The Dilemma of Oral Hygiene

First, to my students: I'd like to apologize if I offended any of you by standing too close. I was not ignoring my dragon breath; I just didn't have time to slay it while you were there.

I should explain.

Because of its 50-minute commute, my morning routine rarely allows me the time to eat breakfast and enjoy my coffee properly so I can clean my teeth before I get to school. Thus, it is often the case that I have to deal with it when the flow of the day allows for it (sometimes, even during class). I keep a toothbrush, toothpaste and some mouthwash in my desk for just this eventuality. I keep lots of weird things in my desk. Maybe I'll do a 10 Things post on that someday...

Anyway, I really hate when I don't get the chance to brush because I feel like I'm breathing coffee breath (or worse) all over my students.  Plus, I feel better (and probably teach better) when I'm all minty fresh.  There are days, though, when, despite my best efforts, it just doesn't happen until later in the day.  Listerine® and Trident® help a little, but neither is really an all-day fix.  It's a daily challenge to keep a minty fresh face.

Disappointingly, today was not a minty fresh day. I walked in the door and it was non-stop stuff: Meetings, teaching, the 48 conversations that take place in the hallway as I'm going to one or the other. Like many of my days, it was a challenge today to find time to take a deep breath, let alone dig out my toothbrush.

I had to be at school a little while after the students left this afternoon to work on a college recommendation for one of my seniors. I waved good-bye to them as they left, had the standard 48 conversations on the way to my classroom and planted myself at my desk. I realized at that moment that I actually had time to take a deep breath. That led quickly to the realization that I needed to get right back up and, with my Reach and my Tom's of Maine, make my way to the sink.

I returned much better able to focus on the recommendation, and I'm sure the student for whom I'm writing it will appreciate that I did so with a clean, fresh face.

It was a better recommendation, I'm sure.

The image above is from animator Jeff Robinson. He is working on a short film project titled Eye Like Pizza. He has a production blog [HERE]. This is one of his main characters.

10 Things Tuesday -- Holiday Traditions

Although much of the luster has faded from the celebration of Xmas, there are certain elements of this holiday (and others) that very definitely make them more meaningful and enjoyable. Here are ten of them:

1) Black Friday. I don't start thinking about Xmas until after Thanksgiving is done with but, when the time is right, I like to jump into it with both feet! I have a tradition of going out early-ish on Friday morning, getting breakfast and heading to the mall. I don't do this to take advantage of sales or do any real shopping; I just go out to immerse myself in the spirit of the season. And people watch! I love to just watch people do their thing at the mall, and rarely are there more people to watch than on the day of Thanksgiving. NOTE: I did not get the chance to do that this year because we were with my folks, which might account (at least in part) for why my attitude toward the holidays is so subdued.

2) Evenings until Christmas Day. Sitting in the softly lit living room with Theo all dressed up (Theo is our ficus tree, who doubles as our Xmas tree), listening to good holiday music or watching It's a Wonderful Life just radiate all the best things of the season.

3) New Year's Eve and New Years Day. Wifeness and I have been celebrating our anniversary with the Wayfarer Community on this date for 432 years (give or take), and it has taken on a life of its own. We've done a culinary theme for many years, we (those who have stayed up) always go outside just at midnight to quietly wish each other a special year ahead (going back inside almost immediately because it's arsefreezing cold outside), and then there's Fatty's. It's a wonderful, special way to commemorate our year of wedded bliss!

4) Chinese New Year. Of course, we bring in all manner of Chinese food, and our little lion does its annual dance of blessing (complete with lion dance music). It's nothing like what you'd see in Chinatown, but our humble way of paying homage to the culture of Shaolin helps keep our house connected to some very important and special people.

5) Memorial Day Weekend. This weekend marks the unofficial start of summer at Wayfarer House and, as such, the beginning of the grillage season, as well. For me, personally, it's also the beginning of the long and exhausting annual trek that is my school year.

6) Graduation Night. I wear a tie only twice a year for my job, for Parent's Night (but not the last two years because I've run straight from the soccer pitch to the classroom) and Graduation Night. Graduation at my school is special for a lot of reasons, but this is the day that I say a formal good-bye to my students. I give them hugs, tell them I love them and reiterate that, although my role as their classroom teacher may have ended, I am still there to support them in any way I can. I'm very honored by the number of alumni who continue, even years later, to renew, expand and strengthen their relationship with me into something mature and reciprocal. It is a testament to the value of connecting with students as people first.

7) Father's Day. On this day for many years, Wifeness' family gets together at a local lakeside camp for the annual lobster feed. The big table is unfurled (seriously, this table is like 15 feet long!) and everyone brings a dish, their lobster (or other food, as desired)... In recent years, I've taken to biking from Wayfarer House to the lake for this event (a hilly trip of some 30 miles). It's two hours of nothing but me and the quiet sounds of country roads, which is really about the best way to celebrate being a papa.

8) Fourth of July. The other gathering day at the lakeside camp, but without the lobster. I bike to the lake this day, too, usually, and the water is usually warmer by then, so there is more swimming.

9) Family Reunion. The second weekend in August is always set aside for this event. Its location and attendance vary according to the year, but it's an opportunity for all of that branch of Wifeness' family to come together and renew their ties. My family has no such traditions, and I'm grateful that my girls are able to be part of this. It strengthens their concept of family and encourages other, less dedicated members of the bunch that to be active members.

10) Thanksgiving. Regardless of where it's celebrated, the chance to get together with family (given and chosen) and appreciate all that I have is special. And sure, copious amounts of turkey and football are great, too!

Holidays and Politics

I've come to the conclusion that I'm oversaturated with two rather seasonally ubiquitous things:

Holidays: It's not so much that I'm done with Xmas (although, to be sure, I'm slowly heading in that direction). Rather, it has to do with the fact that, more than ever before, Santa has stomped all over every other holiday from Columbus Day to Hanukkah and, in doing so, overwhelmed mind and media with the narcissistic belief that if it's not red and white, it just isn't worthy. Add to that this year's theme "Let's celebrate fanaticism!" which seems (to me, at least) like business and advertising are promoting unrestrained, extremist shopping behavior as an appropriate social value, and I have reached the point where my tolerance for (nay, hypersensitivity to) the high level of mania that is now deemed acceptable in the name of the holiday season has left my soul exhausted and my eye twitchy. I've written a letter expressing my support of Nordstrom's decision to wait until after Thanksgiving to put on their Xmas face and I'm doing my best to quietly, subtly suggest that the mainstream needs to take a step back. I cannot be the only one dismayed at the direction our holiday season is headed, but I worry that it will get much worse before it gets better.

Politics: The 2012 election season started right after the 2010 congressional elections ended, and this smacked of a blatant attempt by both parties, but especially the Republicans, to turn the Race to the Whitehouse into some kind of drama rich reality show, full of drama and completely devoid of any value whatsoever except as a diversion. Such premature agitation of the nation's political waters would seem to serve no useful benefit, and risks wearing out the voting public by overexposing it to a near constant stream of daily phone calls, issue ads and proclamations that the nation is "on the wrong track" (a statement made, as it happens, at election time by the minority party in every presidential contest since my birth). It has certainly pushed me, as a devout and passionate independent, to the point where I avoid any mention of politics in the media and steadfastly shun discussion of the topic during conversation (teachable moments with my students excepted). It's not that I do not have opinions about the issues facing our nation. It's not that I am an apathetic participant in our democratic process. It is simply that I have seen so little substantive dialog among either the candidates or the gaggle of pundits that dissect their every syllable that to follow the noise would amount to a colossal waste of my time. I intend to check the waters again after the primaries (as an independent, I don't vote in primaries, so I have that luxury). When the field is narrowed to two (or more, I'd like more), I'm hoping that someone on the dais has something intelligent to say. If not, I'm quite happy to turn off the tv and unplug the phone.

Are you oversaturated by something? 

Quotes of the Week: From the Archives

Even though it's been a while since I've posted them, I've been collecting quotes quite steadily for a year. Here are some I've set aside to share...

"I'm this close to rocking my Patriots snuggie to work tomorrow morning." Ashley, our new local television meteorologist, who is clearly a dyed-in-the-wool New Englander.

“Why would you even think that?” Karly, questioning why I was about to admonish her for socializing instead of practicing her French when I saw her pull up a chair to a classmate and get comfortable with a cup of tea.

“His success made him almost a bigger story than the World Cup itself. We may decide to give Paul his own small burial plot within our grounds and erect a modest permanent shrine. While this may seem a curious thing to do for a sea creature, Paul achieved such popularity during his short life that it may be deemed the most appropriate course of action.” Stefan Porwoll, manager of the Oberhausen Sea Life Center in Germany that housed Paul, the octopus that fascinated the world by correctly predicting results at this past summer’s World Cup soccer tournament.

“Yep.” Emily (RIP), after taking a random mouth guard from off the bench and putting it straight into her mouth to see if it was hers.

“Is there too much granola in this room for you?” Loris, questioning someone’s “hippie tolerance quotient”.

“I’m thinking of imposing an hourly limit.” Wifeness, on the number of questions asked by the children.

"Well, it's a rather complicated proccess. First, I go and get a paper plate, plastic knife, plastic fork, and napkin. I unpeel the entire banana and place it on a plate. Then I cut it up into tiny slices using the knife (and leave the banana on the plate still in its relative banana shape). Next, I proceed to pick up each slice of banana with my fork and consume it. In this manner of banana consumption I don't feel rushed by the peel and do not get my hands all yucky (of course, I have a napkin if that does happen.)" Joanna, on her particular method for enjoyng bananas.

“Do you have scissors and glue? I need to make fire.” Lindsay.

"GAAAARGHGHGH! That’s my noise of very frustration!" Ella. ‎

“How do you say benefits?” One of the many seemingly random questions I receive during my classes that are assiduously ignored (in this case, because the whispered discussion I overheard that immediately preceded it involved the word 'friend').

“What if I know what the word is in Hebrew? Can I put that?” Jonah, during a Spanish exam.

“They smelled like past.” NiNi, describing the stuffed animals she recently discovered while poking around the attic.

“It's time for some thrilling heroics.” Jayne Cobb, from the series Firefly.

“I stopped a lot of balls. It hurt.” Jake, a first-grader, at the end of a first soccer match as a goalie.

Happy week, everyone!

Today's timeline...

2:00am Alarm goes off. Pitch black. Must get up.

3:00am Bags in car. Wifeness, children up. Eating something. Ready to drive an hour to Pensacola to catch our flight. Mom coming, too (she'll drive the car back).

4:05am Mom drives off.

4:06am Wifeness realizes her wallet is not in her luggage. Brief drama ensues.

4:13am Wheel breaks on Wifeness' luggage. Brief drama ensues, followed by exasperated phrase, "Really?!"

4:45am Through security (who lets Wifeness through, despite having no identification). At the gate. How is it possible that every, single flight we take goes in and out from the gate farthest from the entrance?

5:25am SiSi's water bottle leaks on her and her carry-on bag as she finds her seat on the plane. Brief drama ensues.

5:30am Wheels up. NiNi sits next to Papa and chats at regular intervals throughout the flight, breaking Papa's concentration as he tries very hard to control his motion sickness. Airsick bags are located, but are not required.

7:45am Arrival in Atlanta. Connection to Boston is at the other end of the airport at (once again) the farthest gate possible. The long walk begins.

7:55am Arrival at Gate A32,741. Several among the group decide to visit the bathroom just as the intercom announces boarding for next leg of the journey. Brief drama ensues. Intercom announces the wrong flight. Ours is NOT boarding at this time, after all. Again, the exasperated phrase, "Really?!"

8:35am Wheels up. Wifeness and children are seated separately, so Papa sleeps to alleviate the worst of his motionsickness.

9:30am Zzzzzzz.... *snork* "Beverage, sir?" So much for sleep. Airsick bags located, but are not required.

11:10am Arrival in Boston. The long walk from Gate 2.39x10³ begins.

11:18am Pitstop at Starbuck's. $40 for coffee? Whatever. Just give me that mocha goodness.

12:10pm On the bus to Newburyport. It's nearly as warm in New England as it was on the Gulf Coast! Kids sit by themselves, so Wifeness and I get to sit together. Airsick bag (stolen from plane) is located, but not required.

1:20pm Arrival in Newburyport. Switch to minivan. Just a little farther to go.

1:45pm Arrival at MomnDad's. Will decompress here for the day and leave for Wayfarer House tomorrow. A wise choice. That airsick bag was starting to look awfully inviting.

2:30pm Zzzzzzz....

How I spent our trip to Alabama...

Engaging in long discussions with my father over pipe and coffee.

Watching him build a table with plywood, dowels, glue, paper, resin, bondo and a log from a nearby tree (when asked years ago why he did things like that, he simply said, "Well, nobody else is doing it.")

Listening to my mother talk about how wonderful my children are, and how Wifeness and I are such great parents. I think she is genuinely in awe of this, and that she could have somehow contributed to this is a source of constant surprise to her. I don't know why. My folks may not have been the paragon of exceptional parents, but they did an excellent job of modeling for their children what a loving house should strive to be. Their example, and the fact that my youth was notably devoid of drama, neglect or abuse, gave me a good sense for what the ideal of parenthood is supposed to be -- and that it is not the same for everyone.

Watching both of my parents rediscover their grandchildren. They see them so rarely that the kids have changed completely between visits, and are entirely different people each time. I'm sure they'd like to be a greater part of their lives, they enjoy seeing how much they've grown each time.

Appreciating that, as older people, they do not have the endurance for the busy, always-on-the-go lifestyle we lead. Although I think it's good (especially for my mom) to be more active, the level of energy in our world is much higher than it is in theirs, and they don't maintain the higher level well for long. Even their dog takes more naps when we're around!

Trying not to roll my eyes while my father tries to convince me that buying a double-wide mobile home is the smartest financial decision one could make.

Arguing with my mother about the amount of (unnecessary) cleaning she's doing, just because we're here.

Realizing that my parents are getting older, and wondering how many more times their grandchildren will get to see them before they die.

Hoping that, as I hug them good-bye, that it will be at least one more.

A Day for Recognition and Thanks

The fourth principle of Shen Gung is simply to say, “thank you”. It is a reminder to recognize that our place in the universe is not entirely (or even in large part) of our making. Rather, we are here as we are because of countless blessings and help of myriad parts of the universe. To be sure, our choices matter; without them the universe cannot act on our behalf. Yet, it is important to acknowledge that our karma (what we are here to do) cannot properly be achieved single-handedly.

Today is the day in American culture when we take time to appreciate that which we might otherwise take for granted. In no particular order, I offer the following:

My family, both given and chosen. The distinction between the family we are born to and the family we create is a subtle one in my world. That the latter should take a place of honor equal to the former is a concept that many people either do not truly understand, or else reject out of hand as detrimental to the survival of traditional ideas like blood lineage and property ownership. I understand this concern, but since I place a higher value on relationships than I do either ancestry or property, it is appropriate that I should honor the relationships that have made my life so rich, healthy and content.

My profession. I knew from a very early age that I wanted to teach, and I am blessed to have found so quickly a job that allows me to challenge myself to do the things that I value most -- to build quality relationships, to think critically about how people achieve their best and to develop a unique style of sharing what I know that helps people to find purpose, contentment and motivation to discover who they are.

My health. I am not the picture of perfect health. My waistline continues to be broader than it should be. My thyroid is dying, and my gallbladder is already dead and (thankfully) gone. I have plantar faciitis that is taking its good, sweet time clearing up. But last year I biked 250 miles up the middle of the Green Mountains. The two years before that I competed in intermediate distance triathlons (a hobby I very much look forward to continuing for many years). The year before that I biked 400 miles. That I am able to do these things even in my imperfect state of health is a blessing, and I am grateful (and a little amazed) that I have so much that I can do -- and even improve at.

My nationality. I am not often proud of the way my government represents me, but I am very much aware that I am a citizen of one of the richest, most technologically advanced nations in the world and that such membership, to quote American Express, has its privileges. I have the freedom to say so when my government embarrasses me and the right to vote my convictions. I have the resources to do amazing things with my life and I am protected by dedicated military and civilian forces in the process of pursuing those things. I have power and prestige as an American and, although I don’t value these things terribly, it is undeniable that they make my life much more comfortable than it would be otherwise.

Technology, and my access to it. I have a laptop. So does my wife. In fact, Wayfarer House has within its walls a computer for every individual who lives there. I have a blog and a Facebook page. We have WiFi. We have the ability to watch more TV on our computers than we do on the actual TV (I’m pretty sure we do this). We have access to a projector and good, loud speakers, and we can use these things to host drive-in style movie nights during the warmer months. We have, among us, more than one digital music player per person (I have the two smallest, oldest ones). Everyone over 16 has a car. I have a snowblower. I have power tools. There is a washer and dryer, and a dishwasher. These are all marvels that did not exist 100 years ago. Hell, the Internet didn’t properly exist 20 years ago! That I enjoy these things today is nothing less than astounding, and I am grateful for them and their contribution to a life of comfort and convenience.

My mad ninja-like skills. I can cook. I can write fairly well. I can pull a J-turn. I can fix damn near anything. I can do a crossword just by hearing it. I can speak six different languages and imitate accents from at least another dozen. I can tell you pretty much anything about you after sitting down with you for an hour of conversation. I can light a fire without matches. I can whistle a decent jazz improv piece. I can bike a loooong way. I can teach you how to solve an algebraic equation with your body. I can track a variety of wildlife. I can bend a corner kick into the net past a goalie. OK. Maybe some of these aren’t what you might call widely applicable, but they’ve all helped me out at some point in my life and so I am thankful for them.

The wisdom that has come from my experience. I was talking to a colleague and we were reflecting on just how much we have come to know that our students -- even our most gifted and motivated -- simply haven’t come to. We have learned so much just by being on the planet for 40 years! It makes me wonder what I’ll have learned in the next 40!

I hope that, whatever it is you are thankful for, you take the time today to honor it. Then go to bed early.. Black Friday sales start early, people!

Dear Bessie...

I've tried calling you, like, 4,812,906 times and no one answers. This means:

a) You're dead.
b) You're hiding.
c) You're so goddamn busy that you don't have time to answer the phone.
d) You've moved and haven't unpacked the phone.
e) You've moved and decided that you really didn't like having a phone.
f) You've suffered a head trauma and have forgotten how to answer the phone.
g) You've changed your number.
h) I've been dialing the wrong damn number the last 4,812,906 times.
i) You've perpetrated violence against your daughter, but in the process wounded yourself, so you're not able to reach the phone to answer it because you're bleeding out slowly on your new living room carpet.
j) The phone company is accidentally routing your calls to Czechoslovakia, where it's too late at night for any reasonable person to answer the phone when I call.

Please select any/all that apply and return to sender.

Sincerely,

Wayfarer

Halftime Huddle

Ain't we a motley looking crew?

Photo Credit: Jill (from her Facebook album)

10 Things Tuesday: Lines Unbidden

I was reading something from a student yesterday that contained the phrase, “...then he did something unexpected...” No sooner did I read that line than, into my head, unbidden, came the phrase, “...and then something happened the Ring did not expect.”

Have you ever had that happen to you?

I mean, there I was just minding my own business and -- Pow! Right out of nowhere it came and, once it was in there, it was all I could think about. It got so bad that I was nearly to the point of loading up The Fellowship of the Ring just to watch that part so I could get it out of my head.

This got me to thinking of other such lines or quotes from movies that come into my brain like that. Once I started thinking about it, I realized there were quite a few. I've picked 10 from among them to share. Some of them are from movies you probably know. Others, maybe not. Test yourself! I’ll give a prize to someone who gets them all (don’t ask me what, though).

1. This pops into my head every single time my wife starts the blender for her smoothie in the morning.

“Oh, yeah. You blend.”

2. How many times do you tell kids to watch what they’re doing? Very often, this line follows such an admonition on my part. (and it comes with a particular Chicagoan accent)

“You’re being careful, aren’t you.”

3. It doesn’t happen often that I lose my keys anymore, but every time I go looking for them this plays in my head. Maybe it’s an unconscious incentive to find them quickly.

“Haven't you ever lost your keys, Dr. Bronx?

4. Although not strictly from movies, this quote often comes into my brain with the image of pointy ears and a raised eyebrow.

“Fascinating.”

5. No one from the generation of my students recognizes this quote when we’re playing games like Pictionary, but I’m reminded of it a lot.

“Baby fish mouth! Baby fish mouth!”

6. I don’t know why, but I hear this in my head a lot whenever my students come into the classroom sniveling about their weekly exam. Perhaps it’s because it’s said in a snivelly voice.

“But I was going into Toshi Station to pick up some power converters!”

7. This quote follows any song by the Rolling Stones, but also any time someone says something unintelligible to me twice in a row.

“Speak English, Mick!”

8. Related to #7, this pops up whenever I can’t hear someone well, even after they’ve repeated themselves. It’s best repeated with an Hispanic accent.

“Ah, Jonathan! You sound so far away!”

9. Back when I had Max on my soccer team, this quote came to mind every time I yelled to him from across the soccer field. I don’t have Max now, but it still comes regularly when I’m trying to get someone’s attention during a game, especially (and for no particular reason) during corner kicks.

“Max! Follow that frog.” [Car zooms off ...] “Max!” [Brakes screech. Car reverses...] “Follow that frog, with me in the car!”

10. Finally, before many endeavors runs perhaps the most famous lines ever uttered from Billy Crystal and Carol Kane.

“Bye bye, boys!”
“Have fun storming the castle!”
[whispering] “Do you think it’ll work?”
[whispering] “It would take a miracle.”
“Buh bye!”

Monday Meme: Stolen from Stolen

Judd, over at Sunday Stealing contacted me a while back to say that he’d “stolen” my Monday Meme from a couple of weeks ago. I checked out his site and found lots of other memes with lots of other bloggers’ responses, which is great because I’m always interested to read what other people have to say. What you’ll read below was originally(?) stolen by Judd from Emily Barton’s blog Telecommuter Talk. I’m stealing it from her, through Judd, to use today.

TIME TRAVELLER MEME

Emily's rules state the following to get you started:
-- Depending on your age, go back 10, 15, 20, or even more years.
-- Tell how many years back you have traveled and why.
-- Pretend you have met yourself during that era, and tell us where you are.
-- You only have one "date" with this former self.
-- Answer the questions below.

0. Okay, as we start, what year is it and how old are you? My younger self is 21, and it is the same date twenty years ago (or as near to it as I can recall clearly). My younger self is living in New Hampshire and working at a budget hotel chain near the seacoast. He is newly married, recently graduated and feeling much like he's starting out on an adventure. Ironically, this is not far from the truth, but his adventure--like many adventures--will take him places he would never have imagined. I think the best place for us to meet would be a little breakfast place right in downtown Portsmouth. It's no longer there but, twenty years ago, it was a wonderful place to sit and converse over eggs and coffee. He would know it well.

1. Would your younger self (YYS, from here) recognize you when you first meet? Well, I have shorter hair and a beard now, but I’m about the same body type (though I’m much fitter now than my younger self would be). My eyes are, I think, as distinctive a feature as they were then (this was pointed out to me this past weekend when, not once but twice, people looked at me with recognition after having not seen me in several years). I'd probably look a lot like my dad to his eyes.

2. Would YYS be surprised to discover what you are doing job wise? No, but I think my younger self would be very surprised by the route I took to get there. He would undoubtedly wonder why it took so long, and why the hell I’d moved to Las Vegas. To explain to him that I fell into a short-lived career in graphic arts in Sin City before finally becoming a teacher would require some time to do well, and to do it without telling him things he shouldn't know about his near future would be challenging.

3. What piece of fashion advice would you give YYS? Fashion advice?? From ME?? He’d know better than to accept it, I think. He'd already know that he could wear more colors than black, white, blue and grey (something my 16 year old self was afraid to explore), but since my wardrobe now is much like it was then, I'd have little to offer. I only thing I can even come up with to go with footie (below-the-ankle) socks sooner. He'd appreciate that. Oh, and I'd tell him to stock up on Champion® 90/10 sweatshirts whenever he can. They get harder to find.

4. What do you think YYS is most going to want to know? Is there a Community School yet?

5. How would you answer YYS's question? With a sigh. I'd explain that it's moving forward, if at a glacial pace. I'd explain that, even though it's not established yet, more and more building blocks are in place. I'd explain that there's a lot to learn first because no one else has done such a thing before (he would not believe this), but that I'm feeling more and more confident of late that, when it's off and running, it will succeed well. That's truly what both of us want.

6. What would probably be the best thing to tell YYS? Start studying Buddhism now. It’ll make a lot of sense to you and will put you in the right mind to do life well as you get older. Don't be afraid to do what you need to in order to realize the the potential of your life. Your fear will cost you valuable time and make things much more complicated.

7. What is something that you probably wouldn't tell YYS? What’s going to happen in the next few months. It’s important that it happens, but, even though it will be painful, it’s important that he not know it’s coming. He'd try to change it, and that would just make it that much more frustrating. It's supposed to happen. It needs to happen for all that follows to come to pass.

8. What do you think will most surprise YYS about you? That I’m married to my wife now and not my wife then. That story would be most interesting to tell my younger self, but only after he’s a little older. Lots of people have heard the story of that time of my life, but only he would understand and appreciate all the nuances. There's just a lot about that story that can't properly be shared.

9. What do you think will least surprise YYS? That our kids are the wonderful brand of weird that they are. Seriously, he knew that train was coming back around to the station sooner or later.

10. At this point in your life, would YYS like to run into "you" from the future? It is my hope that I'm modeling well the people in my world whose way of being is patient, compassionate, wise, strong and centered. I know that I have always appreciated those qualities in people. I’d be very interested to hear from my younger self (and any of you) if I’m modeling those qualities well.

Happy Monday! Thanks, Emily for a wonderful meme (I really enjoyed thinking about how this meeting might have gone), and thanks again, Judd, for bringing me into your circle!

The Week in Quotes (if nothing else)

It was a busy, hectic week. Far too busy to find the time to post anything of substance. For the record, it wasn't a bad week; it was just really full. I was, however, able to collect enough quotage for a post today (in the interest of full disclosure, many of this week's gems came from Karla's birthday party Saturday. I will have just enough time to post before I have to get up and make pancakes. Happy Sunday!

“I embrace my weirdness.” Arry.

“Yes, ma’am...er...” Jake, to me.

“How many people got the midget card?” Molly, recounting the statement of a student in her class.

“But I’m having a constructive conversation in Spanish!” Max, interrupting my French class.

"Ow! That hurts!" Juju, after saying, "Como se escribe quelquefois en francés?"

“I ran for 3 and a half minutes! No, they were not all at once.” Suzanne.

“So, I’m like a squirrel in six different ways.” NiNi, in what easily ranked as the most random comment of that particular day.

“Don’t try to make sense of it. It’s a, it’s a... It’s GOLD!” Dennis Gardman, from an NPR story on what draws people to buy gold. (you can listen to it [HERE]).

“I just had a vibe.” Lexi, who looked up just as I was in the act of throwing something at her because she wasn’t paying attention.

“Don’t talk about brownies while I’m cleaning the toilet.” Eric.
“Was I reading it from a text or something??” Ruth, who never swears, attempting to explain why I might have heard her do just that at one time.

“Well, at least it wasn’t as bad as ‘skateboard’.” Wheeler, on Ruth’s now legendary choice of card in Apples to Apples®.

“Your mother’s absurd...” My wife, attempting to use a “your mom” retort during the same Apples to Apples® game.

“Having all the people in the house brought the temperature up 5 degrees!” Karla, looking at the thermostat in the dining room. It registered 65°F.

Monday Meditation: An Excellent Life

How can a person create an excellent life? This is the meditation I’m carrying around as I take care of the myriad domestic duties that fill my to-do list on this Monday.

What makes an excellent life? Certainly one part of the answer involves understanding what we, as humans, can experience. We are, to be sure, constrained by the limits of what we can do and feel, and to ignore these limits inevitably leads to frustration, denial and, eventually, to feelings of failure and helplessness. Yet, out of fear of experiencing these things, we often turn away from the process of exploration that helps us discover concretely just exactly what those limits are. In many ancient myths, someone who wanted to find happiness, love or enlightenment had to travel first through some version of hell. Dante did it most literally, I suppose. Before he was allowed to contemplate the splendors of heaven, Dante had to wander through the horrors of hell so he could understand what kept humanity from passing through the pearly gates. Frodo Baggins’ journey also illustrates this point, even if the hell he experienced was somewhat more metaphorical. I think there’s more to be said on this, but I save it for later. I have laundry to do today.

My point, I guess, is that we can and should be active in our efforts to understand what our own limits (that is, our own definitions of what makes an excellent life) really are. Although we are wise to accept that some of the main parameters of life are fixed--we can’t truly avoid sleeping, eating, interacting with one another and doing, on occasion, at least some work we find distasteful--there is a great deal of room for variety in the way we approach our lives. I believe that this flexibility allows enough room for people to take initiative and make choices to make a real difference in their lives. One of the greatest things we can do as people, I think, is to reflect on, and then act in, ways that make our lives excellent.

Paul Graham (2006) offers this statement, “‘Always produce’ is ... a heuristic for finding the work you love. If you subject yourself to this constraint it will automatically push you away from things you think you’re supposed to work on, toward things you actually like. (It will help you) discover your life’s work the way water, with the aid of gravity, finds the hole in your roof.” I am continually dismayed by how little time we devote in our society to trying to connect with the work we love. Consider the three major activities that make up how most of us spend our free time: Watching television, conversation and hobbies. Of these three, the one that takes up most of our time and, ironically, most of our psychic energy, is the one that is the most passive and, for many of us, the most addictive. That we are not taught to look at our lives through a lens of doing is made clear to me every year by the blank stares I receive when I ask my students if they have any hobbies. I once received a response from a girl in my class, “Is watching American Idol a hobby?”

In holding Graham’s statement up as one of wisdom, I don’t mean to say that life must be all work and no play. Anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I believe quite strongly in the value of play. Play is a great way to get to know yourself and, through that, your vision of an excellent life. “Always produce” is not meant to remove play and leisure from our lives; it’s meant to give it some sense of purpose. By making our leisure active, we continually zero in on the understanding of what makes us happy.

In what ways is your leisure time active? How does it connect to your vision of an excellent life?

Quotes of the Week: It's 10-10-10!

This week saw the candle I'd been burning at both ends completely extinguish. And just in time for a 3-day weekend! I'm going to enjoy sleeping in at some point! I hope you get some down time, too, if you need it. In the meantime, enjoy this week's quotes...

“Wow, you’re acting kinda saucy today.” Arry, after an exchange that started with, “Can I go to the bathroom?” and ended with, “I don’t know, can you?”

“I love that you laughed the instant you said that.” Jake, in response to Ella’s comment, “I think it’s sexist that only women get to be mothers.”

“I am bereft of sure.” Joanne. (I’m right there with you, Joanne!)

“He’s a king. His name is Duke.” SiSi, of a clay figure she made.

“I got exsanguinated by a giant tick!” Victoria, of her first roleplayed character’s death.

“It was love at first sight!” Dennise, after I noticed that she’d taken the following incriminating photo with Flor, one of my muppets.

“Do you swear in your classes?” Chili. (On the grounds that it might incriminate me...)

“You smell good! Like that restaurant we ate at.” NiNi who, in making this comment, fully refuted her earlier protestation that she did not like Mexican food.

“I’m glad you hadn’t picked it up yet,” Nana, of the very heavy air conditioner I was about to lift when she squealed and jumped, causing my heart to stop beating. She explained that she’d squealed because she’d seen a mouse.

"It feels good to get this one...” Detroit Lions center Dominic Raiola, after their 44-6 thrashing of the St. Louis Rams, which represented their first win in 11 games. The Lions, who had the NFL's first 0-16 season two years ago, had won just three of their previous 44 games before today’s victory.

"What's my score?" SiSi, after her first full round of disc golf ever. She threw for 128, but she did it from the pro tees. Her papa was so proud.

Thursday, in verse?

I stumbled home at 7:30,
No want to eat had I.
From soccer practice wet and dirty,
To bathe no will to try.

My children off to bed I sent.
We read, then off the light,
I cleaned up, then to bed I went,
My energy for schoolwork spent,
and didn’t stir all night.

Awash...

I took the day off from school. I did not take the day off from school work, however. I reviewed exams and futzed around with how to best offer feedback on them that also made for easy recording in the spreadsheet that is my gradebook. I am still not happy with how it works.

The exams are showing me that the students are generally where they should be. I have a couple who are excelling wonderfully and a few who need to get up off their butts, but there’s not a wide range like has been the case in years past. I’m not sure yet if that’s because of the system I’m piloting or the students I have. Time will tell.

Some alumni from my soccer team will be by tomorrow for practice. They’ve offered to help run drills with the veterans of this year’s team so I can work with the newer bunch. Then, they want to scrimmage and show the younglings what soccer really looks like. I’m looking forward to lacing my cleats up and joining them. I do so enjoy taking it to my team from time to time! I may look old, but I can still regularly pwn them with a soccer ball.

My brain is awash with lesson plans, home stuff, letters half written, research have conducted and lesson plans half complete. I’m going to go to bed and hope that most of it sorts itself out by the morning.

Ten Things Tuesday: Unique Teaching

I am an unusual teacher, and I teach in an unusual school. Here are ten (and not the only ten) things that set me apart from the mainstream members of my profession:

1. I go by my first name. Although some of my earliest alumni from my time in traditional public school still refer to me as “Mr. Wayfarer”, I am much happier being able to go by my first name. It matches my informal and disinvolto professional style, and encourages students to get to know me as a person, not just as a teacher.

2. I get, and give, a lot of hugs. This is a celebrated element of the rather bohemian culture of my school, and I very much enjoy the closeness it creates between individuals. Particularly at the high school level where everyone is hypersensitive to physical touch, to see someone in the hall, say, “Hi!” and exchange a friendly embrace just makes everyone's day go a little better. High fives are also incredibly common.

3. I don’t grade homework. This is one of the elements of the system I’m piloting this year. The decision to do this came from an epiphany I had during the summer. In a nutshell, it started from the question of what a grade is supposed to quantify. For teachers, it usually measures a student’s ability to do and know, but often there’s a whole lot of other stuff that ends up part of the equation--timeliness, class participation and neatness of work, to name some. Most people who aren’t teachers, though, look at a grade much more simply. Is the student doing well? What do they know? What can they do? Synthesizing lots of things into a single grade really muddies the water when trying to communicate clearly about a student’s progress and performance, so I started looking for ways to make it clearer. One of the things I realized was that I was counting homework as part of their overall grade, when I really only assign homework to be practice. What is the value in doing that? At best, it forces work on a student who is overloaded and who needs different support. At worst, it hides a demonstration of perfectly good skills behind a failure to do “busy work”. Once I realized I might be able to help students better by looking at their grade as a function of skills instead of assignments, it made sense to let go the grading of anything that wasn’t a summative assessment of what they knew or could do. I’ll let you know how this change in philosophy pans out, but the early returns seem positive.

4. I tell my students to solve their own problems. You don’t have a pencil? Your notebook? A clue? Don’t ask me. I’m in charge of the cosmic, celestial parts of what goes on in the classroom, and that takes up a lot of my life. I don’t have time or energy to worry about, let alone address, your own material inadequacies. Someone, somewhere has a pencil, a copy of your worksheet for you to use, some sense of what’s going on. Ask them. Use your proletarian resources to the fullest before seeking the ethereal ones. Now, if you have a problem that is celestial in nature, you should bring that to me first. Do not suffer in silence on matters of importance. Just take a minute to think about what is and is not something that needs my attention.

5. I have an “official sniveling stance”. I will have someone pose for it later this week, so you can see it. If you want to snivel in my space, you are required to adopt the official sniveling stance. No snivels will be entertained if you are not adopting the stance. This rule accounts for a near 90% reduction in sniveling and related complaints in my classroom.

6. I use muppets and personalities in my classes. Mbungo, Isabela, Flora, Rita, Eldrin and Jesus are all part of a cast of characters in an ever-growing collection of skits and stories that relate to what I teach. I’m realizing as I write this that I don’t have pics of them all to share right now, but I’ll work on it. Not all my students respond to them in person (it’s interesting to see who will interact with a muppet and who won’t), but once they’ve learned a little about each of them, reading and hearing about them in stories seems to help them engage better.

7. I let my students listen to music when they’re studying or taking tests. There are certain people who simply focus better by having music playing. I am not one of them, really, but my classes are chock full of students who are. If it produces better learning, I’m all for it. Related to this, if they’re kinesthetic learners and need to move around to study, I tell them to take a walk and come back in a few minutes and show me that they’ve learned what they need to (this works well for vocab memorization).

8. I give my home number to my students. Believe it or not, I’ve never had this abused in 12 years of teaching. Most of my students are actually afraid to call me! Maybe it’s because I make them do it as part of one of their exams?

9. I wear jeans and sweatshirts to school. In my first year of teaching high school, I wore shirts and ties and good pants. Then I realized that nobody cared if I didn’t. I wear such things now only twice a year: Open House and graduation. This year, I didn’t even wear them for Open House because we had a soccer game that afternoon and I didn’t have time. I apologized to the parents. They were forgiving. We won the game, after all.

10. I keep in touch with my students long (in many cases, years) after they leave my classroom. The alumni from my early years are in their mid to late twenties now. Several are married and have children. Some are off on adventures. Others are quite happy to never have left home. I love all of them so much, and I am honored that they come by as often as they do to share their happenings with me and my family. For me, teaching is first about forming quality relationships. High school is so forgotten about once it’s done and, with it, any connection to the mentors that helped us through that turbulent time. Those are important relationships, and learning how to nurture important relationships is so much more valuable than anything else I can teach. It makes me smile that so many of my students know this, and pass it on to others. Thanks, y’all! You make me so proud!

Monday Meme: Questions for Autumn

Many of these questions presuppose living in New England (or some other place that has a distinct autumnal culture), but I’d be curious to hear answers from people who live outside the northeast.

Have you turned the heat on in your house yet this fall? Nope. It’s only just begun to get cold enough to bring the plants in, and it’ll be several weeks before frost really settles in the valley. We have time--and plenty of blankets!

Do you allow your pets on the furniture? She can’t get up on anything but the couch now, but our cat has always been welcome on anything that people sit on.

What were your final words for September? Man, you went by fast!

What are your first words for October? Please be gentle. There’s a lot going on and I'm working right on the edge of burnout.

Do you think you’ve ever seen a ghost? Seen? I don’t think so. Felt? Perhaps.

What is the one color that represents this time of year? I’ll say orange, since it’s the one I can see best. It’s the color of pumpkins and candy corns!

Which of your senses do you think is most sensitive this time of year? My sense of smell is awash this time of year with the scents of apple cider, pumpkin muffins, wool sweaters, dried grass, decaying leaves and the enigmatic yet immediately recognizable smell of approaching winter.

What is your favorite thing to do at the county fair? I love the food. There’s a booth at the local event that does the most amazing corn chowder! And then there’s the obligatory dog dish of French fries, followed by local peach cobbler for dessert. After that, I really like to watch the horse pull competition. Something about it evokes wonderful memories of farm life for me.

What do you like when you have a cold? I’m blessed that I don’t get sick like that often anymore (although this year I did manage to pick up a bug for a couple of days). I supposed I like best just to curl up under several layers of blanket and vegetate to mindless video entertainment. It takes my mind away from the feeling of miserable.

Are you willing to spend over $100 for a piece of winter clothing, like boots or a coat? I think $100 doesn’t go as far as it used to a couple of years ago, but I’ll spend what I must to feel the right kind of comfortable. Having said that, my favorite winter coat is a simple affair that Wifeness bought me several years ago for less than $50. That coat and a wool sweater underneath will do me just fine in sub-zero weather. It’s like magic!

What do you have too much of in your kitchen? Our kitchen is a resting area for many things. It was apples a couple of weeks ago, and Mason jars yesterday. It will be laundry tomorrow. Today is sort of an in-between day and there’s a decent balance of everything. There’s fresh bread cooling on the island, but not more than we’ll eat this week. There’s chicken being cooked down for broth, but that’s not really in the way. There are rather too many raincoats on the coat pegs right now, but those will make their way soon to the coat rack the front hall.

What gripes do you have about this time of year? That it can be simultaneously hot and cold drives me nuts! I need it to be one or the other, so I can dress properly!

Other than yourself, are you responsible for getting anyone ready in the morning? Wifeness and I tagteam the readiness duties for the two elementary schoolers in the house. In most other ways, the members of the house do for themselves.

When was the last time you cleaned your gutters? Pfft! That’s what a good, strong rain is for!

So, it’s after Labor Day. Will you still be wearing white? The only white I routinely wear is on my socks and my t-shirts. I’m still wearing socks. The t-shirts are being herded to the bin for the Great Clothes Switch.

What shows are you most looking forward to this Fall? I only really follow 3: How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory and Nova (including its spinoffs Science Now and Secrets of the Dead). I just don’t have time for the rest of what’s on.

What three things have you just not gotten around to from the summer, but probably should do before snow flies? I really need to finish painting the bulkhead doors, I need to finish cleaning in the basement and (although this is mostly Wifeness’ project), I’d like to see the dining room painted. I don’t like doing home improvement projects in the winter. Winter is a time for small projects that can be done in front of the (metaphorical) wood stove, not ripping wallpaper off the walls and refinishing floors.

The (so busy) Week in Quotes (that I didn't write them all down):

It was a great week for quotes in my world, but it was also really busy and, for all that I tried to carry them all in my head between moments at the computer, I ended up losing far more than I could retain. Maybe I should just carry a little notebook around. Here's what managed to make it this far:

“Because he’s not Spanish.” Meredith, during French, in reply to the question, “Why is there no “e” in “grand” for Harold?”

“So, if I were to die right in the middle of a sentence, they’d only know that I am NOT?!” Brittany, in exasperation over the fact that the “no” in Spanish comes before the verb.

“If everyone expected to get caught, no one would ever commit a crime.” Wilbur Rido, convicted felon and author of the memoir In the Place of Justice.

When you're surrounded by critics it can be hard to remember your own goals and expectations, (and) you start to judge yourself by what other people are saying.” Abby Sunderland, shortly after she abandoned her attempt to become the youngest person to sail around the world.

“What’re you doing on the phone in my class?! Get off the phone!” Me, before realizing the student I was chastising was actually using one of my prop phones to practice for his exam.

“I wonder why they make women's cologne to smell like flowers. To attract men, I think you should smell like maple syrup or bacon.” Trudy.

“This is a clear case of arson!” “Arson??” “Yeah, Arsin’ around!” From Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Wererabbit

“There are just muffins everywhere!” Alex, during a soccer team meeting, as he picked a half-eaten muffin up off the shelf in the room and began to eat it. He later admitted, after I nearly vomited, that it was his own.

“If it makes you feel any better, Thursday is no longer cruciferous vegetable night!” Sheldon Cooper (with many thanks to Anonymous, who posted the link to the show I missed) .

“We could rent you a 14-passenger boat instead, if you’d like. It comes with oars. Lots of oars.” The rental agent at the place where I rent the vans to take my team to soccer games, when I called to cancel the reservation because of torrential rain.

“His name’s not Dave?? I thought it was Dave.” Shayla, after being corrected for misnaming this supposedly popular animated character:

Thoughts of October

Geese make their way south,
Plants come in, pumpkins come out.
Winter is coming.

[photo source]