training is progressing. My swims are solid at ¾ mile lengths (the length of my longest event this year). I have to test myself in open water soon, but I feel like I’ll be in the middle of the pack in any race I run and that’s good enough for this year. The cycling is still good, although I’m annoyed I haven’t improved quite as much here. I was already a little better than the middle of the pack on the bike, but I haven’t taken the time to put the miles in like I should and my climbing has suffered a bit as a result. I did a very hilly 50+ mile ride Wednesday to work on that problem. I’ll test myself on the local race’s course next week. That will tell me more about what I need to work on. The run remains the biggest challenge for me. I was doing a decent 5k time in the spring, but I stopped running when the end-of-year school routine kicked into high gear, and so I’ve taken a couple of steps backward (pardon the metaphor). I’ll be happy if I can do the 7.2 miles of the local race in less than an hour this year. Right now, my pace is a little over that.

How’s your did your week go?

Would you like some lettuce?

Our farm share has been coming in for a couple of weeks now. Here’s about what we’ll be doing for meal planning at Wayfarer House for the summer...

Monday: Salad

Tuesday: Fresh Greens

Wednesday: Garden Vegetable Medley

Thursday: Leftovers

Friday: Chicken Fried Steak and McDonalds (to flush out the system)

Saturday and Sunday: Eat nothing due to continual digestion of Friday’s meal (coincidentally made possible by all the cheap greens we’ll be eating).

If we’re doing potluck or community meal at your place, you should just assume we’ll bring the salad. Seriously.

Yay for camp!

The girls start day camp today, and I am happy. I am happy not because I’m glad to see them go. Quite to the contrary; I enjoyed my week with them last week. I’m happy because, although my children are good at playing independently and keeping themselves entertained in good and healthy ways, I simply do not feel like I can get things done when I’m watching them. I think it’s partly due to the fact that I can’t multitask worth a damn--being mentally aware of my children counts as a task--but there is also the matter of their rather regimented schedule doesn’t quite coincide with my rather regimented schedule (particularly as it relates to the sacred naptime). Basically, without intending to, they cut into my productivity.

It’s good that they’re going to camp for other reasons, too. Among those is the fact that they’ll get a lot of interaction with other kids that they don’t get when they’re at home. They’ll certainly be kept busy there, where trying to keep them entertained at the house can be a challenge because they really have divergent interests and abilities. It’s a help to Karla to have them gone during the day. I can push them to keep quiet until as late as 10am, but after that they just have to be who they are and that’s too loud for Karla to sleep. Since it’s frought with problems to try to get Karla to rise earlier than 11am, it’s the path of least resistence to have them out of the house.

I have a to-do list on the dry erase board, and items are getting checked off as they are accomplished. Today was a swim/run training day. I got the my .8 mi. swim in at 6am (and kicked ass, too!) The run (which, if I’m lucky, will be a full 10k that doesn't piss off my recently hyperextended knee) will hit in the afternoon--after the nap. The rest of the day is reserved for phone calls and emails, and for some necessary bits of domestica. I need to wash softball and tri clothes, and I have a couple of errands to run in the early afternoon.

Things are moving along quite nicely. I am happy.

That's what I get.

Went running today and got my ass kicked. I deserve it. I haven’t done a lick of training in the past 5 weeks, and (clearly) it shows. I pulled out of my early tri event (which takes place this Saturday) so I didn’t hurt myself, but I’m bound and determined to be ready for the Olympic distance version of the local event in a month. The first week of this is going to be painful on several levels. I have resigned myself to this fact and look upon it both as payment for more than a month of sloth and as motivation to drive me not to slack off like that again.

I’m motivated by the fact that the Tour de France starts tomorrow. I follow the tour every year, and this year it’s going to keep a driving force in my training. If frickin’ Lance Armstrong can do it, then goddamn it so can I! I’m also inspired by a book Karla found for me at the library about a woman in her 50s who retired from her life as head of a school in England and rode around the world. Can I just say that I have dreams of doing that someday? It wouldn’t be the kind of around-the-world trip Wifeness would want to take, though, and I’d feel sad if she didn’t go.

We’re headed up to Lake Spofford for an annual 4th of July cookout event. I’m bringing swim gear (no wetsuit yet--that's on the list of things to buy this month). I have no expectation that the water will be warm enough to really push through, but it can’t be any worse than my last event of 2008 when I had to do breaststroke for ¾ of a mile because it was too cold to crawl. My nuts still crawl right inside at the memory of that day.

While training is the focus of the month of July in the mornings and the evenings, the middle of the day is set aside for the myriad house projects burning a hole in my to-do list. I can do several of them without a further impact to the budget, and those are the ones I’ll get to first. Next week’s items include finishing the side porch (more than a year after it was started) and the completion of the basement workshop makeover and inventory reduction.

If I don’t post tomorrow, it’ll be because we got back late and I was beat. Happy 4th to those of you who celebrate the most American of holidays!

Quality time--for everyone

This is a transition week. The summer vacation routine is in effect, but the kids’ summer camp experience has not yet started. This means that the mornings are slow (if not always quiet--sorry Karla), and that they begin with some sacred time between the early risers. SiSi has been a rooster since her earliest days. She comes by this honestly (as anyone who has known me since college can certainly affirm), and during the times when the grownups need to catch up on sleep it can be, well, a burden. She’s been “sleeping in” this week, though (till 7:30), so that’s been nice.

Once we’ve sent Mama on her way (she’s the resident working stiff during the summer), SiSi and I grab our breakfast and go outside. We sit, sip coffee and smoothie, chat and listen to the sounds of the morning. OK, the kid does the chatting and the Papa does the listening to the sounds of the morning. Still, it represents wonderfully intimate quality time and we both get a lot out of it.

NiNi and I get our version of that same time in different ways. Sometimes, it comes from doing things together--yesterday, for example, she and I went grocery shopping (which she likes because she gets to do all the price scanning). Sometimes we get it from just chilling. We don’t do it quite so often anymore, but we used to take naps together. She’s a great nap partner!

In pondering this concept, I realized this morning that I haven’t been spending as much quality time lately with our teenager-in-residence. She gets a lot of attention from Wifeness (which is at it should be), but it’s important that she know I value the time we spend together, too. It seems like it’s been more about the other two kids when she and I are in each other’s company of late, and that’s not fair. She should get to have the full attention of the Papa, as well.

Karla and I used to take quality time together a lot but, curiously, we haven’t been bonding quite as often recently. I’ve allowed myself to be focused on other things, and I’ve been lax about making the effort to nurture that special attachment we have. Attachment is an integral part of strong and healthy relationships, particularly between chosen family, and it deserves constant attention.

I take responsibility for not doing more to connect with her in those ways, but I’ll need to reach out to her for some help in doing that more. The thing about quality time is that it can rarely be dictated by an individual. If the important thing about it is that both people share something with each other during the experience, then it must be recognized that it can’t be done unilaterally. So, I’ll see what she thinks. I’m sure that, between the two of us, we can figure something out.

Say no and mean it

I am a parent of two well-mannered, respectful and attentive children. Of course, like most kids, mine don’t always get along with each other or listen to what I say or do what I ask them to quite when or how I ask them to do it but, for all that it drives me up a wall when they’re like that, I understand that parenting is all about process, and my relationship with them is dynamic. They are growing and learning and developing skills and habits that will serve them well later on. I am proud of their growth, and I am confident that they will both become quality people in their own, individual way.

I have confirmed that, if I would occasion it, I as the parent must be the both the standard and the example of what such growth looks like. I must be the teacher, the arbiter, the model and, without being so overtly, the director of my children’s learning. It is work to do this well and none of us does it perfectly. Yet, I stand by the belief that, if we would have our children become people of quality, with an appropriate understanding of self and an ability to examine with consideration their behavior and their choices, then we must do so consciously. If we are what we eat, then surely our children will be what they are parented to be. Children who are left simply to be may enjoy a youth free from the imagined burdens of responsibility, but I would argue that they do so at incredible risk to their safety and at a not inconsiderable cost to their ability to make good decisions on their own.

One of the most important ways in which parents can--indeed, must--contribute to the wellbeing of their children is to provide clear, consistent boundaries that both protect them from grievous harm and help them interact well interpersonally. Number one on the “how to” list of contributions involves just a single word: No. Judiciously and uniformly used, this small word guides children to an understanding of what is safe, what is socially acceptable and, when used with its antonym, offers solutions and possibilities for children to use as a means to think critically and independently about their world. It must be recognized, however, that words are powerful and, if they are wielded indifferently, without concern for their effect, they can create more problems than they solve.

If you tell a child no, as a parent you are using your position of experienced authority (a position that your children want to accept) to instruct them. If you throw the word around nonchalantly (and most especially if you don’t stand by it once you’ve used it), at least two consequences follow naturally: First, the child will no longer accept your decisions as valid on their face, and second, your position as experienced authority figure will be lessened. Either of these means you must work harder as a parent to instruct your children. Both of them together create a relationship between you and your children that is at best adversarial, and that can very easily become treasonous.

I suspect that many parents hesitate to enforce their disapproval either because they are not truly convinced that it is required or because they worry that doing so will engender bitterness (i.e. a fit), conflict (i.e. a shouting match) or resentment of them as individuals, but neither of these is a compelling reason to abandon the decision once it has been made. You are the parent. It is your right (and, indeed, your responsibility) to make decisions on behalf of your children. Show confidence and judicious consideration in making them, and do so not out of fear, but out of confidence that you are directing your children to become wonderful people. If it means saying no, say it, and have the resolve to stand by your choice. Your children, ultimately, will thank you for it.

Wayfarer House Monday News Bulletin

First, some news from around the world…

The U.S. gave a good showing against Brazil in the Confederations Cup final, but lost 3-2. I watched the game on Univision (we don’t have ESPN), which makes the game all that much better because of the colorful commentary. GOOOAAAAALLLL!

I also learned, right in the middle of the game, about Zelaya’s ouster in Honduras. I’ll be following the events there with some interest, with the hope that it does not explode into a humanitarian disaster.

Iran has begun recounting ballots from its recent election. Good job sticking with the rule of law, guys! We’re proud of you over here!

And in local news…

Caleb and Maeve had their first offer on a house rejected. This is, no doubt, a relief to Caleb, who is concerned about money what with two girls going into pre-school next year. Our collective heart goes with them as they embark on the journey of house ownership. We’re not anxious to see them go, even though we know it’s a good thing for them. We just hope that the process of finding a home of their own treats them well.

Karla’s health improves steadily, and she is on her way to the local community college in the fall to study alternative healing. She wants to help people in a way that is her own, and hands-on healing feels right to her. She’s had some good and powerful experiences with different kinds of hands-on healing over the last couple of years, and has seen how positive the results can be. I think it is admirable that she wants to share that experience with others.

The Wayfarer House younglings are home at “Camp Papa” this week. Today’s exciting agenda includes a trip to the vets and the library, helping Papa mow the lawn, playing in the pool (after it’s been refilled) and taking a nap (or at least watching Papa take one, which is good enough for me). They will be grateful, I’m sure, to start their outdoor camp experience one week from today.

Wifeness is looking for a teaching job. She had an interview at a local high school, but isn’t holding out much hope. She’s a victim of the classic catch-22. Schools (especially in the current climate) want teachers with experience. She doesn’t have any (of the traditional variety, anyway) and can’t get any if no one will give her a job. Man, we need to get this school thing up off the ground!

There is, of course, much more going on in my world, but the kids need me to get started with my day. I hope yours goes well!

School is done.

Grades are out. Most passed. Many did amazing work.

Stuff has all been packed and moved to my new classroom. I’ll explain later.

There’s no soccer or athletics to deal with. I’ll have to explain that later, too, I think.

Plants have come home.

I can breathe deeply now.

It’s nice to be able to post.

Not Survival Mode

A number of people who read this blog have asked where I’ve been this last month. To answer all the questions at once, there is nothing wrong. I am not highly stressed, and we are not in the grips of crisis here. Nor am I in “survival mode”. In survival mode, the extraneous elements of life are surrendered and we are left with only what must be in order to endure. Rather, it’s more like “prevention mode”. I’ll employ that term (for lack of something more erudite) to describe the prophylactic efforts we all undertake at times to avoid the catastrophic. Suspenders and a belt. In “park” with the emergency brake on. CDs and a geek stick. We engage in these habits, fully aware of their disproportion, because we cannot dismiss the feeling that, without them, something bad might happen. Nonsensical when we are navigating life at a pace and in a style familiar and predictable to us, such measures serve as a security blanket in times of frenetic unpredictability.

The end of school for me is the culmination of long effort on the part of my students. It is a time when they examine what they’ve done, where they are in the continuum of their work, and many are finding that they are not as ready to move on as they would like. Time is short, though, and the effort necessary to accomplish their goals often requires a lot of last-minute negotiation, organization and collaboration. There are countless spontaneous conversations during the days now when students ask can retake an exam, get help on their research, show me their presentation activity. They want to know if I’ve looked at their papers, if their pen-pals have written back. Can I help them make a phone call?

In order to accommodate the mental strain from all this, I find myself doing things I don’t need to do under normal circumstances. I stop trying to keep track of things in my head, for example. There is just way too much information flow, so everything gets written down. Meetings, reminders and notes all live in their right places in my computer, and I make no decisions without them. All the paperwork I get is (for me) meticulously organized so I can know where to find what I need and what must receive first priority. This is not the time to retain the inventory mentally.

I also notice that I take measures to protect my reserves of energy. I need naps more and I eschew activities that might leave me too tired to take on all that my students might throw at me in a given day. It is unfortunate that blogging, being more of a creative endeavor than a therapeutic one for me, requires more mental and psychological effort to maintain than I can easily summon without risking burnout. I know this is so because, when I think, “This would make a great blog post,” all the little warning lights in my subconscious go off. This is a time of year when I find it important to heed the warning lights.

Although I have much to share about what we’re doing here at Wayfarer House, it will need to wait just a couple more weeks, until the bulk of the frenzy at school has subsided. Until then, know that things are going as they should. Wifeness and the girls are well. The community is moving forward. Summer has arrived.