Tuesday, February 20, 2007

10 Things Tuesday—Wayfarer Edition

This tradition started with Chili, but when Kizz said she was thinking about jumping on the bandwagon, I said I’d join. Here is my first installment. Because it is the first one, it’s full of random observations.

1. When my wife and I play Rummy, she always (no, really, always) kicks my ass. If we play Scrabble, the opposite is true. When the game is Trivial Pursuit, no matter which edition we play, it always comes down to who gets the better final question. If she gets a Sports & Leisure question that has to do with potent potables, she wins. If I get an Entertainment question about the Muppets, the game is mine.

2. I have used the same razor since I turned 13. It’s an Atra and it still works perfectly. Along those same lines, I have used the same deodorant (Old Spice Classic) and worn the same jeans (Levi’s) since that same time.

3. According to a quiz I took recently, I am the 233,913,044th richest person in the world. Impressively, this still puts me in the top 4% of all people worldwide in terms of wealth. Sadly, despite all this wealth, my net worth is still less than the value of a cup of coffee.

4. Is there anyone in the world who can honestly deny that Dennis Haysbert’s voice is among the most mesmerizing on television? I’m a perfectly straight guy, and his voice makes me wet!

5. I have an internal timer in my body that will alert me exactly when rice is done. I have no clue how it works, but this same timer will also wake me up at the exact time I want to when I take a nap.

6. I eat a wide and varied diet, but I have serious psychosomatic aversions to three foods: Watermelon, root beer and wheat grass juice. The taste or smell of any of these will trigger a gag reflex.

7. I do not own a gun, but I do own (and can use) several varieties of knives, including a diving knife, a kukri, two throwing knives, two Swiss Army knives and a t’ai chi sword. The last of these is decorative, but all the others are honed sharp enough to shave with.

8. I can imitate a huge number of accents and voices, but I still cannot properly speak like any of the characters in the Disney's animated version of Winnie the Pooh.

9. I have not taken the stage in an acting role since 1988 because the process of putting a play on the stage causes me incredible stress. The play? Sexual Perversity in Chicago.

10. Today is Mardi Gras, and I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be anyplace where celebrations are going on.

That’s it for today, mes amis. Laissez les bons temps rouler!


Suzanne said...

I know of at least two events that negate your assertion in #9. One was in June of 2001 and the other in September of that same year.

And I might join you on "Ten Things Tuesday" next week. That will at least add one post a week.

Wayfarer said...

Forgive me, my darling; I meant to say "serious" acting role--that is to say, one which is part of a full stage production. The events you refer to were skits, neither of which required investment in the production as a whole nor significant preparation, so I didn't count them.

For the rest of you, the first event to which Suzanne refers was a small murder mystery performed during my college's alumni weekend. In that production, I was "dead" on the stage for half the skit. The second was a SNL skit that I did with some of my students for a talent show event at school. It was fun to only have to pay attention to one 3-minute bit and, since I ad-libbed the lines each time, there was very little strain on my ability to memorize lines.

mrschili said...

Your internal timer was always a wonder to me. I don't know how the hell it works, but it's freaky in its accuracy.

I'm with you on Dennis Haysbert...

JRH said...

Yes, but are your Levis the same size?

Wayfarer said...

Ahhh, well, you have me there, jrh! As it happens, my Levi's have changed in two ways since I bought my first pair: They have changed from generic 500s to 550s (for a better fit in the thighs), and they have gone from a 30" waist to a 34 (down from several years at an embarrassing 36). I don't expect ever to fit into 30" jeans again, but once I get my innertube down to size, it may be that 32s would be comfortable. The comfort is the thing, though.

And I must again offer a correction on #9. Wifeness reminded me on the phone today that I neglected to consider my work for the Vermont Renaissance Festival. I was the Guilfordshire's barber/surgeon in 2001.