Friday, June 9, 2006

A moment of silence, please...

My truck has just been diagnosed with a terminal “illness”. Her life’s blood is slowly leaking away. She is 15 years old, with nearly 175,000 miles, so I knew this would happen sooner or later, but I was hoping to get enough time out of her so that we might enjoy some time without a car payment (Wifeness’ van will be paid off in a few months). This vehicle has been very good to me and my family, and I will mourn its loss.

There just wasn’t any sense in putting the money into it at this point. Her body and frame is rusting out (old age is a bitch!) and, in addition to the valve seal job she would need, she’s well overdue for a new clutch, a power steering pump, new shocks and a new seal for her sunroof. All together, it just wouldn’t be worth it.

So, while she’s on her way out, the process of finding a suitable replacement begins. Callous, I know, but she’s been gracious enough to give me time so I want to put it to good use. Who knows how much longer we’ll have, after all.

Wifeness and I have talked about what qualities my “new” trusty steed should possess. Please consider the following as an example of the intrinsic differences between what we each value in a vehicle.


• Must have a back seat (adequate for carrying two children and car seats)
• Must be enjoyable for her to drive (she HATES driving my truck!)
• Should have airbags, antilock brakes and appropriate safety features (“You may NOT die on me!”)
• Should be cost-effective to drive and maintain (25+ mpg would be great!).
• Should not be ugly


• Must be a stick-shift (How can I drive like Ayrton Senna with an automatic??)
• Must have storage adequate to transport one soccer team’s worth of equipment (or the equivalent in fast-food wrappers)
• Should have a sunroof (since I’ll never own a convertible…)
• Should be able to drive around in the snow and mud without sniveling and WITHOUT GETTING STUCK!! (I don’t go off road a lot but, when I do, I damn sure expect to be invincible!)
• Must be able to properly and easily carry a 4x8 sheet of plywood and a canoe (but not necessarily at the same time).

I put it to you, fellow bloggers!

What kind of vehicle, in your own estimation, matches these criteria the best? Do you own one? Do you like it? Your opinions and experience are, of course, muchly appreciated.


Mrs.Chili said...

As I'm sure you know, Wayfarer, I have zero truck-buying experience. I'm more into the little compact cars, Golfs and the like, so I'm not sure how much guidance I can be here but I will say this: with the exception of both the "enjoyable" and "ugly" criteria, I would say that Wifeness' standards are neither unreasonable nor a hinderance to your search, though it's tough to find a car - used or not - that doesn't have airbags and, well, she needs to come down off of whatever high she's on because 35 MPG?! MY car doesn't even get THAT!

That being said, you're on your own as far as MY guidance is concerned. I don't even know anyone who owns a truck anymore - they've all ditched them in the interest of not going bankrupt over the gas prices.

HomeFireBlue said...

Chevy 2500 king cab dually (with a gooseneck hitch)

What?! We're talking about you, and not me?? You don't want to mortgage the house?

Well, crud.

Seriously, a king cab truck would be my choice. It has seats in the back, comes with a sunroof, is a stick (no real man buys an automatic truck. Automatic trucks are An Abomination), and can carry both plywood and a canoe.

Good luck shopping!


Sharpie said...


No, I don't own one - but I have Hemi-Envy. Just saying it gives me goose-bumps.

I love the Durango HEMI myself.