An interview

This came to my attention first through Contrary, then through Chili. I thought it was a neat variation on the meme theme, so I asked Chili if she'd do me. Here’s what she sent…

Chili: It's actually kind of hard to think up good, provocative interview questions. Feel free to change/alter/toss any of these in favor for something that has a more fun answer...

No, I’ll go with the questions you asked. It would seem somehow impertinent to change them, even for the sake of comic relief.

Chili: What's the DUMBEST thing you've ever KNOWINGLY done? What were the consequences?

Oh, wow! Well, I suppose the first thing that’s popped into my mind qualifies as the winner. There’s a little bit of background, though, so bear with me. First, it’s important to understand that this was done with full intention, after carefully considering all sides of the issue, and is an excellent example of making the wrong choice precisely because you actually stopped to do that.

Not long after I moved to Las Vegas, Cirque du Soleil came to town. They opened up their first show outside of Canada at the Mirage, and it was a bit of a risk for them. At that time, they were a bit of an unknown, so there were no guarantees their kind of entertainment would take off in Sin City. They decided to post a huge number of positions through the casino to help get the show off the ground, one of which was a “liaison and interpreter” to the acts in the show.

I came across an opening with them during a random sweep of ads in the major casinos, looking for something stable and sedentary because I was doing a lot of cycle training at the time and I wanted to continue to be able to do that. The job required a French speaker (additional languages a bonus), would go with the performers to the various public appearances they were required to attend and provide simultaneous translation, and would also see to whatever needs they had during their off duty time. It paid pretty well to start and I had just the right qualifications for this position. I applied, and they offered me the job.

This job offered amazing possibilities for interaction with an intensely creative and driven group of people, work an innovative, growing organization that now has shows all over the world. Cirque du Soleil recruits performers from all over, and the chance to speak (really speak) not just French, but Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, German, but any others I might be inclined to learn additionally would have really challenged my gift for languages in a way I haven’t been able to do since college. It was just the right job, so you can imagine what happened, right?

I turned it down.

I still kick myself in the ass for that decision.

Chili: If you had to give up one of your senses, which would it be and why?

Hmmm… Well, I can certainly say that I would keep my sight. I may be all manner of colorblind, nearsighted and afflicted with Graves Disease, but I rely a lot on my sight and to be without it would be a difficult transition for me. I also rely on my hearing quite a bit, too, so that has to stay. I think it would be dangerous for me to lose my sense of touch (hell, I do myself enough harm even having it), so I’ll keep that out of concern for safety. That leaves taste and smell.

I think I’d keep smell and lose taste. I really like food. I like cooking it, presenting it, eating it, savoring it; but, thinking about it, so many of the lasting memories I have of food do not sit in my taste memory as such. They come from the smells. I can close my eyes and instantly call to mind the smells of any number of wonderful things: Coffee, fresh baked bread (from a patisserie in Paris, which also has its own particular redolence), and garlic in olive oil are just the first aromas from a kitchen that make my mouth water. But smells go so far beyond the kitchen. There’s the earthy scent of a warm spring evening (we had one of those just yesterday and it was exquisite). There’s a special type of perfume that I can detect in a crowd which will instantly call up the memory of someone I remember who wore it. There’s even the smell manure from a nearby farm that I think of fondly because it reminds me of the experience of growing up on a farm.

Take my taste buds, then. Maybe then I wouldn’t care if I ate cereal with milk that was just that little bit past fresh. As long as it wasn’t curdled. Then we’re into the whole texture thing.

Chili: If you could go back in history to be a witness to any one event,
which would it be and why?

Oooo! A good question, that. I’ll say that it’s one probably better asked of my wife, the history person in the house, but let me think a minute.

I guess there are several contenders, but here are two:

I’d like to see an instance when Jesus performed a miracle, but not so I could debunk it. I like that there is such a thing as mystery, and I’m comfortable with not knowing exactly how it was done. The thing I’d want to see was how the event unfolded, from the crowd assembling, to the fishes and loaves coming out of nowhere, to the afterglow, to the disciples telling everyone the show was over and to go the hell home (after passing the hat for tips). It would just be an enlightening sort of event to see in person.

I’d like to see the meeting of the pilgrims at Plymouth Rock. I’ve had the opportunity in my life to interact with indigenous people in Brazil (I spent a week with a tribe in the middle of the rainforest—STRICTLY illegal for foreigners without permits!), and I have a sense for what it must have felt like to meet people with whom you could not communicate in any real way. How unnerving must it have been for both sides to see each other for the first time! The Wampanoag probably had in their oral history some encounters with European settlers (the Vikings, after all, landed several hundred years before the pilgrims did), but can you imagine what it was like to see them for real, looking all ratty and destitute, and clearly having no idea what the hell they were doing? From a sociogical perspective, that would have been interesting!

Chili: What is your superpower, and how do you use it for good?

Neat that you asked this, because my students are doing a unit on superheroes and powers in the next couple of weeks!

I have, since my early youth, known I’ve had great reflexes and an almost uncanny ability to instinctively react to things before they happen. I am very good at seeing patterns and relationships, and I think this comes in part from being able to recognize what I see know in what I have seen before. I suppose this would translate to an ability to see just a little bit into the future to see context and consequence—a kind of augury, if you will, that can tell whether a particular action will bring good or bad results in the immediate future. I’m not thinking about being able to predict far into the future, per se (I’m not sure I’d want that pressure), but to see a little ahead would seem a reasonable superpower, based on who I am.

I think the best use of this power for good is an advisory capacity. I don’t mean that I would necessarily prevent people from experiencing natural consequences for their actions, but rather to prevent innocent suffering where possible and to encourage everyone to stop and consider the question of “What happens next?”

I should note here that it might have been nice to have this superpower when I was offered the job at Cirque du Soleil. I might still have turned down the job, but at least then I’d be able to say it was for some reason other than BECAUSE I WAS STUPID!! ACK!!

Chili: When you're an old man, what are the young 'uns going to roll their
eyes at you for saying all the time?

Oh, Christ Jesus, there are so many things! I know that people already roll their eyes when I say, “So, I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news. Which do you want to hear first?” I’m betting it’ll be that.

________________________________


OK. Now it’s your turn! Here’s how it works:

Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me” or something like that, and either include your email (if I don’t already have it) or send it to: wayfarerbrian AT comcast DOT net.

I’ll email you five hopefully provocative, entertaining questions. There’ll be different questions from the ones I’ve answered here (that’s the beauty of this!)

You update your own blog with the answers to the questions I sent, and include an explanation of how this worked with an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

When other people comment on your blog asking to be interviewed, you get to ask them five questions, and the process evolves.

I leave it to you, then!

PS: Thanks, Chili! That was fun!

Where, oh where, has Wayfarer gone…

It’s been exactly a month since this blog has been updated, and for that I’m profoundly sorry. I hope you haven’t all just said, “F*&# it” and moved on. I’ll get around to everyone in time to let you know on your own blogs that I have not died or moved on to MySpace (I just can’t bring myself to set up shop there), but for the time being just know that things are well.

April has turned out to kick my ass! Teaching issues began the month. This is the time of year when students begin to come to the realization that they might not earn credit for courses, and when parents start to demand conferences and considerations from teachers in an effort to save their children from their own consequences. Please understand that I don’t begrudge parents this right. I think it’s important for children to know that parents will come to their aid even when they’ve made bad choices, but it is really irritating when they put blame on teachers for their children’s negligence.

My administrator is very good about defending the performance of her teachers, but I never take that for granted. I have learned to keep good records, so that I can adequately demonstrate exactly how a student is doing (or not) in my course. It is nevertheless a time consuming endeavor to go back and uncover all the notes, documentation, samples and communication on a student’s performance because the parents hope that, if they say I haven’t done my job right, perhaps the school will cut their kid some slack. I had to do this twice this month, and I am tired from it.

Right on the heels of this came midterm reports, which I should put into context. Eight times a year, my school produces narrative reports for students. Four of these are only for students who are in danger of not earning credit (we call them warnings); the other four are midterm and end-of-semester reports. Those of you who do letter grades with codes should appreciate just how little time it takes to do the task of reporting grades. It takes much longer to do narratives. I actually cheat a little because I have an Excel spreadsheet hooked to my grades that generates a basic narrative based on how students are doing, and this cuts the time *I* spend on reporting down by more than half. Even so, warnings routinely take me 4 to 5 hours and the major reporting takes more than 10 hours to do. Add to that the task of catching up your grading, so you have the most up-to-date information available, and you’ve added several more hours of time to the process. It’s emotionally draining.

Now we’re in the middle of Exhibition season, and my students are writing their 5-page papers. I’ve been getting drafts in from them and, as always, they require a SIGNIFICANT amount of revision. My 9th graders write for absolute crap! I have 65 of these to review in the next two weeks, marking revisions as I go so they can resubmit by mid May. I’m grateful that my TA, Dana, is around to help me with this, but again, it’s more tedium and time away from things I would rather be doing, like blogging.

Finally, there’s my thesis. I’m a little more than halfway through the writing of it (Wifeness is reviewing the first part now), and I’ve made good progress on the second part of it this week while I’ve been on vacation. I’ll need to dedicate more time over the next month to get it out the door, but I’ve managed to work through the research obstacles now, and so it’s just down to actually putting it all down on paper.

So, does that explain where I’ve been? Again, I’m sorry for not keeping up with blogging, but somewhere along the line something had to give. Still, it’s not very nice to just disappear like that, so I’ll commit to leaving word when I’ll be going on hiatus again, if I have to.

Ten Things Tuesday--MCAS

The MCAS is the Massachusetts version of a high-stakes test used in part to determine whether students in the state are eligible for a high school diploma. The 10th grade test (the one that counts toward graduation) covers four subjects: English, mathematics, science, and history. Initially, a passing grade was required in all the tested subjects. Currently, only English and mathematics are required. While originally 4th and 8th graders were the only younger students to take the MCAS, in response to mandates by the No Child Left Behind Act of 2001, there are now annual progress tests in each of the grades 3-8, in addition to the big test for the sophomores.

The English Composition portion of the test is being given this week (the remaining portions are given in a two week interval in late May). It goes entirely cntrary to the culture of our school to have these tests, not because we don’t do tests or because they can’t pass them (in fact, we have placed in the top 10 of schools in the region for English the last 3 years running). On the contrary, it is simply that our assessments run much more to the creative and the alternative, than paper-and-pencil tests. Especially, we are not a school with a culture of seriousness surrounding test taking. People can listen to music, sit on the floor or take it in crayon, if they want. Sometimes, they can take them with buddies. Almost never do I tell them, “This is a test. If you talk, you will get a zero.” However, the people who make the MCAS do not allow for such frivolity, and so we are bound by a certain degree of formatily in our administration of this test.

This is not to say that we don’t do everything we can to make light of things. My school that incorporates the performing arts into everything, and we strive to do it in ways that mock or otherwise deride unnecessary stuffiness. Therefore, in keeping with that spirit, below is a list of 10 things we are doing at my school that make the experience of taking the MCAS fit our school’s culture and attitude:

1. The test is administered in the Sunset Lounge (what we call our library). This space is so named because it is on the top floor of the school (which is on top of a hill), and there are lots of big windows which provide a full view of the exceptionally picturesque countryside.

2. We provide brain food before, during and after the test. Fruit, bagels, granola bars, juice and water for all the students taking the test. For the teachers? Coffee and donuts! We don’t have to take the tests, and we’d fall asleep out of boredom without stimulants of some kind.

3. The lead proctor comes to school in costume--a different one each day. Today, she came as a bureaucrat wearing a hat announcing same.

4. We take a minute to breathe in and out three times before we start the testing event for the day. Ahhhh! That’s better!

5. We read the instructions from the proctors booklet using accents and voices. Those of you who know me can imagine the kind of fun I have with this.

6. During the testing, the proctors circulate every couple of minutes, smiling and giving a smile, the thumbs-up sign or a quiet high five whenever we make eye contact with a student as we pass by.

7. During break, the students play Magic the Gathering®, strum the guitar or talk about the school’s upcoming musical, Little Shop of Horrors, which opens this week at the Academy of Music. If you’re anywhere nearby, and can get to this show, I strongly encourage you to see it. This is most decidedly NOT what you think of when you hear “high school” and “musical”. Trust me.

8. Very few classes are actually teaching anything this week. This is not just because of MCAS, but because, in addition to Little Shop, there are a number of other shows, trips and lectures going on that students are involved in. It’s a busy week for everyone, and it made sense for most of us simply to tread water for the week. My classes, for example, are using class time to make up tests, revisit works in progress and put the get help with the outlines for their research papers. The outlines are due Monday and are not eligible for extensions, which is making some of them nervous because they’ve never really done outlines for research papers before.

9. When they finish the testing for the day, the students go to a “decompression chamber”, where they can talk, play cards or chill for a little bit before they head to their next class. In May, when the weather is warmer, they’ll be able to go outside and relax in the field behind the school. There is an organizational reason for this, believe it or not. Because the students finish testing at odd times, giving them a place to go means they don’t keep interrupting classes as they come in at staggered times.

10. When all the testing is done for the year, we’ll have an ice cream party.

Don’t you wish you got to take high-stakes tests at my school?

Daycare, Papa style...

Wifeness is upstairs with Maeve and a whole truckload of womenfolk. They’re doing something estrogen-y with scrapbooks. Caleb and I offered (or maybe we were told, I can’t remember now) to entertain the children for the afternoon so they could scrap and book with pointy scissors, real glue and (most of all) no distractions.

This is fine with me, but it was made clear to me this morning as Wifeness was setting things up for the kids to do just how differently she and I look at the job of babysitting. Wifeness, for example, bought a craft activity for them to do that involves little foam purses and copious amounts of stick on decoration. She made sugar cookie dough for them to play with as well. Nice activities, those, but definitely more along her line than mine. I have something different in mind.

March Madness!

That’s right, kids! Grab your bracket sheets, ‘cause we’re gonna do some NCAA Tournament picking. Who do you like? Winthrop’s got a shot at upsetting today, and look there! That’s Joakim Noah. He’s going to be the MVP of the tournament.

I’ll explain the pick and roll using their stuffed animals and, if they watch closely, maybe we can re-enact the Tennessee vs. Virginia game using Polly Pockets and Groovy Girls.

I’m taking the Groovy Girls at -7 on the spread because they’ve got the deeper bench. They outplayed Dora and the Explorers in round 1 action, and they’re 4-1 on the year against soft dolly teams. They can’t score in the paint, but those Groovy Girls are deadly from 3-Point land.

In Gratitude to a Snowblower.

Wayfarer House is replete with a variety of sounds and effects that give visitors the impression that it is a living entity, with its own spirit. Some of them are obvious, like the radiators that hiss and whisper when the heat is on. Others are more subtle, such as the quiet creaks, clicks and rasps the house makes when the wind blows, or as it heats up in the morning or cools down at night. Some of them are man-made, like the computer that hums quietly under the desk or the dishwasher that makes the light in the kitchen dim when it kicks on. This essence can be found in all parts of the house, from the standing freezer that can be heard to purr softly in the basement to the cuckoo clock used that to tick and tock discreetly in the living room (although it has been silent for most of the last couple of years because the little ones have a tendency to pull on the chains). All these are the sounds of home and I am grateful for their presence because they are pleasant, quiet reminders for me to take time to be thankful for them and the comforts they provide.

This feeling of sentience is part of the essence of Wayfarer House, and the house is not the only thing around here that gives this impression. Today’s story, for example, involves our snowblower.

Our snowblower came to us as a result of some stellar yard sale hunting on the part of Wifeness. It cost us $30. I took it to a shop for a tune-up and some love after it came home, and the guy who worked on it said that it would move snow just fine, but that one of the parts in the carbeurator was out of kilter just enough to give it the impression that it breathes like a person does. He started it to demonstrate and, sure enough, it sat there and breathed.

brrrrrrr (inhale), BRRRRRR (exhale), brrrrrrr (inhale), BRRRRRR (exhale)…

I discovered when I put it to use the first time that it breathes harder when it’s working than when it’s idling, and that there is a rhythm that makes it work effeciently, just like a person working at VO2 max. It exhales hard when it pushes heavy snow, to get extra power, just like you or I might. It can push like this for quite a bit, too, but eventually it will run out of breath and, if you try to get it to push snow while it’s inhaling, it will choke and stall. Nothing worse than breathing in your food, right?

I’ve worked with this machine for three winters now, and we have come to understand each other. I keep it fed with gas and oil and help it do its job well, and it throws waaaay more snow for me than it’s designed for.

Just as I do with the house, I try to take time to be thankful for all the machines that I use. This includes the snowblower. It has done very well for us these last three years, and is deserving of regular thoughts of gratitude and appreciation. I must admit, however, that I have been lax in this recently and, as such things happen in my world, it came back to haunt me. During our big 12”+ snowstorm in February, the snowblower shut down about ¼ of the way into clearing out the driveway and refused to start again. It was snowing too hard at the time to rip it apart and find out what the problem was, so I was forced to shovel the rest of the way (many thanks go out to Caleb, who lent his body to the cause that night). The next day, back stiff and shoulders sore, I apologized to the snowblower. I promised to take it in for another tune-up when the winter was over, and I wheeled it to an out-of-the-way corner of the yard to sit out the rest of the season.

I considered it a blessing that we received only one other real snowstorm in February, and it was one that I could shovel without a lot of fanfare. When March arrived, I harbored the faint hope that we would be done with snow for the winter. The gods of winter in New England, however, would not be denied their traditional parting shot before giving way to spring. They sent a Nor’easter to us, laughing as they did so that we should know better than to get our shorts out in March.

Yesterday, the snow fell hard, fast and grainy. It was heavy, like sand, and just as difficult to move. Wifeness wanted to go out after dark and throw some of it around, and came back inside an hour or so later having cleared out about a third of the driveway. Maeve and Caleb, apparently itching for some back-breaking exercise as well, shovelled half of the back parking area. I decided just to wait until the storm finished before I went out. I fully expected that I would be shovelling for four hours or more, and felt no need to draw the pain out into two separate sessions. I went upstairs and rode my bike instead.

The next morning, I got up, tugged on my tall L.L. Bean boots and headed out to take stock of things. In those parts of the driveway where the others had worked the evening before, there was about 6” of snow, but there was a sizeable amount of terrain that sported a full 14” of newly fallen sand, and my body immediately began to protest that shovelling it constituted an abuse which would not go unrecognized--or unavenged.

I stood in the parking lot for several minutes, talking to my body and strategizing about just how I was going to move all that snow, when my eyes found the snowblower. It was nearly covered by snow, and looked pitiful, though unrepentant about its decision a month ago. I knew what I needed to do. Like an insensitive teenager seeking reconciliation with an insulted prom date, I trudged over to the snowblower and again apologized. I talked to it a minute about how it deserved better from me than it got this year, and that I appreciated that it needed to stop that time in February. I wondered, though, if it wasn’t somehow missing out on fulfilling its purpose by simply sitting there. I said there was no pressure, but if it wanted a real workout, this was the perfect opportunity.

(At this point, you are either thinking I’ve completely gone over the edge and you need to take me off your list of blogs to read, or you are smiling because you have had such conversations with supposedly inanimate objects yourself and totally know what this feels like. If you are in the latter group, please read on…)

“OK,” I said with a sigh, “the choice is yours.” I reached down and turned the key to ON. I pulled the choke and primed the engine--three pumps, the way it always likes. I put my hands on the cord and tugged tentatively. It was stiff at first, but yielded after a moment. I pulled again, and got good smooth action. It usually takes three pulls, though, so I braced my feet and pulled hard. There was a cough, a sputter, black exhaust, then nothing. My shoulders slumped, but I decided to give it one more try. I braced my feet and pulled. It coughed. There was more black exhaust, but this time, it roared to life, spitting out the gunk that had settled in the engine from its period of inactivity. Finally, it began to breathe.

brrrrrrrBRRRRRRbrrrrrrrBRRRRRRbrrrrrrrBRRRRRR…

I could not help but smile, lift my arms to the heavens and mouth words of thanks. I had no way to know how long this would last, but I committed myself to offering similar gestures of gratitude for however long that was. I turned it toward the parking lot, and we got to work. We bit into the deepest, heaviest snow and steadily threw it toward the edges of the parking lot, doing most of it in stages that helped us to make a HUGE pile on top of the small vegetable garden for the kids to sled down later. We stopped to refuel after. The snowblower got gas; I got coffee. Then, we set to the driveway. This, too, required a staged attack, but we took our time and the snow offered little sustained resistance.

We made continuous progress until we got to the end of the driveway where the town’s plows had thrown up a wall of packed snow and ice nearly 3’ high. Normally, this would have made the snowblower sweat, but not this time. We carved a hole through it, then slowly widened the opening by chewing off slice after slice, until we were through it. I decided to pay this blessing forward and dig out our next door neighbor, too, clearing their driveway and beating a path to their porch, so they could reach their cars.

The snowblower and I worked for three solid hours. When we were done, I patted it on the body and, for the umpteenth time today, said thank you. Then I turned the key and it sighed itself to a stop. Seriously. It said, “Ahhhhh!”. Apparently, it had enjoyed itself. I’m glad. I did, too.

I would have shovelled my house out by hand if it had come to that. I would have worked for 4, 5 or even 6 hours, beating the muscles in my back, shoulders and legs to a pulp in the process. I would have gone to bed at 6pm with 1,000mg of ibuprofen in my system to put me to sleep, and offered appreciation for being healthy enough to shovel all that snow. I would have done this without complaining because it would have been my karma, the consequence for my ignoring the importance of being thankful. However, I am grateful to the universe, and to my snowblower, for giving me a chance to remember the lesson without having to go through all that.

Easy Come, Easy Go…

Just when we thought it was safe to take the plastic off the windows…

We had several days in a row of fabulously warm weather this past week. The snow has largely melted at Wayfarer House, and at my school we were able to play softball on the softball field, instead of the parking lot (which is much safer for everyone’s vehicles, I’ve discovered). Local flora has begun to blossom and fauna (including the middle schoolers) have entered the rutting season. People’s blood is thinner now than it was just a week ago, which makes the weather today hurt just a little bit more.

We’re getting snow today. Not just a little snow, mind you, but a full-fledged Nor’easter, complete with all 5 varieties of winter precipitation and heavy snow warnings. The end result will be a dumping of over a foot of snow on Wayfarer House and continued cooling over the next several days (highs in the 30s, not the 60s). It is snowing heavily as I write this, and my school is joining the growing numbers of institutions closing early and sending students home. I may have to pick my girls up early from pre-school, depending on how the roads are as I head north. Right now, they are not due to close early (which is good, since neither Wifeness or I is really in a position to come and get them today). I have all-wheel drive on my car and I am an excellent driver in the snow (if I do say so myself), so I’m not worried about all this, but it does throw monkey works on the wrench for my afternoon plans if I have to go pick them up. I was hoping to get my new cycling shoes first!

I haven’t been riding in almost 2 weeks, and I’m really itching to try out my new pedals. Have I shown them to you? They look like this (but on my bike).



And my shoes look like this.



With both of them together, I can ride like this!


Wifeness and I started looking at possible routes for my ride to Pennsylvania in July. I’m totally stoked that she’s going to be part of it! I certainly wouldn’t have minded doing it by myself, but I’ve always enjoyed going on adventures with her and this way I can share it with her and with my girls, even if they’re not riding themselves.

10 Things Tuesday—Discoveries

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while. Last week was a reporting week at school, which means a lot of correcting, reviewing of attendance and writing of narrative so the students know if they’re performance is not up to snuff.

I’ve decided to review 10 things I’ve discovered in the past week:

1. I can run 5k in under 30 minutes. I’m very excited about this because it means there’s a chance that a triathlon in August won’t be the very death of me. I want my 5k time down to 27 minutes before I start adding distance. Now that the weather is steadily above freezing, I’ll be able to run more than once or twice a week. I’m hoping to be at a 10k distance by May.

2. I like Lily Allen. I watched a recent rerun of Saturday Night Live, where she was the musical guest. I had never heard her music before, and I found I really liked it. I’m not a big fan of emo/pop, but there’s something about it Lily’s music that I enjoy.

3. Hairballs the size of a child's fist, when lodged deep in the tub drain, are surprisingly tenacious.

4. Daylight Saving Time, when it comes this early in the spring makes it hard to get up in the morning because it’s dark again. When it’s light at 6:30, I can get up. When it turned dark again so suddenly, my body thought it was winter and went into hibernation mode. Even with this issue, I still like DST because the extra light means I can do things outside after supper. (Light = Good)

5. It’s "Daylight Saving Time", Not "Savings". There’s no “s”.

6. A softball left in a parking lot, when run over by a car, can squirt out with quite a bit of speed, but will not still not smash a windshield.

7. I do just fine eating just half a bagel for breakfast as I do with a whole one. I’ll have to eat an apple before lunch, but my body has taken quite well to smaller breakfasts of late.

8. I am the only person living at Wayfarer House, upstairs or downstairs, who can blink both eyes independently.

9. Mbungo makes people nervous, but that doesn’t keep them from stealing his clothes.

10. My students will work harder to prepare for an exam if they know that it will come in the form of a game, and that chocolate will be involved. It remains to be seen if they will actually perform better when this is the case, but I’ll post the results next week after they’ve taken it.

10 Things Tuesday—Essentials…

This week’s list reviews the 10 things I find to be the most necessary to my existence.

1. My pocket knife. I have had one since I was about 10 years old, and I am rarely without it nearby. I have a small Swiss Army knife currently, and I have come to rely on it as an extension of my hand. I carry it with me everywhere and use it all the time. This one has a belt sheath, which is great! I can keep in on me without the inevitable damage to my pants pockets that comes from storing them there. If I don’t carry it in the sheath (such as when I’m at school), it lives in my 5th pocket. Finally, a good use for that 5th pocket!

2. My laptop. I have been so happy since I got this machine! I bought it originally to do graduate school, but it has been so valuable to me in so many other ways. I use it at home, at school, at the library and at numerous WiFi spots (including my garage) in my area and, together with the next item on the list, I am able to accomplish so much more, so much better, than I have ever been able to before in my life.

3. The Internet. The web is my first source for information and inspiration of all kinds. I love that I have access to the entire world whilst pajama-clad and basking in the comfort of my living room!

4. Coffee. I am a coffee drinker. I usually have two cups a day, one in the morning on the way into school (accompanied by a bagel or toast) and one in the evening after dinner. I use a small French press to make it at home (I’m the only one in my house who drinks it), and I love the rich flavor that it gives. I try to take a few minutes to just sit and take pleasure in drinking it slowly. It’s a sort of meditation done like that and, when I take my coffee in this way, it treats me well. I’ve been drinking coffee since I was 11. I had my first cup with a little milk and sugar, and instantly fell in love with the taste of it. My friend’s mother gave it to us, to warm us up after we’d been playing out in the snow that winter. I have no idea if it was appropriate to offer an 11 year-old a cup of coffee at that time or not. A parent would never give coffee to someone else’s child today, although most parents would not hesitate to offer children a bottle of (fully caffeinated) soda. The logic of this escapes me.

5. A Car. I love to drive! I love to go on roadtrips! Cruising in the summer with the windows down and the radio playing on a warm, summer day is one of my visions of a perfect moment. I can drive damn near anything, but I prefer vehicles with manual transmissions. It’s part of the experience I love the most. Something about being able to feel the road.

6. Food. Apart from the obvious reasons for why this would be included, it’s presence on my list comes from the fact that I am a gourmand. I love food! Although the term gourmand implies excess, I really try not to overeat that much. For me, it’s less about quantity than it is enjoyment of what’s there. Buffets, for example, are marvelous things because I can sample a hundred different foods all at one time. Cookouts are great, too, because there’s such a culture of community that goes with them. It doesn’t matter who’s there, everyone gets along when there’s grillin’ goin’ on!

7. Summer weather. I am a child of summer. I am active then. I am happy then. I am at most peace with things in my world when it’s warm outside, the birds are singing and it’s light out until 8pm. I feel strongest when I’m outside in summer weather, and I’m far more motivated to do arduous tasks at that time of year than in the winter. I’m just so much more energized by summer than any other time of the year.

8. My automatic pencil. This may seem like an odd choice for this list, but consider that I am left-handed and I have what can be politely described as unique handwriting. It is much easier to write in pencil because I don’t run my hand over the ink before it’s dry (thereby saving my long-sleeved shirts from certain ruin), and I have the added benefit of being able to make corrections to anything as I go. Why an AUTOMATIC pencil? The answer for this lies in the fact that it is always sharp. Regular pencils get dull after just a few lines of writing. I have this thing about writing with dull pencils. I like my leads to be SHARP. With .5mm leads in my pencil, I never need to worry about writing with dull lead.

9. My solitude. As I’ve mentioned before, I am a person who very much enjoys his time alone. Even if it’s not productive time, just being able to sit and be is healing and comforting to me. It brings me back to center and rejuvenates me. It also compliments my need to be around people, which, although not as essential to me as my need to be alone, is certainly something I value.

10. Wifeness. Yes, she makes this list, and not simply for all the mushy reasons. She and I have built for ourselves a nurturing, supportive, enjoyable, productive life, and I have found that, while there may be times I need to do things away from her, it’s not nearly as much fun and I’m not nearly as right with things when we’re not together. Put simply, she's an essential part of my happiness. I'm grateful every day that we decided to do this together.

Two memes in a row...

I feel like doing another one, so here it is (I got it from Chili):

Have you ever had an argument with a teacher?
Nothing that one could call a serious argument, no. I have engaged in lively and spirited debate with teachers, but when I did so, it was always with a smile on my face.

Can you count in Roman numerals?
…at least up to the last Super Bowl!

Are you bilingual?
In order of fluency, I speak English, Spanish, French, Portuguese, Italian and German (although I have to say my German saugt entsetzlich!)

Do you know how your car’s engine works?
I can change the oil, plugs, and any of the various hoses, filters, fuses and external parts on it. That said, I hand the oil changes and tune up work to Rich. When you equate time to money, it’s a great savings to have someone qualified and trustworthy to work on your car.

Can you program the time on a VCR?
I can make our VCR do things most people only dream of!

How many email addresses do you have?
My base account is my personal account through Wayfarer House. I also have an account through my school and an account through my university that are both funnelled to the base account. There’s a Google account out there that is part of the forum for starting the Landmark Community School, but it’s not active at present.

Do you own a slinky?
I don’t, but my children have several. There’s one in my classroom, also, that my students sometimes play with.

Do you talk to yourself?
I do it all the time, but particularly when I’m concentrating, wrestling with a project or problem. I also do it when I really push myself to the limit when I exercise.

Do you have a tough time remembering people’s names?
I don’t when I choose to focus on it. I don’t always choose to focus on it because it distracts from other things I’m carrying in my brain at the time. If I’m really going to remember things that come at me in random fashion, I have to prepare for it by clearing my brain beforehand.

Did you go stag to your Senior Prom?
I came that way and went that way. I wouldn’t have been any worse off for staying home, but I was on the planning committee, so I was obligated. It wasn’t a bad evening, but the memories I carry from it are not among my most treasured.

Is any leftover food currently residing in your refrigerator?
All kinds. We just had community dinner, so there’s beef stew in addition to the cod and fusilli from Saturday. Leftovers are good. They make for good lunches at school!

Are you high maintenance?
All people are high maintenance on some things. I have my things, but they are neither abundant nor prominent.

How do you want to be proposed to?
Well, I did the proposing to Wifeness, but I’m sorry to say it wasn’t terribly romantic. Not one of my best moments, really.

Do you work out regularly?
I have done a good job of this since Christmas, and I’m excited to be making good progress toward my two of my goals for this year: A bike trip to Pennsylvania and a triathlon.

Do you care about your appearance?
I do, but I'm not fastidious about certain things so much of late. I let my beard go for a week at a time, I don’t get my hair cut quite as often as I used to and my clothes go longer before they get replaced. It’s not so much a lack of caring as it is a choice to focus on other things for the time being. It will matter more soon, and when it does, I’ll give it the attention it demands.

Do you like to be tan?
I do, but I can’t tolerate the sun as well as I used to. I suppose that’s because I don’t spend as much time outside as I used to. I’d love for that to change.

If you had your choice of anyone in the world to spend a night with, who would it be?
I prefer to spend my nights with my lovely wife. It doesn’t really matter what we do. I just enjoy spending time in her space.

How many keys are on your key ring?
There are seven. Two car keys, two house keys (Wayfarer House and Wifeness’ folks house) and three school keys. There is also a bottle opener, a baby pin and the clip that attaches everything to my belt.

How much money is in your wallet/purse right at this moment?
10,000 Brazilian cruzados. Value in American dollars? 0.00¢ (the cruzado was changed to the real several years ago). I keep it in there in case my wallet is stolen. When this happened several years ago, the perp brought the bill to the bank to see what it was worth, and this led to his arrest.

What is your favorite spice or seasoning?
Black pepper undoubtedly sits at the top. Fresh onion and garlic are close in second place.

What does your name mean?
I have always understood my first name to mean “noble” or “strong”. It’s a celtic name, I think.

Do you give your pets holiday presents?
She gets an extra scoop of food at Christmas. Wifeness gets her toys.

When doing up your jeans, do you button then zip? Or zip then button?
I do the button first. They zip easier that way.

How far would you go on the first date?
I never went beyond first base on an official date. To do otherwise always seemed ungentlemanly.

Do you sleep on your side? Stomach? Back?
If I want to sleep for a short or specific amount of time (18 minutes, say), I must do so on my back. If I want to sleep for at least a couple of hours, I am most comfortable on my stomach.

Have you attended a high school reunion yet? How was it?
I have no desire to revisit high school by going to a reunion. I’ll go with Wifeness to her 20th next year, though. That should be entertaining!

Are you ticklish? Where?
I am not ticklish anywhere any longer. I’ve worked to not be. When I was a kid, my mother could reduce me to jello by tickling my temples. She still tries whenever she comes to visit.

Would you rather change your past or know your future?
Knowing the future seems the more valuable gift. I don’t have any regrets about how I’ve lived my life to this point, so there’s no need for me to rewrite history.

Do you believe in saving yourself for marriage?
I did not do so for religious reasons, but I waited until I was nearly 20 to have sex. It was great when I decided to go there, but I was glad not to be burdened or distracted by it when I was in school.

Would you pick up a hitchhiker?
My wife will hit me when she reads this, but the answer is yes, as long as I didn’t have my kids with me. I relied on hitchhiking when I was younger to get back and forth to school, and I appreciate that some people need a ride.

Would you consider yourself a worrier?
No. I think I do a very good job of keeping centered in uncertain times. My view of it is this: If you can’t do anything about it, worrying about it isn’t going to change anything. Save your energy for things and people you can reasonably influence.

Do you notice when your crush/significant other changes something about themselves?
For the most part, yes. I may not always comment on it, but I usually notice.

Do your first impressions of people usually stick?
I’ve worked really hard to let my impressions of people form over time, though I am a keen enough judge of character and personality patterns for those impressions to be accurate.

What movie can you watch over and over?
I watch the old Star Wars trilogy a lot while I cycle up in my office, and I love to watch Running Scared with Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines ("YEEEEES!!"). When I need professional insight or inspiration, I turn to Stand and Deliver. All in all, though, the movies I enjoy the most every time I watch them are the three Matrix films—especially the second. Great action, great story, great music… and 1,001 great quotes!

Do you like to cook?
I do! I haven’t been able to do much cooking during the last couple of years, but I very much enjoy the creativity and energy that comes from working on a meal. I don’t know as much as I would like to about preparing fine cuisine, but it’s on my list of things to learn more about before I die.

Do plants die in your care?
Sometimes. My plants at school suffer during breaks because I don’t water them before I leave, but I’ve had Theo, my ficus, for 17 years and he’s doing just fine.

What’s one thing you feel you must do in your life before it ends?
Start the Landmark Community School. It’s been a goal of mine since I decided I wanted to become a teacher and, though the specifics of the dream have changed over time, the essence of it has remained strong in me for most of my life. I’m excited at how close this dream is to becoming real!

A Meme for the Literary Masses...

Chili and Kizz have this meme on their blogs. I did it just to see how many of these titles I’ve actually read. I was impressed, considering I haven’t read 12 books that weren’t related to graduate school in the last 5 years. Anyway, here’s the list…

Look at the list of books below.
* (Bold) the ones you’ve read
* Italicize the ones you want to read
* Leave unchanged the ones that you aren’t interested in.
* If you are reading this, tag, you’re it!

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austin)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolsoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down(Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

From today’s exams…

SCENE 1

Me: “¿Avery, Cómo se dice ‘student’s desk’ en español?” (How do you say “student’s desk” in Spanish? The answer is spelled "pupitre", and properly carries the stress on the second syllable).

Avery: “Poopy tray.”

(Several minutes of rolicking and puerile laughter ensues from the class)

Me (after finally calming the class down): “Euh. Hmm. Well, no. Try again, and put the stress in a different place.

Avery (looking confused): “Poopy traYYYYYYYY?”


SCENE 2

8. Ana sonríe mucho.

Please write #8 in English

Amy’s answer: Eight



Sigh.

10 Things Tuesday...

For this edition, the theme is the Oscars!

1. The only film I saw that was nominated for an Oscar in any category this year was Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (it won for visual effects and was nominated for art direction and sound).

2. Of the last 20 Best Picture winners, I have seen 12, and only 2 since 2000. Of these, my favorite is probably Dances with Wolves.

3. Despite #1 and #2, I have won the Oscar pool 3 of the last 4 years at my school (I tied with 4 other people this year because of upsets in the obscure categories).

4. No one has done as good a job at hosting the Oscars as Billy Crystal did. His Hannibal Lecter entrance in 1992 was priceless! The distinction of worst host in my lifetime goes unquestioningly to David Letterman.

5. I was born in the year of Midnight Cowboy, graduated the year Michael Douglas and Cher earned Oscars and got married most recently the year ¾ of the soundtrack to The Lion King was nominated for music Oscars.

6. The first Oscar show I can remember watching was in 1979. It was Johnny Carson’s first time hosting, and I remember thinking he was funny. I also remember Kramer vs. Kramer winning for Best Picture. Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness) won a lifetime achievement Oscar that year, too. By the time he won the award, I had seen Star Wars more than 20 times.

7. The earliest Best Picture winning film I have seen in its entirety is Casablanca (1943). I have only seen parts of Gone with the Wind (1939) and Mutiny on the Bounty (1935).

8. I still have no idea how Rocky managed to win Best Picture in 1976. All the President’s Men was a much better film.

9. Of the last 20 Best Foreign Language Film winners, I’m sad to report that I have seen only 5. The last one was Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, in 2000. My favorite of all these is Life is Beautiful.

10. When Al Gore started his acceptance speech for An Inconvenient Truth with the phrase, “My fellow Americans…” I, as well as the entire membership of the Democratic party, stopped what they were doing and wondered, just for a split second, if he was really going to enter the race.

Some of Today, in Pictures...

Today, I had these all day.

After breakfast, Mama headed off to work and we got dressed to go outside. I did this for about two hours...









...and the girls spent that time doing this.










We were all pretty cold after that, so we popped inside for a bit of...







...then we loaded into the car to go run our one errand of the day. We stopped along the way to see Mama at the office, then went here to get the gift card we needed for Seth's birthday.









We were hungry for lunch by the time we'd finished, so we walked over to here for a sandwich...









Then home for...

Let's Review the Highlights of Today's To Do List...

1. Write some on the thesis. Check.

2. Return copious amounts of email. Check –. I still have several to do tonight, but I made a big dent in the list.

3. Update class blogs so students can submit BOTH their assignments before they come back from vacation. Check +. I even got several students’ work edited, so they can make corrections when they come back.

4. Go for walk. --. I postponed this because I needed to go out to get tomatoes for supper tonight, and discovered after the fact that I needed to replace the rear wiper blade on my car because it had basically fallen off. Not a complicated procedure, but going to the auto parts store and dealing with the problem ate up my walking time. Fortunately, I’ll have shoveling the driveway to look forward to as exercise. We’re due about 3” of snow, which is just enough to warrant clearing.

5. Make supper. Check. Stuffed tomatoes, inspired by this recipe, served with fettuccini. I cheated a little by using the rest of the pesto in the fridge instead of tapenade, but it worked. It got positive reviews by 2/3 of the women in the house (NiNi hates everything I make anyway, so whatever).

6. Post at least rudimentary replies to two of the blogs I read. Check. (Chili and Kizz, plus Wifeness)

7. Post to my own blog. Check.

All in all, a productive day! I think I'll reward myself with a cup of coffee and some episodes of the first season of Battlestar Galactica after the children are asleep.

10 Things Tuesday—Wayfarer Edition

This tradition started with Chili, but when Kizz said she was thinking about jumping on the bandwagon, I said I’d join. Here is my first installment. Because it is the first one, it’s full of random observations.

1. When my wife and I play Rummy, she always (no, really, always) kicks my ass. If we play Scrabble, the opposite is true. When the game is Trivial Pursuit, no matter which edition we play, it always comes down to who gets the better final question. If she gets a Sports & Leisure question that has to do with potent potables, she wins. If I get an Entertainment question about the Muppets, the game is mine.

2. I have used the same razor since I turned 13. It’s an Atra and it still works perfectly. Along those same lines, I have used the same deodorant (Old Spice Classic) and worn the same jeans (Levi’s) since that same time.

3. According to a quiz I took recently, I am the 233,913,044th richest person in the world. Impressively, this still puts me in the top 4% of all people worldwide in terms of wealth. Sadly, despite all this wealth, my net worth is still less than the value of a cup of coffee.

4. Is there anyone in the world who can honestly deny that Dennis Haysbert’s voice is among the most mesmerizing on television? I’m a perfectly straight guy, and his voice makes me wet!

5. I have an internal timer in my body that will alert me exactly when rice is done. I have no clue how it works, but this same timer will also wake me up at the exact time I want to when I take a nap.

6. I eat a wide and varied diet, but I have serious psychosomatic aversions to three foods: Watermelon, root beer and wheat grass juice. The taste or smell of any of these will trigger a gag reflex.

7. I do not own a gun, but I do own (and can use) several varieties of knives, including a diving knife, a kukri, two throwing knives, two Swiss Army knives and a t’ai chi sword. The last of these is decorative, but all the others are honed sharp enough to shave with.

8. I can imitate a huge number of accents and voices, but I still cannot properly speak like any of the characters in the Disney's animated version of Winnie the Pooh.

9. I have not taken the stage in an acting role since 1988 because the process of putting a play on the stage causes me incredible stress. The play? Sexual Perversity in Chicago.

10. Today is Mardi Gras, and I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be anyplace where celebrations are going on.

That’s it for today, mes amis. Laissez les bons temps rouler!

You are Making a Serious Mistake...

I received a letter from my father with the above opening in regards to my unwillingness to conspicuously celebrate Valentine's Day. The following is in reply to his letter. Please read and tell me if you honestly think this is the wrong viewpoint.

Dad,

I have always rejected the viewpoint that that chocolate and roses, alone, suffice to honor everything that love (especially married love) represents. Don't get me wrong. I wholeheartedly support expressions of love--especially love of family, love of friendship and love of ethics and fairness. It seems to me, however, that Valentine’s Day does not truly celebrate any of these. Worse than that, it demeans everything else I do on the other 364 days of the year to show my love for her by reinforcing, through a complete lack of creativity, spontaneity and sense of compassion, the mistaken view that love must somehow require expression that is soul-crushing and ego-defeating.

I am an idealist in many ways, but at heart I am a pragmatic person. I don't suffer foolishness gladly, especially the kind of foolishness Valentine’s Day sells wholesale, and I resent the suggestion that failing to acknowledge that foolishness somehow means I do not love my wife.

I've made no secret of my belief that having a day where romantic performance is paramount takes the focus off of real love and real issues between mates--job sharing, equal chances for respite and personal growth, support, loyalty and who the hell is making dinner tonight. Aren’t both of our names on the bills, anyway? My belief is not without some foundation in my marriage. I can say that my wife is way more turned on and reassured about my love when I clean the bathroom than I am when I bring her flowers. Don't get me wrong--I’m sure she loves the flowers, but she loves them much more when they come unexpectedly, and they carry more weight when I come to bed smelling a little like dish soap once in a while. A beautiful card means far more to her when I am an equal partner in parenting, and chocolates taste right when they were given to her while she feels she is getting support for her goals and interests within our loving relationship.

We need to stop holding out these "I would die without your love" fairy tales to young women and men (we could do the same for the adults, too, while we're at it) and start talking about the sort of love that we ought to be honoring and asking kids to aspire to. I’m talking about love that is good for the people who are in it and supports and encourages growth in both partners, which someone I read recently equated to the Valentine’s Day sort of love as whole grain bread equates to Twinkies.

I keep Valentine’s Day a mundane day, even in the currently awesome and enormous face of tradition, particularly where very impressionable little girls are concerned. I know that I sound more than a little antiestablishment, but I steadfastly maintain that this is appropriate here. I want my girls to understand how to celebrate love in general, not romantic love in specific, and, instead of just drawing pink hearts and singing "all you need is love", I want them to understand that, they are both going to be needing an education and life insurance, and that the streets are littered with women (and men) who bought the commercialized Valentine’s Day idea of love and ended up lost because it turned out that there was a lot of dirty laundry, bitterness and misunderstanding under all that frilly pink adoration.

Wifeness is working to make Valentine’s Day as much of a community affair as possible around here, and I enthusiastically support this approach. Her efforts to celebrate the “whole wheat” sort of love will, I hope, balance out that overwhelming tide of Twinkie love sweeping over them every day through pop culture. We’re both fans of real, whole love--the kind of love that makes for strong women who don't end up losing track of all of the dreams and hopes they had for their own lives because Valentine’s Day style love says that if you're in love that's all you need or, that if you still want things for yourself after you are in love, then you must not be in love enough. I want my daughters, (and everyone else’s kids, for that matter, because mine are going to need some well-adjusted people to marry) to have realistic expectations of love. I want them to know that the Valentine’s Day love isn't sustainable. It’s certainly not going to get you through taking out the garbage, losing your job or trying to raise children and do grad school at the same time. You need love with teeth for that.

Sure, my daughters will have their days where they will be knocked down and dragged through the snake pit of crushing romantic first love. We’ve all been there, and we run that gauntlet to learn something from the experience. They will likely get hurt and sob because they think they can't live without the object of their affection. I know this, and am preparing for it. All I'm trying to do by taking my stand as I have is to make sure that someday, when they gaze into their lovers eyes and the lacy and ruffled world of romantic love unfurls around them, that somewhere in the back of their heads is a little voice that says "Don't forget to have a bank account in your own name, Babycakes."

Does YOUR mechanic have WiFi?

We have this fella who’s been working on our cars pretty much since we moved back to New England 8 years ago. He’s a Honda specialist, but does a variety of other foreign models as well (including Subarus, which is what I drive now). In fact, both the vehicles we currently drive at Wayfarer House were purchased from Rich. Every once in a while, he has one for sale out front—something he’s looked at and thought was worthwhile to sell—and it has been the best experience to buy our cars from him. He doesn’t talk a whole lot, but he is forthright, honest, dependable--and he’s got wireless! In a mechanic, this is as good as it gets!

As it happens, I’m at Rich’s garage today getting my oil changed. I can do this because it is a snow day and all the schools in New England are closed. Well, I don’t know if that’s factually true, but I’ll put dollars to donuts that a goodly percentage cancelled today. The storm is a big nor’easter that will dump a lot of snow across most of this part of the country. It is the first major storm for most of New England and, as usual, people are freaking out. There is panic about the impending loss of power, hysteria that the roads will be impassible for months and frenzied efforts to stock up on food, fuel and potable water to last the rest of the cold, bitter winter.

Sweet Mary, mother of Jesus!

Can I just say, it’s not that bad. It’s snowing. The roads will be slippery today (I skated down here to the garage myself on the unplowed parts of the road, and my car as all-wheel drive). There may even be winds and snow together enough to qualify technically as a blizzard. So what? Drive slowly if you have to go out. If you have electric heat or cooking equipment, find your blankets and candles, and go cook stuff up now, so you have something yummy if you do lose power. This is what you’re supposed to do when a big storm hits. If you’ve lived in New England any amount of time, you know this. You’ve been through these before. You know what to do, and there is no reason to go nuts. This is not the worst storm we’ve ever seen, on any level.

I’m not sure I understand why this attitude of panic and alarm has taken hold. People have dealt with severe weather in New England every year since 1620. Most of those years, people have made it through just fine (1620 was a little rough, but then, Walmart wasn’t around at that point). Now, all of a sudden, in this modern age, we’re worried that we won’t make it. What the crap, people?!? The news reports don’t help this mania at all, making each storm sound as though it could qualify as the Storm of the Century and strategically placing reporters “on scene” to document, live and in living color, just how bad it is. Trust me when I say that the camera adds ten pounds, and it also adds 6 inches of snow and 15 miles per hour of wind.

By lunchtime Thursday, it’ll all be over. People will be plowed out. Power will be restored. Walmart will be open (if it ever even closed). Life will go on. For me, it will go on with new oil in my car. Thanks, Rich!

Update on Goals for 2007

Kizz did an update of her 107 in 2007 list. She asked how everyone else was doing on their New Year’s Resolutions and, rather than fill up her comments section, I thought I’d devote a post to it here. My list is [HERE], if you’d like to reference.

#1: The thesis progresseth. Can you say that five times fast?

#2, #3: No progress to report.

#4: I’ve been making focused efforts on the diet and exercise front since right after Christmas, and it is bearing fruit. Since I started, I’ve lost 15 lbs (which I’d gained back over the last year after losing it rapidly following my gallbladder surgery) and I’ve steadily seen my strength and endurance improve toward the level I need to do #6. It’s too cold to do as much outside as I would like, but I’ve been able to make good use of my bike (which is attached to a trainer) and my weights. At some point, I’ll have to find a way to get good swim training in, but I’m going to deal with that when the weather is a little warmer.

#5: I am ashamed to say I have not done this yet. I will do this soon. Valentine’s Day is coming up soon, isn’t it?

#6: …coming in August!

#7: …coming when it’s not arsefreezingcold!

#8: I’ve been meditating on the matter of compassion of late, but I’m not really ready to share my thoughts on it yet. I'm missing the time I spend with my I Ching stalks. They're a great meditation tool for me. It's just that they properly require a goodly expenditure of time to do properly, and #1 really has to take precedence for the time being.

#9: I wrote 18 posts in January, which is about two a week. I wish I had more time to write more than this but, with #1 still in play, this is about as good as it’s going to get for the time being. I think I’d like to be able to do 4 posts a week by summer.

#10: …A couple of papa/kid possibilities have presented themselves. It’s too early to make definitive plans, but I’m not the only dad who wants to do something like this with his child.

#11: Hells bells! I am NOWHERE NEAR thinking about anything that’s not an emergency on the home front. It’s only February, though, so I’m not stressed about it yet.

#12: I’m researching projects. I have some vague ideas.

#13: I haven’t taken the bag down yet, but I’m totally inspired by what I saw from the photography students! Some samples of their work are sprinkled throughout this post.

Thanks, Kizz, for keeping me mindful of this list! I hope you keep making good progress on yours!

Time for a list!

I’ll call it Expectations Friday.

1. Today is exam day. Friday’s are always exam days. If you have class with me and today is Friday, expect an exam. Your homework is due today, too, since you’ve undoubtedly forgotten, even though that happens every Friday, too.

2. It hasn’t been above freezing in this part of New England since January 30th. The weather reports are looking remarkably consistent for this time of year, saying in essence that I should not expect it to warm up for the foreseeable future.

3. I have a staff meeting today. I bring my laptop to these meetings so I can get work done because only about 10% of the meeting requires my direct, undivided attention. I expect I’ll be able to post this during the meeting (check the time at the bottom of the post to see if it’s between 3:00 – 4:30).

4. SiSi has discovered the joys of computer games. She has several that she cycles through now. I expect her to ask if she can play one when she gets home.

5. Along the lines of #4, above, I expect NiNi to pull up a chair next to the desk where SiSi is, climb up and sit with rapt attention as her sister plays her computer game. She shows no inclination to learn to play them herself; she’s quite content to watch, but she does so with full attention.

6. I expect I’ll have to wait until tonight to go for a walk. It’ll be frigid, but I won’t get the chance to go before then and I’ve been trying very hard to do something active every day. I’ve done a good job with this so far (I’ll post on this next time).

7. The pile of work I have to grade this weekend is a good 6 inches high. I expect I’ll be seeing two episodes of Saturday Night Live this weekend: The regular broadcast that comes on at 11:30 and the classic rerun that follows it at 1am.

8. A posting for the job of webmaster at my school has appeared. I’m thinking of applying. I’ve done it before. It’s pretty straightforward. It has several advantages, among them that I don’t have to fit it into my school day, and I can do it with my laptop. The pay isn’t bad either. I know from past experience, however, that this position will inevitably require a lot of hours, and the fact that it’s been capped at 90 hours from now until the end of the school year will mean little once it’s been set up for staff to use. I firmly expect that whoever ends up with the job to have to tell people, “It’s gonna have to wait till next year.”

9. Softball starts on Monday. So, too, will begin the sniveling at having to do strength training indoors because it’s too cold to practice outside. They’ve known it’s been coming since November, though. If they’ve kept up with their training, it won’t hurt nearly as much. I’ll bring the Icy Hot, though, just in case.

10. My battery is low. If I don’t plug my laptop in soon, I bet I'm going to lose pow…

The Order of the Phoenix

Sorry I’ve been away…

There’s always a little flurry of activity that surrounds the beginning of the spring semester, and I’ve been dealing with the myriad details that accompany that switch. I’ve also been trying to stay on top of my exercise, and I took a month a couple of days to read the 5th Harry Potter book in advance of the movie release.

I’ve been reading each of the Harry Potter books just as the movies come out. In part, this is because I’ve not really been able to take time to read for pleasure a whole lot the last several years. The bigger reason, though, is that I can only stand to read more than one book every couple of years, may Dumbledore have mercy on my soul.

Let me get it out there that I have none of the issues with the Harry Potter series that are commonly attacked by critics. I don’t see anything wrong with her kind of literature (and I do see it as literature), nor do I have any complaints about the content, message or popularity of her writing. I certainly do not believe that her use of witchcraft and wizardry constitutes a threat to Christianity. Hell, it barely constitutes a threat to reality!

On the whole, I have found the story of Harry Potter to be original, creative and full of detail--all the hallmarks of well-conceived fiction in my mind. Even great fiction, however, can become wearisome when stretched over seven books.

Here are my problems:

Over the five books I have read, the formula used to write the story has become formulaic to a degree I find horribly distracting. While it might be of comfort to some readers to know in advance what the plot devices are, it messes with my ability to willingly suspend my disbelief if I already know that, in any given book, Harry will be threatened with expulsion, that the three protagonists will have some sort of inane, trivial miscommunication and get angry at one another, that there will be a crisis at Hogwarts that somehow centers around the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher or that Draco Malfoy will be involved in some scheme to bully Harry and his friends. Great Argus Filch, will there be some break to this routine sometime?!

As the series has progressed, I’ve noticed that the pace of the books has slowed down considerably as less and less new information has been injected into the storyline. In the first book, a huge effort was made to introduce us to the many new and interesting things that were part of the wizarding world. As the story has moved forward, however, there has been less of the new and interesting which has not been adequately replaced by deepening knowledge of what is already there. This is especially true in character development. If you’re not going to show me more about the world I’m reading, I’m going to want a good deal more about the people living in it.

The fifth book took way too long to get to the point. It did not need all those pages to do tell the story it told. In fact, with all of them after the first, I finished the book with the feeling that I was not much further ahead in the story than I was when I started it. I get that there is some setup happening for the books that follow. I can appreciate that there’s a lot that needs to be saved for the end, but surely things could have been moved along in the story a little more briskly? I’m not talking about a Nimbus 2001 pace, now. Something more akin to the measured and slightly meandering pace of Pigwidgeon with a howler.

I started the fifth book with certain anticipations about where the story was going, but finished with such a sense of anticlimax about where it ended up. I offer as an example the whole Harry/Cho Affair. Harry’s been all about her since day one, but the entire subplot barely got off the ground before it fizzled like a wet sparkler from Zonko's Joke Shop. Another is the untimely departure of Sirius Black. He wasn’t around long enough or often enough for his death to carry all that much weight, and to kill him without any build up really left me wondering why she did it. Maybe there’s a reason for it that’ll make sense in the next book.

With the rest of my house chomping at the bit for the arrival of the final chapter in the epic, I expect I’ll have to read the rest of the series just so they can talk about it in the open. When the sixth book was released, they sniveled when I asked not to hear any spoilers. I’m not sure they’ll be able to keep their tongues once the last book comes out. I’m just hoping that, whenever I get around to reading it, I come away from The Half-Blood Prince feeling better than I do now about having invested time to read Harry Potter.

Some Groundhog Day journalism...

Dateline: Gobbler’s Knob, PA.

Punxsutawny Phil, the nation’s most famous weather oracle, has just announced that, due to the effects of global warning, winter will shortened to only 6 weeks on the East Coast in 2007. He regrets, however, that those living west of the Mississippi River will experience winter through July and that southern California will suffer its first ever blizzard as a result of El Niño. Furthermore, with the recent addition of AccuForecast©®™ subterranean doppler almanac forecasting technology, Phil and his team of prognosticators has been able to predict with a high degree of certainty that Hillary Rodham Clinton will be the cause of significant snowfall in Hell during the early winter of 2008.

These announcements come as Phil begins a national tour to promote his new book, “Driving Angry: One Groundhog’s Quest for Respect”, which is due in stores this week. The work, already expected to be a best-seller, is a tell-all biography that confirms many rumors about the rotund celebrity, including his affair with Groundhog Day co-star Andie MacDowell (“she wanted me to seduce her”) and his connection to Scientology. Phil’s engagements during the month of February include appearances on The Late Show with David Letterman and this week’s episode of Studio 60.

Punxsatawny Phil is a native of Pennsylvania, and holds degrees in Meteorology and Earth Science from the University of Pennsylvania. He resides at Gobbler’s Knob with his longtime companion, Geoffrey.

Europe 2008 is on!

It's agreed. The Wayfarer House family has decided to plan a trip to Europe sometime during the middle months of 2008, and we’ve all committed to start saving money. An account will be created in the next day or so where general monies can be deposited to keep them safe, and Wifeness and I will start doing research on costs and itinerary. At this point, we don’t have a firm decision on where to go, but we will likely end up somewhere on the Mediterranean (South of France/Italy/Spain).

It will be my family’s first trip to Europe since 2005, when my house and AuntieAlex went to England around Thanksgiving break. That trip was wonderful, but there was a lot of driving involved throughout the trip. We were on the road several days for as long as 6 hours, and it was exhausting after a while. This time, I’ve vowed that, while I don’t mind driving to get to where we’re going (I’d love to drive from Paris to Rome, for example), I have no desire to go on extended outings once we’re settled. All I want to do on this trip is sit with my laptop, some books and a sketchbook. I’d love to take my bike, too, but that’s probably too much to hope for. The point is, I want to relax. That’s not to say that I won’t play with my kids or be part of the group when they want to go exploring. That’s relaxing, too. I just want to have plenty of downtime built in (see the previous post for the importance of downtime).

We’ve talked about renting a villa for a week so we can have space for everyone, save some money on food and accommodation. That’d be fun, and probably the most convenient option for this particular trip. Were it just my family, who are experienced travelers, we would do just fine with B&Bs. It’s a very interactive way to travel, and I love feeling like I’m part of someone’s family. Maeve and Caleb’s family, however, is not skilled at the kind of travel we’ll be doing for this trip, so a place to stay that will allow their children more free reign makes the most sense.

I’m really excited about this! I have been missing Europe since we got back from England. I miss France, especially. Maeve and I would be quite happy getting off the plane at Charles de Gaulle and not going more than 20 miles beyond that. She’s always wanted to see Paris, and I could be quite content to spend time there, if that were the only option. Would you like to come? With all of us included, there will be 5 adults, 3 fare-paying children and an infant. Two more, and we qualify for group fares through the airline! It’ll be an experience you’ll treasure for the rest of your life, I promise.

All by myself...

The womenfolk of Wayfarer House were away this weekend. They went to visit Nana and stay overnight. Wifeness does this for me every few months so I can have focused time for graduate school. I can get a lot of work done at night, after the house has gone to bed, but it takes a toll after a while. This time gives me the chance to reset my biorhythms and actually clear my head of the 10,000 chattering monkeys so I can get some real work done.

This got me to thinking about another contradiction about myself. I am a solitary person and greatly value my time alone, but I absolutely love it when the house is full of people. One of the reasons I work late at night (apart from the fact that it’s the only time I have in quantity) is the solitude. The house is quiet and I can get my dose of what a child I know once called “lonely time”. Yet, I don’t feel right if I’m not surrounded by people regularly, either. They don’t have to be people I know. I absolutely love going to the coffee shop downtown to mingle with people, wandering the mall (especially on days like Black Friday) or being in airports. Of course, it’s also really nice to be around people I know and love. I feel a wonderful sense of peace sitting in my classroom when it’s full of students, going out to movies with lots of people and doing New Year’s Eve at our house every year.

Which are you? Are you a lone wolf, or are you sociable? One of the best tests I’ve every taken on this topic is the Jung typology test. It covers more than introversion/extroversion, but it’s fairly accurate for me. If you’d like to take an online version of the test, [click here].