Scenes from a Job Site...

Scene One

“Hey, Papa! Can I help you measure?”

“Sure, kiddo. C’mere.”

Hands child the end of the tape measure.

“Hold it right there, k? “

“You mean like this?”

“Yes, just like that.”

“Can I hold it this way if I want.”

“Uh, sure. Hold it any way you like, so that this part touches right here.”

Runs out tape measure, looking to make sure kiddo is holding the other end in the proper place.

“Um, honey? Where are you supposed to be holding your end?”

Kiddo, absorbed with some other childhood activity, looks down.

“Oh. Right here. Sorry, Papa. What’s the number, Papa?”

“The number??”

“Yeah. The number on the tool.”

“Oh! You mean the measurement on the tape. It’s 79 inches. Can you remember that for me?”

“Sure! 79. Seventy-nine. Seeeeeeeeeventy-niiiiiiiiine. Nineninenineninenine…”

Kiddo wanders off. Papa writes number down because he knows what’s about to happen. Kiddo comes back.

“Papa, what did you say that number was?”

Scene Two

Smaller kiddo appears, holding ear protectors.

“Papa, can I wear your headphones?”

“Sure. Just don’t run off with them, k?”

“OK.”

Kiddo puts ear protectors on, resumes fantasy play involving a stick and a toy cell phone. Papa goes back to work. Two minutes later…

“NiNi, I need my headphones. NiNi... NiNi... NINI!!!”

Scene Three

“Papa, can we hammer something?”

Papa looks around. Spies part of the porch that needs to have nails set.

“Sure. Here, you can try and hammer these nails in. Do you each have your hammers?”

Kiddos proudly display hammers.

“OK. Go to town.”

Kiddos throw themselves into the act.

BANGBANGBANGETYBANGBANGETYbangBANGbangetyBANGbangtapbangtaptappabangtaptaptappa…taptap…taptap…tappa…tap.

“Papa, we’re done.”

Papa inspects, and determines that no progress whatsoever has been made. In fact, it is entirely possible that the nails have actually been driven OUT of the boards.

“Good job, you guys.”

“Papa, we’re tired and hungry. Can we get a snack?”