Monday, December 15, 2008

Will you 10,000 monkeys shut the hell up?!?

The kitchen is full of people, and I can’t get in to fill the dishwasher. That’s ok. I needed to post for today, anyway.

Today, it was 54ºF. I don’t think I can tell you just how good it felt to my psyche to be outside in that weather. I ran for 4 miles after classes and it hurt and healed at the same time. For those of you only just getting back into your homes, I am very, very sorry. I feel guilty that I kinda needed it so bad.

I sat down with myself last night and meditated on my goals and what I wanted and needed to do to achieve them. I have to admit it was hard to do that. I have been in a funk for a good week, and anyone who knows what that feels like will agree that getting out of one is a whole lot harder than getting into one. It was hard to focus, and more than once I thought it might be better if I just went ahead to sleep. I’ve learned from past experience, though, that if I just keep going back to the thing I’m supposed to be contemplating, eventually one of two things happens: I either achieve clarity (that is, the distractions sort of fade out), or I reach a point where the distractions become the thing I realize I need to focus on. The latter was more the case last night. Mostly, it came down to knowing I needed to get up and start doing. OK, fine. What’s in the way, then? I made a list of stuff. I took care of a bunch of it today during school. I’ll start on some more tonight. I’ll try not to let the list get in the way of the goals (that’s a lot like missing the forest for the trees), but I need to work through the distractions to get to a point where I can go back to actually contemplating the big picture. I’m not all the way there yet, but already I feel much more like I should today for having taken the time to get inside my head.

2 comments:

Mrs. Chili said...

This is some crazy-ass weather. It's not supposed to get much above freezing today, and we hit nearly 60 yesterday. Sigh.

Anonymous said...

Just like the big bear, we have to give our shoulders a good shake to be sure that we are ready to hibernate.
That, and knowing what to eat and when. Good work.