Monday, December 15, 2008

Will you 10,000 monkeys shut the hell up?!?

The kitchen is full of people, and I can’t get in to fill the dishwasher. That’s ok. I needed to post for today, anyway.

Today, it was 54ºF. I don’t think I can tell you just how good it felt to my psyche to be outside in that weather. I ran for 4 miles after classes and it hurt and healed at the same time. For those of you only just getting back into your homes, I am very, very sorry. I feel guilty that I kinda needed it so bad.

I sat down with myself last night and meditated on my goals and what I wanted and needed to do to achieve them. I have to admit it was hard to do that. I have been in a funk for a good week, and anyone who knows what that feels like will agree that getting out of one is a whole lot harder than getting into one. It was hard to focus, and more than once I thought it might be better if I just went ahead to sleep. I’ve learned from past experience, though, that if I just keep going back to the thing I’m supposed to be contemplating, eventually one of two things happens: I either achieve clarity (that is, the distractions sort of fade out), or I reach a point where the distractions become the thing I realize I need to focus on. The latter was more the case last night. Mostly, it came down to knowing I needed to get up and start doing. OK, fine. What’s in the way, then? I made a list of stuff. I took care of a bunch of it today during school. I’ll start on some more tonight. I’ll try not to let the list get in the way of the goals (that’s a lot like missing the forest for the trees), but I need to work through the distractions to get to a point where I can go back to actually contemplating the big picture. I’m not all the way there yet, but already I feel much more like I should today for having taken the time to get inside my head.

2 comments:

Mrs. Chili said...

This is some crazy-ass weather. It's not supposed to get much above freezing today, and we hit nearly 60 yesterday. Sigh.

Laurie B said...

Just like the big bear, we have to give our shoulders a good shake to be sure that we are ready to hibernate.
That, and knowing what to eat and when. Good work.